prose

the meat and potatoes stuff

a novel by
Pete McKinley

exerpts from the novel

Chapter IV

Chapter V

The bus smelled like the fishing launch, of gasoline and the sea. Letha sat beside him, put her head on his shoulder and went to sleep. Waldo was two seats ahead on the left talking with Senor Tallarin. Mike Crowder was explaining that the blinds had been prepared, decoys set out and hot thermos coffee and sandwiches were in place. The blinds were double and Mike and Cole would hunt together.
When the bus finally stopped rattling and bouncing, Cole pushed Letha awake and helped her outside. The driver turned the lights off and everything was black. There was some milling around and Cole lost Letha but someone found his hand.
“Senor Rain, I am Cerillo. You will follow me.”
Cole’s hand was dropped and he said, “Hey, wait a minute. I can’t see a thing.”
“Hold to my belt. I am carrying your gun and shells,” a voice said. Cole assumed it was still Cerillo.
They stumbled along for about twenty feet and Cole began to hear water splashing around his ankles. He was grateful for the waders Myron Brown had lent him.
“Don’ make too much noise,” the voice whispered.
“O.K,” Cole muttered and started to sweat.
They plodded and slithered for what seemed an hour but was only fifteen minutes, and then Cerillo stopped. “From here you will shoot,” the voice whispered again. Cole felt tall thick grass being parted and then bumped a round island. “Get inside,” the voice said. “There is a seat.”
Cole stepped over and into a concealed blind. He felt the shotgun as Cerillo pressed it on him and then the shells. “There is a dry place in front of you to place the shells and gun,” the voice said close to his ear. Cole found what he thought was a secure spot and laid the equipment down. He really didn’t care if it fell in the water or not. “Here is your refreshment,” the voice said and guided his hand to a pasteboard box and metal bottle.
“Gracias,” Cole said and he supposed it was Cerillo moving stealthily away. After the foot splashes quit he listened for the sound of ducks waking up, but all he heard was a python or a boa constrictor twisting through the slime and grass to attack and strangle him in his lair. There wasn’t anything else to do, so he decided to eat the sandwiches and drink the coffee. Reaching out he found an unexpected bottle of beer. Five minutes later it was open after being pounded on the side of the blind. He smelled the awful fluid too late to prevent filling his mouth, but he didn’t swallow. The stuff was spewed into the tall grass from his mouth and nostrils. The weather was so warm Mike Crowder had forgotten to mention the small stove and extra bottle of kerosene. Cole stretched his hands out and found what he assumed was warm dirty water. He rinsed as best he could under the circumstances and then ate three sandwiches. There was chicken and ham and cheese.
After checking the coffee before tasting it, Cole started to remember what he knew about duck hunting. You had to wait for the first light, that was important. Probing the darkness in all directions, he tried to find some hint of this first light. One part of the horizon or the points where he assumed the horizon to be was as black as another. Suddenly he did hear rustlings and stirrings and then as though someone might be talking, a low melodious sound.
He decided it was more like a coo.
At last he saw first light but it was so faint he had to concentrate hard to make sure it was true. And there it was, only higher up than he expected. A thin shaft of difference in the blackness and at the bottom of the thin shaft a pale spreading, and just below, the tops of hills off to the east. Soon there was no doubt of first light in the eastern sky and the subdued noise of awakening was all around.
Cole reached for the gun and opened the breach, then laid it down again to find the shells. They were smooth and oily to the touch. He loaded both chambers, closed and locked, feeling for the safety catch. It was still on. He left it on and waited with the butt of the gun resting in his lap. There was a splash nearby and a whirr of sound went over his head. Cole ducked. A pop sounded way off to the left and then two pops close together both to the right. Three, four dark objects flew across the pale sky directly in front of him. He raised the gun and fired. Nothing happened. He fired again and was sure that one of the objects fell. A bigger splash to his right. Now what should he do? Put down the gun and go after the fallen bird? As he got ready to do this he saw someone in a crouch approaching the blind. It was Cerillo. “That is the first one,” he said. “Very good shooting.” He laid the bird on a tuft of grass before backing into the shadows.
Maybe an hour later, Cole waited for his next shot. The watery rice field was sun drenched now and from its very center one duck approached straight on. Instinctively Cole raised the gun and at the same moment remembered this was supposed to be the most difficult shot. The sight swept along the oncoming bird and into the sky before he squeezed the trigger. The duck flipped over and over coming directly at him. Again Cole ducked to escape the flopping object, but the bird plopped at the edge of the water and rolled within a foot of the blind. The blue head glinting green, and the white necklace of feathers identified a mallard. Except for the natural markings of the beautiful dead thing, there was but a single bright red dot on the blue-green head. Cole stared at the first close-up of the results of his shooting. He hoped it would get up and fly away. It didn’t. “To hell with this,” he muttered and climbed out of the blind. The bus was maybe five hundred yards away on a little knoll. He slogged towards it not worrying about the noise. Cerillo gathered up the dead ducks and followed.
Mike Crowder was leaning on a fender as Cole approached. “Looks like you did pretty well for yourself,” he said.
“Yeah, I got more than my share,” Cole admitted. “I thought you were going to hunt with me.”
“I had to go back to the ship. I may go out now and try my luck.” Mike said a few words to Cerillo in passing on his way to the empty blind.
Waiting for the others to return, Cole cleaned the gun thoroughly and washed off the waders. Senor Tallarin, the short one, was the next to come in. His bag was even larger than Cole’s. The guide laid them on the ground for inspection. Cerillo had cleaned the last of Cole’s shoot and stored them in an ice chest at the back of the bus.
When the hunt was finished and they were bouncing back to the ship Cole was reluctant to talk about his skill. Only Senor Tallarin had shot more ducks.
The rest of the stay in Mazatlan, Cole swam and fished. One day after catching two sailfish he had his picture taken between them as they hung down. Since the are not that good to eat, the fish guide suggested they be given to the poorhouse. He explained that the poor people liked them. Maybe because there wasn’t anything else to eat.
A couple of times Cole went to sleep on the beach and dreamed. Later on it was hard to separate the dreams from what really had happened, even though it wasn’t much. When John Smith left for San Francisco in the company plane Cole thought of returning with him but decided he should see it through. When the ship sailed north he was on it.
He played cards, shuffleboard, and shot skeet. Nothing more occurred aboard ship that raised his faintest suspicion.

ppotry

the passionate stuff

Ray Heinrich

for a few quick words

ray heinrich

texas
on the way to
liberty texas
we
hafta stop
to fuck on the hood

Taylor Graham

You’d better keep that voice
under wraps. Oh, it’s all right
to rhyme in poems. But
your life must stump alone
in plain old prose. Shut up
that voice that puns and funs
and laughs without a chuckle,
that tears its words apart
in sounds and crazy echoes.
They’ll lock you up
if you talk like that.

Michael Estabrook

I’m heading home from the pool and for some reason I begin thinking about the movie Oh God, the one in which George Burns plays God. And it’s not as if I’m always thinking about this movie. In fact I don’t recall ever thinking about this movie, other than for a few minutes after seeing it 20 or so years ago. It just popped unannounced into my mind. I think how nice a movie it was, how the concept of God as a loving yet hands-off deity was portrayed so simply and clearly and believably. I think how good it was that George Burns got to play God, he was such a cute guy for the part, unassuming and loving, understanding and non-threatening. And I look over and notice I’m passing by Burns Street.

Rachel Crawfordt

Beside the black and secret well
The incantations started to swell
She knew, they knew, that she would tell
She was tied to the rock slab
Naked and scared
Their faces had a deathly stare
They picked her up and threw her in
The black and secret well
They wanted to kill her
Body and soul
But spirits always tell

Tim W. Brown

The tulip bulbs
of March do not
unfurl their leaves
in my neighborhood,
where those who care
enough to plant
cannot uproot cement,
nor crowd out broken
bottles that sprout
furiously in yards.
So I think as I walk
to work, pavement
a badly stretched
canvas, whose borders
could stand tulip
blooms polka dotting
yellow, red and blue.

Caron Andregg

“The Inca word for poetry was the same for pottery and
antelope; the former because of its transformation out of
clay and the latter because it bounds away the moment you
surprise it.”

- Hieronymus Anonymous

Awake on the naked plain
In the cold-fire of dreaming
Focused and intense as the concave mirror
Behind the arc which concentrates the spark
Into a light so bright it blinds.
Soul blown hotter than a potter’s kiln
Blasts your flesh to ash then down
To bright and molten glass
Woven through a filigree of bone.
Poised on the naked plain
Between flight and immolation
And only the coals know
If you’ll bound away in quick surprise
Or stand fast before the fire
And be transformed.

Alan Catlin

Chorus line shopping bag ladies,
lined up for the underground,
catching subways on the hot
El tracks, humming strange lines
from Ravel, waving goodbye to
la dolce vita, carrying all
they own wrapped in special
sections of the New York Times,
safely tucked under broken arms,
grabbing all the gusto they can,
as it comes, in a rush, head on

David E. Cowen

Blue paper donkeys hang from a long pole;
mariachis blare Colores in the rising heat;
old faces smile as they offer burnt carmel to the young.
Silver buckles and turquoise rings
shimmer in glass cases,
smudged with tiny prints,
just beyond the reach of curiosity.
A first kiss before the Dance of the Viejos;
a last kiss after the Machete dance.
Red Dusk lights yellow sparklers,
children run in a train of rainbow crepe,
waiting for the breaking of the pinata;
chicle’ rains from the shattered belly
of a straw dog;
brown heads swarm onto the sweetness,
then retreat to the soft laps of their donas
as the sky burst in brightly peppered light.

Holly Day

They have repainted the walls
of my new apartment, painted
over the cellophane bodies
of insects still clinging
to the opaque white primer
I can see them twitching
through the eggshell gloss
their wings beating fierce
to crack through the prison
of knickknacks and bookshelves
and new furniture
I direct the moving men to crush them
flat, into the wood

Richard Fein

Donna stuttered.
We knew three boys who stuttered but no girl,
except Donna.
One of our gang heard his mom say
that her mother once worked in the Club Valley.
She danced by the willows under the red and blue lights,
and served men in the house.
We knew what serving men meant, or thought we did-
then the fire, then the ruin.
All such ruined houses are haunted,
but we’d play hide-and-seek there.
Donna would also hide in the drooping leaves,
but she played no games.
Once she stuttered to me not to tell,
for her mom carried a dog leash
which she used especially when drunk.
Her mother asked me once where Donna was hiding.
She was a grownup.
She knew gangsters, that’s what I heard.
All this was many years ago.
A co-op now stands on the lot.
Of the weeping willows, the haunted house-not a trace.
I was scared.
She asked where.
I told.

Raymond L. Heinrich

picking up a stone
walking on a road
i want to cry
and i’m seven
and scared
of my first day of school
tomorrow

in the morning
the smell of a new lunch box
as my mom
stuffs it with sandwiches

i’m her first
and we both
don’t know
what to expect

By Paul L. Glaze

We Spend Our Life Gathering Things.
Fast Cars, Guitars, And Diamond Rings,
We Want New Things At Every Turn.
Spending Our Life In A Wanting Churn.

Our Desire For Things Is A Confession.
That Soon Becomes A Life Long Obsession.
There Is A Saying That Burns Our Heart
( A Fool And His Money Soon Shall Part )

At The Risk Of Sounding A Little Rude
But We Each Are Born In The Nude.
We Spend Our Lives Collecting Thing
Seeking Happiness Processions Brings.

All Of Our Life, We Try To Live Like Kings
Gathering Things Until That Lady Sings.
Then We Die, And As Our Friends Look Back
All We Took Were The Clothes On Our Back.

When We Are Buried Deep In The Ground
No One Cares About Our Suit Or Our Gown.
Our Life Won’t Be Measured By Things We Won.
But Will Be Measured By The Deeds We’ve Done !

Allison Jenks

Four spells backward I was
Candidly winking at you.
Callow and wearing too many movies.
I thought sex was a slanderous kind of thing-
A tactful camisado of perfumes and tongue
where I’d try to breathe quieter than you.
You’d get me down, see me naked
and decide how much ghost
you were gonna play with.
You’d guess I liked the bottom
for too deep a reason like it was
because I got assigned to back of the class
in eighth grade homeroom.
Really, I just like the shading
and my hair hung better there.
I let you think those things so
you don’t realize it if I’m not happy
with my footballish thighs and the sex.
I’d rather you’d think there was
some childhood obstacle I have
yet to tackle, at least you feel
Power-driven to hunt that
Dark side of me and work there
like a spiritual nurse
with a lantern and your tools.
Should I still be planning
our relationship like this?
Am I getting sick of knowing
what I’m thinking but
pretending that I don’t
Look up your ego and send you
searching in circles for answers to me.
I like it that you even want to look
But how would I know that you would
have looked anyway.
As long as this succeeds this
love-fleeting world and your
neurosistic-originated temptations
I’ll keep you erect as tactfully as I can.

by M. Kettner

rumors:
chewing glass
burnt egg stuck to pan

by Lyn Lifshin
(appeared in Illya’s Honey, Summer 1996)

waves, but they
are not of water
but sand she’s
gazing into ripples
of desert the light
could hypnotize,
the colors go on
and on there is
an island in the
soft warmth that
flows, changes,
drifts and blows
like chunks of her
life and she thinks
maybe out of what
is tough and hard
as boulders some
thing less heavy
could grow

deckard kinder

so mr taking care of business finds himself in this no tell motel with ms no names are best who is all charo curves and then some in a tight tight tight megashort turboplunging neckline that flashes cleavage like everybody’s business black dress teetering on platforms that would allow dr loveless to slam dunk in a new york second not to overlook the platinum blond hair the never seen the sun pale skin the shrieking bright red lips the jet black eye makeup that can’t quite hide those karen black baby blues the two inch long blood red fingernails enough sweet sweet oh so sweet perfume for the fucking red army no bra no panties a smoky voice that whispers of sex without ever whispering a word of sex or anything else for that matter and a tattoo on the inside of her left thigh advertising love for sale
and the second thing he notices after the dank smell of this dingy room is the neo mediterranean waterbed with the maroon crushed velvet blan Uket and the black satin sheets and the mirrors on the ceiling and it’s almost dark side of the moon somber not sexy here except that this drunk disco diva wants what he’s got as much as he wants what she’s got and he has every intention of giving it all to her trust me on this
she wanders into the bathroom and when she stumbles back into the bedroom with nothing but a towel wrapped around her his eyes cruise her geography like jacques cousteau exploring some exotic south pacific reef so his mind is totally wet dream teen yabba dabba doing her doing her doing her yabba dabba doing her while he tosses off the I’m a high priced corporate lawyer one hundred percent wool pinstriped armani aren’t we impressed accouter dark life motel fantasies gutter crawling through his libido like film at eleven
and no sooner is he starkers than her towel hits t he floor so he gets his first one hundred percent uninterrupted view of her terra firma which is very firm indeed
and before he can make a move ms no names are best wraps herself around him like gold foil xmas paper on a bloomingdales box for the little woman and in a sweaty heartbeat they are oh baby baby oh baby baby oh on the mediterranean california kingsize waterbed all lips and fingers and teeth and tongues doing the foreplay number on necks and ears and tits and cocks and cunts sparks ignition lift off blast off fire one fire two fire three arched backs ecstatic moans and groans and mr taking care of business who in his plush high rise corner office never makes waves is making waves with ms no names are best on this water bed like a weather channel tsunami warning godalmighty hallelujah! drive it home james until they are both spent
sweaty
gasping
christ walking on water can you believe it could ever be this good sex on a stick numb done fini shed enough is enough already time for a rest
time for ms no names are best to slide on into the bathroom not quite closing the door all the way while he smokes a dunhill scans the room and catches a glimpse of her turning the water on and so he watches wondering just what it is women do in the bathroom so often so long and so he sees her slip the needle out of her purse tap it one two three four times hold it up and very professionally press a no air bubbles here tease out tap a vein nestled in the crook of her elbow slip that cool steel smoothly slowly into her arm and empty the contents pull the needle out put it back in her purse wipe her arm turn the light out and stroll back to the bed totally unaware that he has seen a thing totally unaware that from the moment he saw that needle she was the ugliest hag he had ever seen until he saw the hair the lips the tits the flat belly the ass the legs again and she became beautiful one more time to him
and so they go to sleep he in his way she in hers except that she doesn’t wake up when morning comes and if he thinks he made waves in bed he ain’t seen nothin yet

Bob Ludden

It’s living, I guess.
Pretty much the same, each day.
The food tastes real bad.
The rooms are hot and smelly.
I spend a lot of time alone.
It’s best to stay out of trouble.
Still, my friends and I are close.
We play basketball.
We watch the tube.
We laugh together
We fight sometimes.
But, we stand together when it counts.
Shit, you won’t believe this, but......
Sometimes we even pray together.
Like tonight....there were six of us.
It was a special occasion.
Nobody said much.
We just had to be with each other.
Bill couldn’t be here.
I think, though, he knew we were together.
We wondered what he was thinking.
.......As he waited to die.

janet kuypers

I wear my scars like badges.
These deep marks show through from under my skin
like war paint on an Apache chief.
Decorated with feathers, the skins of his prey.

I have a scar over my left knee.
It’s left over from a bout with poison ivy
I had after climbing a mountainside.
The four-inch long slice curves around my leg,
almost perfectly defining the muscles in my thigh.

I have a scar on my right shin.
I slipped on a patch of rocks and cut up the lower
half of my leg and filled it with gravel and dirt.
Joe poured hydrogen peroxide on my leg
and wrapped my wounds with paper towels
because the cuts were so wide spread.
An hour later I was on a plane home,
so I could tend to my wounds in greater detail.
Tend to my wounds in depth.
Now all that is left is a two-inch line down
the side of my leg. Although it wasn’t a very
deep cut, it looks like it went straight to the bone.

I have a circular scar on my left calf,
from getting off a motorcycle and sliding
my leg over the scalding hot exhaust pipe.
It has been seven years since I gained that scar,
and with each year I see it fade away just a little.
I can still see it, but the memory is slowly slipping away.

My cat scratched me on my wrist once
when we had to give her medication.
Cats don’t like taking pills, or having ointment
dabbed on and liquid poured over their wounds.
When giving her pills, we’d grab all her paws,
pull her head back by the nape of her neck,
pry her jaws wide open so the pill will fall back
and she is forced to swallow it.
But sometimes she’d move too much
and a paw would slip out of our grasp.
And now, over the bone on my left wrist,
a long thin scar stares at me defiantly.

I tell people that if they wake up
with bruises and cuts they don’t remember,
then they must have had fun the night before.
But each marking, each scar is a story,
is a memory. It is a way to remember how you lived.
And it is with these marks that I gauge my living.
It is with these marks that I feel decorated.

Ray Heinrich

i told myself
i was loaning you the money
you needing it most nights
sharing a hotel room
down on a street
where i need to walk
in my old clothes
pretending we’re friends
but this little piece
is for sale
and i went down on you once
too often
and everybody knows
you’re a bastard
but i
just can’t find any better
and it’s karma i hear
over the pissy smell
of memory
of wading for you
in public restrooms
and scratching your number
on my brain
while trying
to get you back

Bob Ludden

Beautiful girl,
With your approach
your eyes meet mine
and thus create
a steaming furnace
from a heart of ice
in one tumultuous instant.

And after that
I see you everywhere,
on streets,
in shops,
in restaurants,
and in the city park
one time.

Among the lovliest I’ve known,
no parallel contests
the archetype of lovliness
who will not compromise
her being for a moment-
YOU, and nothing more be asked
beyond forever.

Now you evoke
my syncopated breath,
appearing once again before me.
Botticelli’s arm
would tremble at the sight.
Your garment floats in cadence
With your step.
As sand dunes shift in wind,
the soft material will mold itself
against your body to disclose
its perfect form.
With each nuance of motion,
In every frame of time,
You re-enact
the history of grace.

Closer now,
And I can almost hear your footsteps...
Closer still,
the field of vision narrows to our eyes;
no other world exists,
and I am hypnotized.
One pace apart!
Is my desire reflected there?
To meet your own?
You did not glance away!
But seared the channel of our sight
with unrepentant passion,
free of time and change.
One flash of lightning to illuminate
our dieing day,
but worth eternity....and forced to end
just in the moment that we meet.....
and pass on by.

Fithian Press, Santa Barbara, CA
Indeed, there’s a healthy balance here between wit and dark vision, romance and reality, just as there’s a good balance between words and graphics. The work shows brave self-exploration, and serves as a reminder of mortality and the fragile beauty of friendship.
Mark Blickley, writer
The precursor to the magazine title (Children, Churches and Daddies) is very moving. “Scars” is also an excellent prose poem. I never really thought about scars as being a form of nostalgia. But in the poem it also represents courage and warmth. I look forward to finishing her book.

You Have to be Published to be Appreciated.
Do you want to be heard? Contact Children, Churches and Daddies about book and chapbook publishing. These reviews can be yours. Scars Publications, attention J. Kuypers, 2543 North Kimball, Chicago, Illinois 60647. You can write for yourself or you can write for an audience. Write to us.

Jason Pettus

You ask me, “Why are you always pulling your computer out at bars and typing on it like some big ol’ nerd?”

Because I AM a nerd! I’ve been one since I was seven years old! Jesus Christ, can’t you see that?

And when I was lumbering on my eight color, grey boxed, green screen, 4K, didn’t even have a disk drive 1979 TRS-80,

it was like an epiphany.

When I ten and programmed my own Dungeons and Dragons game,
it was like I was walking on clouds.

When I was thirteen and taught myself assembly code,
it was like I had my hand curled around the lever of the world, and at any time I could... (yanks imaginary lever)

Why do I type on my keyboard in bars? Because computers were the end-all be-all for me, don’t you see, it was the place where I could be the person I always knew I was, deep inside, where I could be the person who I knew I WOULD be, someday.

And you - yes, you! - called me a faggot
And you - yes, you! - beat me up
And you - yes, yes, you! - took out the girl I wanted to take to prom
and fucked her in your backseat
against her will
and made her cry
and made her bleed
and I... typed

And when I had an Internet account in 1986 and you were walking by the dorm’s computer lab on your way to another fraternity party and another beer bong and another fag bashing and another date rape and another football riot and you said to your friend “Look at the fuckin’ geeks” and laughed... didn’t you realize that I could hear you? Didn’t you realize that I would remember?

And when we work together now, when we stand around a conference room on the 40th floor on some building that was de signed by a nerd and built by a laborer and rented by... you... when you discuss fighting fires and killing the messenger and falling on your own sword, when you clap me on the back and laugh and invite me for a beer with you on Friday evenings and act like everything is so chummy and like college never happened, like some bad fucking dream... well, don’t you realize that I could hear you? Don’t you realize that I would remember?

Don’t you realize that I can still hear you, yelling and screaming all the way up and down Lincoln Avenue, where YOU still call me a faggot and YOU still beat me up, and YOU, yes, YOU, still fuck the girls in your backseat?

Why do I type on my keyboard in bars? Because I CAN! Because I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but slo 1wly and surely I am taking over. Because I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but now I’M the one on stage, ranting and raving about computers, and YOU’RE the one who paid five bucks to SEE me rant and rave about computers. Because I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but I’m writing the books you read, I’m recording the music you listen to, I’m making the films you watch, I own the skyboxes of your precious sports arenas, I TOOK your job and I’m DRINKING your liquor and I’m SMOKING your cigars and yes, I’m FUCKING your WOMEN!

Wait, excuse me.

I’m tenderly making love to your women in a way you can only dream of.

Why do I type on my keyboard in bars? I’ve always been typing on my keyboard in bars. You’re just noticing it for the first time.

prose

the meat and potatoes stuff

Ken Sieben

Sep,8 O.k. iw’ll write this stupid jernel but, onley cuz the teecher say we gotto if we wanna pass the corse. An we can use cuss word she say that cool that cool that cool that cool that dum she say if you cant think a nothink to write jes keep writting the last think you done wrote that cool that cool that cool that cool. Anyways, she say she aint gonna reed this unless we ax her to, no way iw’ll.
Sep 10TH The main thing you need to no about me is that i’am not what youd call a (nice) person. I mean I allways think a myself first. Like I have a dauter but i dont reely care about her. Oh, yeah, once in a wile I like to tell people that I’am a father but, the truth is I dont no the kid at all and iw’ll probly keep it like that, I just like to remind my-self from time to time that I reely am a father.
Sep 15TH I’am twenty years old, i done quit Highschool too months fore i was thru, that why I’am takin this here corse to get my GED case I deside to go for my mates lisense, but i dont no about that. Anyways I’am livin on my own now since my Mom got shakked up again and moved to Riverton, i dig clams for a livin, an i like it. Don’t get me rong, its a tuff way to ern a livin, but I’am my own boss, and that what count. I bust my ass evry day and Iw’ll tell you I’am hurtin by the time i quit, but i wud’nt wanna do nothink else. I mean the mony good, corse it aint as good as it usta be fore the state inspekters stopped us from diggin on weekends. They say we always brakin their dam rules. Anyways i aint afrade a hard work. I’am big and strong. Reel big, six foot-five to be exack, onley I dont look that tall cuz I got such a normus chest an sholders an arms. Peepel look at me an thing I’am just a mussel freek but then they stand next to me an relize I’am a fukkin jient. I mean, i dont wanna brag but i’am the strongest guy i no.

Sep 17TH I’am sorry, i did’nt no we was posta write this here jernel ever-day, i though it was ever-day we have class. What the hell we posta put in it? Teacher she say we can use cuss words, maybe iw’ll, ha-ha-ha. I like that teacher, she got nice big jussy tit, i like to suck on em. She nice too, she say we dont gotta worry none bout spellin an punxashun an all that shit. That dont mean nothink anyway. Were posta write atlease a hunerd words ever-day, i no, a hunerd words ever-day a hunerd words ever-day. There, i done sum extra. Sep 18TH This is harder on the days when we dont have class. I mean, the teacher she aint here to tell me what to write. She say to put down ever-think we do all day. I’am to tired, iw’ll do it to-moroh.

Sep 19TH I was out to late on friday to write much in my jernel. I found a spot where a guy jes took his boat out an it was loaded with clams, nobody dug there all sumer i bet. Anyways, i got me a mess a clams ever-time i stuck my rake in. Dam near fill my boat up. I was last won back to the de-purashen plant but i got more mony then i ever done got, it was the best day i ever had sins i been diggin. I went back today and there was still more were they come from, hope there still thier on monday.

Sep 20TH I aint writting nothink on sunday.

Sep 21ST Saterday nite i went out to sellabrate. I went to the Seaside Nashville bar an had me a reel ball. I met this girl i usta no in Highschool. She was OK then even tho i did’nt pay no tenshen to her, she was awful skiny, you no what i mean, but she shure can put away the beer now, i mean she dam near drunk me under the table. An she a reel gnock-out ta look at to. She shure changed a lot sins Highschool.

Wednesday, Sept. 23 That was quiet a surprise, I didn’t think you was gonna reed our journals. I mean you said that the first nite. Well I gess it O.K. long as you keep it privet and don’t tell no-body in the class what I done writ. Anyways, I think I got my contraxions right this time.
OK, you said to try and discribe a person using all the senses. I’m gonna discribe Peggy, this person I met Saturday nite. First of all, she short. Corse ever-body short next to me but she reel short, onley about five-too or five-three. She also kinda thin, not skiny like she usta be, jest thin. She don’t look but about fifteen or sixteen. She cud’nt get served in no other Bar sep the Seaside Nashville. She got freckles all over, I mean all over, but I aint gonna tell you how I no that, you can gess. And she got red hair, its reel short and curly, an i like it. She got a reel nice figure to.
She talk nice, she got a sweet voice, reel quite-like. I don’t like wimmen with loud voices. No offense Miss. Klinger, I no you got a loud voice but teachers has gotto, I gess. I mean she “Peggy” talk so quite an soft that you gotta get reel close to here her.
And she smell good to. I mean she smell reel kleen. I wont get into how she feel and tast cuz that kinda dirty I think.

Thursday, Sept. 24 Well, today was a goddam tuff day. First of all my moter wouldn’t start. The plugs was all fouled up so I hadda kleen em. Then I hadda replace won of the high tenshen wires. I don’t no how much longer its gonna last, it was jest a old peace a shit when I bawt it.
Anyways, by the time I got goin an got to my new favrit spot, there was two other guys there allreddy. I like to work by myself, you no, so i jest kep on chugin along lookin for a new spot. Onley I didn’t find a good won all day. Shit, I wound up with bearly anuf clams to pay for my gas.

Fri., Sept. 25 Another tuff day. If i dont find me a nice new bed a softees soon I’m gonna hafta quit this bizness an get a job. I got a frend name Stanley and he maken good mony as a mate, i cud do that to onley you need to have a Highschool daploma to take the test. Anyways I aint shure i wanna take orders from no-body els. I like workin for me. I’m in bizness for my-self. I gess I’ll stick it out for the rest a the year anyways an then see. Its cold as a wiches tit in the Winter but i like it best then, your reely alone out on the river, no goddam clouns racin around, no water-skirs, no goddam sale-boats. Thats it for tonite, I’m to dam tird.

Sat., Sept. 26 “Well, its reely Sunday mornin but you said i cud do that”. I met Peggy again, she shure is a gnock-out. She came with anuther chik but stayd with me all night, i mean for as long as i was at the Bar. We danst an i skweezed her ass reel good a few times an she liked it, atlease she didn’t stop me. I walked her home an kist her good-nite. She sed i cudda come in cep her old man was home, maybe next time. I told her she cud come over my trailer if she liked. Its a nice little place up on the hill, nice an quite, corse it aint mine, i jest pay rent, but sum-day I’m gonna own my own dubble-wide. I got a reel nice vuew a north cape bay an on a cleer day you can see N.Y. I think I’d like having a wumen like Peggy livin here with me.

Mon., Sept. 28 Sorry, but i jest didn’t have a chance to write any-thing yesterday and i gotto be up and diging fore the sun comes up. Well, Peggy come over Sunday night an wached the Mets game on TV with me an cooked us a cupel a cheezebergers. They was better than MACdonalds or Berger-Kings, reel nice an jussy an the cheeze was all melted, she even tosted the roles. I didn’t no she was such a good cook, my Mom never cud cook werth a dam. Anyways, then we put on sum tapes and danst sum an had a few beers. Fore you no it we was in bed with our clothes off an i aint gonna write down no more about it, cep that it was the best i done ever had.

Tuesday, Sept. 29 You can reed reel quick, Miss. Klinger. I dont no how you red all them jernels wile we was working on them word problems. I wached you wiles you was reeding mine and I saw you smiling. Now if you was jest smiling cuz you though sum-thing I wrote was kinda funny, then thats OK, but if you was laffing at me cuz you think you’re better then me then it aint. The thing thats going thru my mind is that I though you was diffrent then teachers I had back in Highschool, but maybe I was rong. Anyways, I aint here for no college course, I jest want my GED. I’m a little pist-off so I aint gonna write no more tonite.

Wed., Sept. 30 I red over what I wrote last night and I take back what I put about you. I was thinking those things, tho, and you said we shud put down whatever we was thinking but now I aint. I think you’re O.K. What els I been thinking today is about Peggy. She sorta moved in with me and she’s reel nice and all, but well I aint sure I like it. The thing is its waring me out. I mean I gotto get up around 4;30 or 5;00 a-clock ever morning. So I usta jest have me a beer around 9;00 at nite and then go to bed. But Peggy she work’s as a waitrus at this place called the Admirl Ben-Bo, it’s a reel hi-class place, and she dont get home till after mid-nite. So she wake’s me up and we have a beer so she can kinda unwind and then she come’s to bed and we screw and then I cant get back to sleep. I been dragging my ass ever-day this week and I don’t no how long I can keep it up. I didn’t mean that dirty, maybe I did.

Thurs., Oct. 1 Now that you done went over them rules with me I gess I can spell a little better, anyway I’ll try and get em rite. I don’t like it when peepel make fun a me cuz they think I’m dum. Shit, I’m jest as smart as anybody els, you onley gotto tell me sum-thing wonce and I know it. I jest never liked school, it was to dam boring. I liked playing basket-ball cuz I was dam good and nobody cud stop me. The coach he was alright cuz he passed me in Histry even tho I didn’t hardly ever go to class. But all the chiks went crazy over me. This won stuk-up bich espeshly, she was the A-number 1 student in the hole school and I got her to go down for me and I got her pregnent. She was a reel Miss. Smarty-pants, you know the kind? I’ll say one thing, she was the best looking broad in the school, she looked like a goddam moovy-star. But she cudn’t screw werth a dam. Compaired to Peggy it was like screwing a goddam corpse. Oh, I gess she cuda learned if weeda stayed together, but after she got pregnent she didn’t wanna see me again. That was O.K. with me, onley I’d kinda like to see my own kid. Caralin (I don’t give any last names) had it last November, so next month my little girl is gonna be a hole year old. May-be I’ll go see her then. And may-be I’ll give that Caralin sum-thing to remember me by. Yea, how’s that for a great idea? Let’s see if I can get it into words. I’d like to have intercorse with the mother of my daughter again, to see if she learned how to do it rite yet. What I’d reely like to do is slap her stuk-up face or smak her on her ass. I mean who the hell dose she think she is, I wuda maried her, I gess I ain’t good anuf for her tho, goddam rich bich.

Fri., Oct. 2 When you’re all by yourself digging clams for twelve hours you got a lotta time to think about things. I been thinking all day long about what I wrote last night and you know what, I don’t even know my own kid’s name. Now that ain’t right. I mean, I’m the father, I got my rights too. I wanna make shure my dauter is razed right. So I’m gonna discus it with Peggy to- moroh. That’s all for tonite. I gotto get sum sleep.

Sun., Oct. 4 (A.M.) Well Peggy shure was suprized when I told her about my dauter. She remembered Caralin getting pregnent but didn’t know I was the father. She said Caralin never told no-won who the father was, I gess she was shamed of me. I never told no-won eether cuz I felt kinda sorry for her, I mean I thought I was being reel nice about it, her being such a reel Miss. Goody-goody. I cud’ve bragged to ever-body about getting her in trubbel but I didn’t think it was right but now I’m reely pist. Well anyways, Peggy agrees with me that I oughta have sum say in razing her, my dauter I mean, and Peggy says her name is Lisa, she ran into Caralin in a store or sum-place a cuppel months ago.
Well when we was dansing last nite at the Seaside Nashville I cudn’t stop thinking about Lisa, my dauter. Peggy she says I’m getting obsest but I can’t help it, I wanna get her sum-thing for her birth-day, like maybe a doll or sum-thing. Anyways, we got to talking and Peggy says she gonna go back with her old man during the week and stay with me on weekends. He got sum kinda dizeze and he don’t eat rite less she feeds him, that’s O.K. with me, like I said, it’s waring me out.

Sun., Oct. 4 (P.M.) It started raning so we staid in bed mosta the after-noon, it was reel nice. Then Peggy made us sum clam chouder that was reel good. It’s kinda funny me being a clamer and all, I never eat clams much. Fact, I ain’t ate none since a friend a mine got hapa-titus. Well, he ain’t a friend exakly, he’s jest won a the other clamers, but he was outa work for more then a month and he can’t eat no more clams the rest of his life. Anyways, Peggy made this here chouder onley she put milk in it sted of tomatoe juse and it was good, I didn’t think it wud be. She shure is a good cook, she wants to open up her own restrant, she says we cud do it together but I don’t know. Maybe I could jest catch the fish and dig the clams and she cud run the place. You know, I jest now though of that and it’s maybe not a bad idea. I’m gonna be thinking about it all week so when Peggy comes back on Friday nite (she jest left fore I started writing this) we can discuss it.

Mon., Oct. 5 Well I slep pretty good last nite counta there wasn’t no-body to wake me up, so I felt a hole lot better working all day. It’s a good thing cuz I found me another mess of softees like I ain’t never seen nothing like it before. I mean ever-time I stuck my rake in I come up with a dozen, big wons to. I got me fourty goddam bushels fore I was thru. Ain’t no way I’m gonna quit digging long as I can make this kinda mony. Man I’m so goddam tired tonite I’m gonna go to bed at 8;00 a-clock.
Well I went to bed at 8;00 a-clock and I fell asleep right away but then I woke up round 8-30 thinking about how sexy Peggy was and how much I miss her, I can’t get back to sleep no-way.

Tues., Oct. 6 That Ms. Klinger knows how to explain spelling and grammar rules reel good, but she sure don’t know much about people. I better explain that cause she’s probly gonna reed this and I don’t want her to be insulted. The thing is if any-body down at the Seaside Nashville found out I was even taking this here GED course, I culdn’t never show my face in there again. Hell, even Peggy don’t know where I go on Tuesday and Thursday nights, and she ain’t gonna know neether. Besides, I ain’t got no tranzpertashen since I toteled my car last July. I can get to that there extention center by bus but I ain’t taking no bus all the way out to the goddam College campus, not me.

Wed., Oct. 7 I think I better explain myself sum-more. There are two kinds of people in Waterwitch. The kind that go to college and the kind that don’t. The kind that go to college are rich and they all got new cars and hafe of them own boats. They all work in N.Y. and camute on the fairy-boat. And they live in those fansy new condos on the waterfront and up on top of the mountain. Like Caralin, you shuld see the place she lives at with their own privet dock for her old man’s speed-boat and her sale-boat. She got this big room all to herself and she even got her own privet bath-room with a goddam wirl-pool. Her parents got a duble-size one to, only their divorsed. Me and her used it one after-noon but I didn’t reely like it. Seemed sorta un-nachrel to me a guy and a girl taking a bath to-gether. Anyways, she put a hole mess of bubbels in and ruened it.
I sorta got off the subject there. What I was saying was that there are two kinds of people in my town. One kind is the rich ones like Caralin and the other kind is like me and Peggy, we don’t own diddely-squat. Corse I own my boat and moter but that’s how I earn my living. I get reel pissed-off when I see sum kid racing around the river with a fansy boat and moter his old man probly bawt for him to play with wile I jest got this old piece of shit that hafe the time don’t even start in the morning.

Thursday, Oct. 8 One time last summer I was digging near sum rich guy’s dock way up the river and he came out and tried to chace me away, said I was on his property. Well shit I got me a lisense says I can dig rite up to the goddam low tide line, I don’t need no-body’s speshel permishen, but he yelled and screemed at me like I was sum-kind of dog. One day next week it was so fogy you culd slise it with a nife and I shut off my moter going passed his place and jest drifted right up to his dock and cut the lines that was holding his big fansy speed-boat and it jest drifted away. Rich son of a bich better show more respect.

Fri., Oct. 9 Peggy left me a note saying she gotto work until 1:00 a.m. so I’m gonna do my journal and then try to catch a few hours sleep. It rained like hell all day and it was goddam cold. Hafe the clamers didn’t even go out but I dug over thirty bushels. Shure wud be nice rite now to have Peggy give me a rub-down, I ake all over. I wish it wuld only rain on Saturdays and Sundays when I can stay in bed all day. That’s dum I know but I can’t think of nothing else tonight.

Sat., Oct. 10 Peggy was acting kind of funny when she come in last night so I talked to her real nice and finely got it out. Seems that Caralin came into the restrant with sum guy. They didn’t sit at one of Peggy’s tables so she didn’t have to wait on them but she followed her into the Ladies Room to have a talk. She told her I wanted to see my dauter and Caralin said fine, I could come over any-time I want. But I can tell that Peggy’s jelus now cause she thinks it’s really Caralin I want to see and not Lisa, but that ain’t true. Well, like I said I’d kind of like to see her again jest to see how she’s making out but that’s all, I mean I don’t even want to mess around with her. In fact seeing how she right away said I could see the kid and she was so nice to Peggy and all I ain’t even pissed off at her any-more. So I want to go see her tomorrow but Peggy don’t want me to go without her and she gotto work.

Sun., Oct. 11 Well I took Peggy out to the Seaside Nashville last night but sum guy she useto go out with was there and he had too much to drink and said sum-thing dirty to her and I had to pop him. I busted his nose good and he went out and got sum friends and then before you know it evry-body was fighting and sum-body called the cops. We just about got out the back door before they come in. Anyway Peggy was mad as hell at me, she said she culd’ve handled the guy in a nice way, but I thought I done the right thing. A man’s suppose to proteck a wumen.

Mon., Oct. 12 The goddam state inspekters don’t have to work on Culumbus Day so I couldn’t work either. But those basterds get paid and I don’t. So Peggy and I went to see my dauter. She’s real big for being not quiet a year old, corse Carolyn’s around five-ten and I’m six-five. But I’m real confused, I can’t figure out whether to be pissed or not. The thing is I saw Carolyn’s name on the Birth Certificate, so now I know how to spell it, but my name’s not on it, it says (father unidentified). I mean, she gave my kid her own last name instead of mine. She said she did it to protect me cause she didn’t think I wanted the expense or responsability of a baby and she said she never blamed it on me. But I don’t know, it don’t seem right sum-how. But Carolyn was real nice and sweet to me and to Peggy too. She lives by herself cause her parents got back together and moved up around Boston where her old man has his own business, sum-thing to do with computers. She’s going to Lenape County College, I almost told her I was going there too but then I remembered Peggy don’t know that so I kept quite. Anyway, I ain’t really going to college, we been through that before.

Tues., Oct. 13 Well I thought about it all day wile I was out digging clams in the goddam rain and I jest about desided that Carolyn was telling the truth. I mean she was only seventeen and I was alreddy eighteen so she culd’ve put me in jail if she wanted, espeshly with her old man’s mony and connexions backing her up. So I gess she was dam nice to me. But I think I want to have that Birth Certificate changed to have me listed proper as the father. I gotto talk to her again about it.

Wed., Oct. 14 Peggy come by last night cause she didn’t hafto work, she gotto work on Saturday insted cause she’s cooking now stead of waitrusing which means we can’t go to the Seaside Nashville. But that’s okay I gess, I mean I better not show my face around thier for awile. One of the other clamers told me the guy who I busted his nose has got a cuppel buddies with him evry night looking for me. I ain’t afraid of nobody but Peggy she don’t want me fighting and I dout if Carolyn would change that Birth Certificate if she heard I was in any kind of trubble. Shit, wimmen can sure ty down a guy.

Thursday, Oct., 15 Well it was a real beutaful day today, the sun was bright and the air was warm and there was these normus white clouds in the sky so Peggy she come out in the boat with me all day and we had us a long talk. You know, it’s nice having a wumen like that to look at wile you’re working, she’s so pretty it makes me jest want to kiss her. Corse I only dug about a dozen bushels. Anyway we talked about the fucher and all, and she says she really wants to have her own restrant sum-day. It’s gonna be called (Potluck Peggy’s) and she’s gonna cook all kinds of fish and clams and stuff she can get right around here. She told me she got $5000 in the bank to get started. That suprized the hell out of me, I don’t know how she got all that mony when she’s only my age. But I don’t know, I mean $5000 ain’t a hell of a lot of mony when it comes to starting a restrant. She says we oughtto do it together, but I told her to forget about me, I only got about 2 grand in the bank and I gonna need a new moter pretty soon.
Anyway Peggy was working from 5:00 to 1:00 so she was gonna go back to her old man’s place tonight so I went to class like I always do on Thursdays and I got to thinking I might tell her about those restrant management classes Ms. Klinger told me about, so I asked her and she gave me a brosure that tells all about them. Corse I don’t know if Peggy would want to spend her mony on jest taking corses, she allreddy knows how to cook real good.
Ms. Klinger also taught us some more spelling rules, I think I got taught, thought, and though and a coupel other of them ou and au words right now. I’d like to write more about her but she reeds this. But she’s a dam good teacher and that ain’t no brown-nosing, neether, that’s the truth.

Fri., Oct. 16 Well I busted my ass today and made more mony then I made the rest of the week. I gotto start saving up for another car, I’m getting tired of not being able to go no-where less I can walk and I hate waiting for the goddam bus. Peggy she gonna need a car too if she decides to take those courses over at the college. I thought some more about Lisa and decided I’d like to speak to Carolyn again. About that Birth certificate I mean. Maybe I can get Peggy to go over with me tomorrow or Sunday.

Sat., Oct. 17 Goddam it, wimmen can be a pain in the ass, sorry Ms. Klinger if you took that rong. I mean I gave Peggy that brosure about them restaurant courses and she got real pissed, she says I jest think she’s stupid cause I’m always compairing her to Carolyn and she’s going to college. But that’s not it at all, I just thought she might want to go. But that’s o.k. if she don’t want to waste her mony on no college course, they can’t teach you nothing in college anyway about running no restaurant. But then when I told her I was taking this here GED course, she got so mad she started crying. I should’ve smacked her good but insted I went and started feeling sorry for her, I think she’s really jellous. She told me she had some good news but she wouldn’t tell me about it until she got home from work, if I wanted to here about it I’d hafta wait up.

Sun., Oct. 18 Well today was even worst than yesterday. I guess I drunk a sixpak and fell asleep last night before Peggy got back and she said she couldn’t wake me up. She called me a (drunk) and made me feel bad. Anyway, we made up and then she told me her good news. The wumen who owns the Admirl Ben-Bo has made her a reglar full-time cook and put her in charge of soup. Well it don’t sound like no big deal to me but she was so proud I didn’t let on, I just smiled and said that was great. Now I didn’t know this but the wumen’s son is a guy we went to school with, a guy named Jim, and he told Peggy how much his Mom likes her and how she might offer her a part intrest in the place if she works out good. Now this guy Jim was a real jerk who was in the fukkin boyscouts for Chrissake, he’s another one of them rich guys that don’t gotto work for nothing. But he hates the restrant business so his Mom’s allways on the look-out for somebody to take over when she retires. Peggy says Jim works as afternoon manager but he’s studing computer repair at some night school.
So then I ax Peggy to go see Lisa and Carolyn with me, and she blew up again. She said Lisa’s probly not even my daughter cause Carolyn was screwing around with the hole basket-ball team and that’s when I finely smacked her right across her big mouth.
But even that didn’t shut her up, she just kept yelling at me and cussing me out and then she ran out. I ain’t seen her all day.

Mon., Oct. 19 I worked twelve fukkin hours today in the goddam rain and I ain’t never felt so bad in my life. I feel bad about hitting Peggy, I mean she deserved it for what she said but she’s so tiny and I’m so strong I could’ve busted her jaw or something. But I feel bad about Lisa too. I mean, suppose Peggy’s right and I ain’t the father, all this time I thought I had a daughter and now maybe I don’t. But Carolyn was so sweet and I don’t see how she could’ve been screwing around with anybody else, I mean she was with me practicly all the time when she wasn’t in school. I just don’t know.

Tues., Oct. 20 That dam north-east wind was so cold today that I almost froze my goonies off. And I was feeling so bad that I felt like crying. I cut class tonight cause I couldn’t stand Ms. Klinger reeding what I wrote here this week. I still don’t know weather I’m pissed-off most at Peggy, Carolyn, or myself. I don’t know what to do.

Wed., Oct. 21 What I done was go out to this new bar on Water St. called the Pair-a-Dice. They don’t have no gambling atleast not legal like in Atlantic City but they have some great go-go dancers that really put on a show. And next summer they’re gonna have a bakini contest evry Friday and a wet tee-shirt contest evry Saturday. Now that’s a real classy place, better than the Seaside Nashville. I was getting sick of that twangy old cuntry music anyway.

Thursday, Oct. 22 Well, that’s what I did Tuesday night insted of going to school and I went again tonight and met this nice looking broad with great tits that’s supposed to come over to my place on Friday night.

Fri., Oct. 23 Busted my ass again and fell asleep around 8:00. Don’t even know if the broad showed up. Screw her!

Sat., Oct. 24 Peggy come by this afternoon and was real nice. She says she ain’t sure weather what she said about Carolyn is true but that all the girls in school thought it was true. She says if I love Carolyn more then her she won’t try to stop me and she won’t say nothing more bad about her. I thought that was real genrus of her, not many wimmen would say such a thing and mean it.
Peggy’s working five to one evry night but Monday and Tuesday. She’s making ten bucks an hour, but she don’t get no tips no more now that she’s hed soup cook. Mrs. Hawkins, that’s the lady that owns the restaurant, she’s gonna pay Peggy’s tuishen at Lenape County College so she can take those management courses. So she’s gonna keep saving as much mony as she can and I said I’d help her as soon as I save up enough for a car and a new moter.

Sun., Oct 25 I ran into my buddy Stanley at the Pair-a-Dice last night and he says he’s doing real good. He says I should try for my mate’s lisense soon’s as I pass my GED test. By then he’ll have his captain’s lisense and I can work for him for three years and get mine. He says we could go partners on a little party boat he knows that’s gonna be for sale next Spring. Between the two of us he says we could make two or three trips evry day and still have some time for ourselves. Only thing is I’d need to come up with $7500 cash for my hafe of the down payment. I told him this chick living with me had a lot of mony, course I gotto talk to Peggy about it and see what she thinks.

Mon., Oct. 26 Peggy come over again and said she’s stay the night if I liked and course I said I would. Lucky I stopped and bought a six-pak. She wanted me to try some new dish she was working on all day so I did and it was real tastey. I ain’t never had nothing like it before but she didn’t wan to tell me what it was at first. Then she did, it was raw fish. Course it was all mixed up with hot peppers and lemon juice and it didn’t hardly taste like fish but it was still raw fish. Shit I told her I didn’t think people would spend good mony on it, I mean it ain’t like it was raw clams or oysters and she started to get pissed. I could tell it wasn’t the right time to bring up the mony for the party boat so I just acted sweet as I could for the rest of the night and we had us a good time.

Tues., Oct. 27 Let me take care of class tonight first. Ms. Klinger gave us a practise GED test and it was real hard. There was all kinds of reeding questions but nothing about spelling or grammer, I don’t think she’s been teaching us the right stuff. She says we’re gonna have to spend the rest of the course doing reeding questions but we still gotto keep writing in our journals, that don’t make no sense to me.
When I got home Peggy was waiting for me and being real sweet so I told her about what Stanley said about buying the party boat. She said she didn’t know Stanley but she didn’t think I oughtto trust him right off. She said anyway wasn’t I saving up for a car and I said yea but it’s more important to get a real bizness started and she said she alreddy was started and didn’t need none of my mony if I wanted to do something else with it. I could tell she was getting pissed again cause her freckles started getting real dark so I decided to cool it.

Wed., Oct 28 When I got home there was no note from Peggy but I could see that she had moved all her clothes and cooking stuff out and cleened the place all up. She must’ve gone to the laundramat cause all my clothes was folded up and put away real neat. She’s a sweet girl but kind of hard to figure sometimes.
Stanley come by to find out how I made out but I just told him I was working on it. Then he said he’d have to know pretty soon cause there’s this other guy he might be able to get to go in with him if I can’t. That kind of pissed me off a little cause he didn’t say nothing about it the other night.

Thurs., Oct 29 Today I got this great idea about borrowing the mony from Carolyn, she’s loaded and I know she’d like me to make something out of myself, then she could brag about me to her folks. I just gotto figure out a way to ask her right. I don’t want her to think I’m begging for any bones. I can’t just barje in on her, maybe I’ll write her and ask her to meet me at the Pair-a-Dice for a bizness proposition.
Good thing Ms. Klinger checked our journals tonight and corrected my spelling, I wouldn’t want to look stupid on paper.

Fri., Oct. 30 Well I stuck a note in Carolyn’s mailbox this morning before I went out and asked her to pleaze meet me on (business) at the Pair-a-Dice tonight, tomorrow, or Sunday between eight and ten. I waited till almost eleven tonight and she didn’t show. Too bad, I was hoping to get it settled before I have to face Peggy again tomorrow.

Sat., Oct. 31 Peggy didn’t show up all morning so I walked on over to her place in the afternoon. Her old man told me to stay away from his daughter but I told the old fart I do what I want. Jeez, I felt like telling him to fuk off, but I didn’t know he was so goddam old, he must be over seventy. Somehow he’s fat and scrawny at the same time like he ain’t done nothing but eat and drink for ten years. The hole time I was there he was sipping on a glass of some kind of wine and sucking on some pretzels. He ain’t got no teeth and his face is all red and splotchy-like. If I ever wind up looking like that I think I’d kill myself first.
It turned out to be a pretty lousy day cause Carolyn didn’t show up either. So I had about a hafe dozen beers and went home by myself wondering why life is so shity sometimes. When I got there thier was red paint sprayed all over my trailer, it said (FUCK YOU) right on my fukking front door. Then I remembered it was Hollawene. Goddam kids!

Sun., Nov. 1 Well Carolyn come by the Bar tonight and said she had to work on Friday and Saturday which I find kind of suspicious being she’s so rich. But she heard me out and said it was a good idea only she didn’t really have any mony, she was borrowing from her parents to suport herself and Lisa and get herself through college and wants to pay them back soon as she gets a good job. I didn’t know weather to believe her or not but she was so goddam friendly and you should have seen all those guys in the bar staring at me sitting there with this gorjes chick that I couldn’t just call her a liar to her face. So we shook hands and she told me she thought Peggy was a lovely person and wished us the best.

Mon., Nov. 2 Peggy came by to say she don’t think we should see each other for awile, she says she’s too busy and that I ain’t showing enough intrest in her. I ax her what she means and she says all I talk about is myself and my car and my new moter and now the party boat I want to buy with Stanley. I said that ain’t fair cause I’m just trying to get established. Well we went on like that for awile and then the truth come out. She didn’t say it this way exackly but I ain’t stupid, I can figure out what’s going on. She’s been pretending to get real sweet with that Jim Hawkins trying to get on his Mom’s good side, that’s what it’s all about. So I told her she don’t owe me nothing, she can clear out of my life if that’s what she wants. I don’t need her one goddam little bit. So she run out crying and I don’t give a shit.

Tues., Nov. 3 Wimmen are all alike, all they want is mony. I been about as nice to Peggy as a guy could be and she turns on me, she throws me over for a fukkin piss-ass little jerk-off just cause his old lady owns a goddam fancy restaurant. Red-headed bitch better stay the hell away from me, I smacked her once and I’ll smack her again. No, I won’t. I cut school again tonight.

Wed., Nov. 4 Stanley was waiting for me at the de-purashen plant when I finished today, he says he’s got to know by Saturday if I can get the mony. I told him to forget it, I’d rather just dig clams anyway, too much troubel worrying about a big boat and satisfying the custumers all the time. Me, I just gotto dig my clams and bring them in to the plant, that’s all, no partners to worry about. But Stanley he don’t give up that easy and he said he wants to meet Peggy and just talk to her so I thought what the hell, it can’t do no harm. So we walked on over to the Admiral Benbow (I checked the spelling on the sine out front) and went over to a door where some guy was puting out the garbage and we stepped right into the kichen and thier was Peggy standing over one of them big stainless steel gas ranges stirring about six diffrent pots at once and shouting orders at two guys that looked like dishwashers and a coupel waitruses. Well I was impressed. She seen us and said we couldn’t stay their but I spoke real sweet to her and said (pleaze) and before you know it she agreed to meet us out on the dock soon as she could take a brake. So we went out there and waited for a hafe hour before she came out. But she didn’t like Stanley’s stile, I could tell that, he thinks he’s real smoothe with the girls but he sounded fonier than a pecker on a clam to me. So what it all comes down to is she don’t want nothing to do with the party boat idea, she’s gonna save her mony to buy up an intrest in the restaurant, I can’t really blame her, I said, and then she ax real nice if she could come over after work and spend the night with me. Stanley he about shit in his pants cause I guess he didn’t believe a wumen cute as Peggy would care anything at all about a big mean looking basterd like me.

Thursday, Nov. 5. Well I dragged my tired ass around the river all day today cause me and Peggy stayed up so late talking last night. She finally told me what’s really been bugging her. She was scared that if she ever got pregnant, I’d skip out just like I skipped out on Carolyn. I told her I wouldn’t do that to her, if she gets pregnant, we’ll get married. Besides, I started sending Carolyn some money to help out with Lisa cause I just found out she was supporting the kid all by herself. Well that really made Peggy turn sweet and sexy again. She ax me if I’d marry her someday even if she wasn’t pregnant. I said yes so now we’re engaged.

Dear Ms. Klinger;
I won’t be in class no-more cause next week I start washing dishes four nights a week at the Admiral Benbow. I really need the money. I’m leaving my journal on your desk so you can see how evrything turned out with Peggy. Thanks for teaching me how to spell and do word problems. If I fail my GED I’ll come back next year and hope I get you again.

Your favrit (ha-ha) student,
Tim the Clammer

Creation Problems

Few topics in recent history have generated more controversy than the question of how the earth and its environs were created. For years two major positions —Evolution and Creationism— have been locked in an on-going struggle for influence in the schools, the media, and elsewhere without a chance of immediate victory for either.
I will not enter the fray directly because the issue involves a tremendous amount of technical information lying outside the Bible per se. Creationism is, for all practical purposes, an assault upon the integrity of nearly every physical science and in order to cope effectively with such organizations as the Institute for Creation Research one would have to become quite knowledgeable with respect to geology, paleontology, anthropology, astronomy, biology, archeology, physics, chemistry, and other physical sciences.
Few individuals on either side are sufficiently informed to conduct an impressive presentation. Nevertheless, some general points of disagreement between evolutionists and creationists are worthy of note and can be discussed with confidence.
Creationists obtain their philosophy from biblical accounts related in the book of Genesis and refer to it as “Scientific Creationism.” But if their position is as scientific as alleged, then why does it clash with science on so many points. Prominent examples are the following: (1) “And God said, Let there be light” (Gen. 1:3) and “...And the evening and the morning were the first day” (Gen. 1:5) versus “And God said, ‘Let there be light in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night.... ‘ “And God made two lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.... And the evening and morning were the fourth day” (Gen. 1:14-19). (a) God created light on the first day; yet, there were no moon, sun or stars until the fourth day; (b) how could it be known when the first three days ended if there was no sun until the fourth day?; and (c) How could morning be distinguished from evening, if the sun and the moon were yet to be created? (2) “And God said,’Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind.... And the evening and the morning were the third day” (Gen. 1:11-13) versus “And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night; he made the stars also” (Gen. 1:16) and “the evening and the morning were the fourth day” (Gen. 1:19).
Vegetation was created on the third day; yet there was no sun for the photosynthesis until the fourth day. (3) “ In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth” (Gen. 1:1) and”... the evening and the morning were the first day” (Gen.1:5) versus “And God made two great lights; and the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night; he made the stars also” (Gen. 1:16) and the evening and the morning were the fourth day” (Gen. 1:19). (a) According to biblical “science” the earth was created 3 days before the sun, the moon and the stars; (b) Scientists say there are many stars whose light takes millions of years to reach the earth. How, then, could they be 6,000 to 8,000 years old as many Christians allege? (4) “And God said, ‘Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind...’ And the evening and the morning were the third day” (Gen. 1:11-13) versus “And God said, ‘Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life... And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly.... And the evening and the morning were the fifth day” (Gen.1:20-23). Genesis says that life existed first on the land as plants and later the seas teemed with living creatures. Geological science says that the sea teemed with animals and vegetable life long before life appeared on land. (5) “ So God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, with which the waters swarm, according to their kinds,and every winged bird according to its kind.... And there was evening and there was morning, a fifth day” (Gen. 1:21-23 RSV).
Geological science says fishes appeared long before the birds. They were not created during the same day or period. (6) “And God created...every winged fowl after his kind....” (Gen. 1-21) and “And the evening and the morning were the fifth day” (Gen. 1:23) versus “And God made the beast of the earth... and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind....” (Gen. 1-25) and “...and the evening and the morning were the sixth day” (Gen. 1:31). Science says creeping reptiles appeared on the earth before the fowl, not afterwards. (7) “And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, the beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so. And God made...every thing that creepth upon the earth after his kind....” (Gen. 1:24-25).
Science contends that reptiles were created long before mammals not simultaneously. While reptiles existed in the Carboniferous Age, mammals did not appear until the close of the Reptilian Age. (8) “And God said, ‘Let the water bring worth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven” (Gen. 1:20). Birds did not emerge from water. (9) “So God created man in his own image,...male and female created he them” (Gen. 1:27) and “the evening and the morning were the sixth day” (Gen. 1:31).
If Adam was created on the 6th day approximately 6,000 years ago (Bishop Usher’s calculations), then nobody lived before 4,000 B.C. Prehistoric men would be fictitious. By tracing the genealogy of Jesus back 77 generations to Adam, the third chapter of Luke also supports belief in a very young earth. If each man had lived approximately 100 years, then the world would be no more than 9,694 (7,700 + 1994) years old. If each of Jesus’ ancestors had lived to be 1,000 years old (an age not even reached by Methuselah), the earth would still be only 78,994 (77,000 + 1994) years old according to creationists. (10) “And to every beast of the earth, and every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so” (Gen. 1:30). Carnivorous beasts and fowl do not eat green herbs. (11) “And God saw everything that he had made....” (Gen. 1:31) and “on the seventh day God ended his work” (Gen. 2:2). Scientifically speaking, unless God had male organs or attributes, it is difficult to see how God could be masculine. (12) “And out of the ground the Lord formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and bought them to Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof” (Gen. 2:19). Environmentally speaking, how could every living creature be bought to any spot in the Middle East or elsewhere without many animals dying because of climatic changes and other factors. Unless divine intervention takes place and that concept removes it from scientific consideration, as it can never be falsified or tested. (13) “And Lord God said unto the serpent, ‘Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt eat all the days of thy life’...” (Gen. 3:14). If the serpent was a snake, snake-like, or reptilian in character and condemned to crawl upon its belly, how did it move before? And does science know of any serpent that eats dust?
In order to extricate themselves from the problems associated with a six-day creation approximately 6,000 years ago, many apologists assert that each day represents an age or era encompassing millions of years. In other words, literal days composed of 24 hours each were not intended. Their belief, however, is erroneous for several reasons: (1) The word translated as “day” is “yom” in the Hebrew which means a definite 24-hour period from sunset to sunset; (2) Starting evening and then morning shows a 24-hour period was intended. This was how Jews computed a day; (3) If a day is an era, why are an evening and a morning even mentioned?; (4) Actual days must be intended; otherwise, men who lived hundreds of years, e.g., Seth and Noah, would really have lived millions of years. If a day is an era then a year must be tremendously long, perhaps encompassing hundreds of millions of years; (5) If a day is an era, then much of the Old Testament becomes chaotic. For example, in each of the following verses the same Hebrew word “yom” is employed: “And the flood was forty days upon the earth” (Gen. 7:17), “And he (Moses) was there with the Lord forty days and forty nights” (Ex. 34:28), and “Thus I fell down before the Lord forty days and forty nights...” (Deut. 9:25). If “yom” means era instead of a 24-hour period, Moses was “there with the Lord” for a very long time. (6) If a day means more than 24-hour period then how are we to interpret the following verses, as well as scores of other. “Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath.... in it thou shalt not work.... For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth...and rested the seventh day” (Ex. 20:9-11).
(7) Gen. 1:16 (“And God made two great lights: The greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night”) states the sun rules the day and the moon rules the night. This obviously is referring to time as we know it—time with days that are 24 hours long with daylight ruling have of each. (8) And lastly, Adam was made on the sixth day (Gen. 1:26, 31) which was supposedly thousand of years long. This was followed by the 7th day which was also thousands of years long. Following the 7th day Adam fell into sin was expelled from the Garden. This would mean Adam lived thousands of years which is false since he died at age 930 (Gen. 5:5).

Two Creation Stories

There are actually two creation stories, the first beginning with Gen. 1:1 and concluding with Gen. 2:3, the second beginning at Gen. 2:4 and concluding the chapter. These are note worthy in that they not only disagree with one another in numerous instances, but are internally plagued as well. Many examples of the former can be given. (1) “And God made the beast of the earth” (Gen. 1:25) and “So God created man in his own image” (Gen. 1:27) versus “God formed man of the dust of the ground” (Gen. 2:7) and “God formed every beast of the field and every fowl of the air, and brought them unto Adam”(Gen. 2:19). According to the 1st account man was created after the beasts. According to the 2nd he was created before them. In the latter instance, he had to have been created before the other beasts; otherwise, how could they have been brought to him. (2) “And God created...every winged fowl” (Gen. 1:21) and “So God created man in his own image” (Gen. 1:27) versus “God formed man of the dust of the ground” (Gen. 2:7) and “...God formed...every fowl of the air (Gen. 2:19).
In the 1st creation God made the fowl, then man. In the 2nd he made man then the fowl. (3) “And the earth brought forth...the tree yielding fruit...the third day” (Gen. 1:12-13) and “God created man in his own image...the sixth day” (Gen.1:27, 31) versus “God formed man of the dust of the ground” (Gen. 2:7) and “Out of the ground made the Lord God to grow every tree that is...good for food...” (Gen. 2:9). In the 1st creation God made the fruit trees on the third day and created man three days later. In the 2nd creation God made man before the fruit trees. (4) “And God said, ‘Let the waters bring forth abundantly...fowl that may fly...” (Gen. 1:20) versus “And out of the ground the Lord God formed every...fowl of the air...” (Gen. 2:19). According to the 1st creation all winged fowl were created out of the waters. Yet, the 2nd account says that every fowl of the air was created out of the ground. (5) “And God created...every winged fowl...the fifth day” (Gen. 1:21, 23) and God made the beast of the earth...the sixth day” (Gen. 1:25, 31) versus “And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every fowl of the air...” (Gen. 2:19). According to the 1st creation fowl were created on the 5th day and beast on the 6th. Under the 2nd creation, fowl and beast were created at the same time; they formed one creative act. (6) “And God said, ‘behold, I have given you...every tree, in which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat’” (Gen. 1:29 versus “...of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it” (Gen. 2:17).
In the first creation Adam may eat from any fruit tree; while in the second he may not eat the fruit of all trees. (7) “So God created man in his own image” (Gen. 1:27) versus “For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil” (Gen. 3:5) and “the Lord God said, Behold, the man is become one of us, to know good and evil’” (Gen. 3:22). In the 1st creation man is made in the image of God; in the second, likeness is acquired by learning of good and evil. (8) “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created him; male and female created he them” (Gen. 1:27) versus “...but for Adam there was not found a help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept: and he took one of his ribs...and the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman” (Gen. 2:20-22). In the first creation man and woman appeared on earth together; in the second, man came first and later his rib was taken to make a woman.
(9) “And the earth was without form, and void.... And the spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters” (Gen. 1:2 and “God said, ‘Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear’: and it was so. And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas...” (Gen. 1:9-10) versus “...in the day that the Lord God made the earth...for the Lord God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was not to till the ground. But there went up a mist from the earth and watered the whole face of the ground” (Gen. 2:4-6). In the 1st creation the earth, when created, was covered with water and the land did not appear until the 3rd day. In the 2nd creation there was no water at first; the earth was dry land. (10) “And God said, ‘Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind...upon the earth...” (Gen. 1:11) versus “...in the day that the Lord God made the earth and the heavens, And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew...” (Gen. 2:4-5). In the First creation plants were created from the earth: they were a product of the earth. In the 2nd creation were created independent of the earth and then transferred to the earth. “Before it was in the earth” shows plants were created before they had contact with the earth.
Although not necessarily contradictory, two additional inconsistencies are noteworthy. (11) “And God blessed them, and said unto them, ‘Be fruitful, and multiply...and have dominion over...every living thing that moveth upon the earth’” (Gen. 1:28) versus “And the Lord God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress and to keep it.” (Gen. 2:15). Under the first creation God gave man and woman dominion over all things, and they were ordered to subdue the earth. Under the 2nd creation they were confined to the Garden and ordered to keep and dress it. (12) In the 1st creation account God is always called “God”; in the second he is always called “Lord God.”
Besides contradictions and inconsistencies between the accounts, there are also problems within each. With respect to the first, the following are noteworthy: (1) “And God saw the light, that is was good: and God divided the light from the darkness. And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night...the first day” (gen. 1:4-5) versus “And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heavens to divide the day from the night....’ And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night...the fourth day” (Gen. 1:14-16, 19). Why would God need to divide the day from the night on the 4th day when it was already done on the 1st day? (2) “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth...the 1st day” (Gen. 1:1, 5) versus “And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night...the 4th day” (Gen. 1:16, 19). According to science the earth was created after the sun, not before. Yet, Genesis says the sun was created three days after the earth. (3) “And the earth brought forth grass...and the tree yielding fruit...the third day” (Gen. 1:12-13 versus “And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly...the fifth day” (Gen. 1:21, 23). There are few reputable scientists who would say that the earth was covered with fruit-bearing trees before animal life appeared in the seas. (4) “And God called the firmament heaven” (Gen. 1:8) versus “...in the firmament of heaven” (Gen.1:14,17). Are heaven and the firmament identical? The phrase “firmament of the heaven” implies they are not.
(5) “And God blessed them, and said unto them, ‘Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth...’” (Gen. 1:28). “Replenish” means that men or people must have existed before Adam. (6) “And on the 7th day God ended his work...and he rested on the 7th day...” (Gen. 2:2). If God ended his work on the seventh day, then he must also have worked on the 7th day. Unless he was working on the 7th day, he could not have stopped working on the 7th day. Therefore, God worked on all seven days. He worked on the sabbath. (7) “And God saw every thing that he made, and, behold, it was very good” (Gen. 1:31). How then could evil have entered a world which was good, yea perfect, when the work of creation was completed? (8) “And God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness...So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them” (Gen. 1:26-27). Is God one or many? (9) Gen. 1:26 (“God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness’”) appears to contradict Isaiah 40:25 which says, “To whom then will ye liken me, or shall I be equal? saith the Holy One.”
The second account is also not without internal problems. For example, “But of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die” (Gen. 2:12) versus “...the serpent said unto the woman, ye shall not surely die” (Gen. 3:4) and “all the days that Adam lived were 969: and he died”(Gen. 5:5). Adam ate the forbidden fruit and did not die. The serpent told the truth and God didn’t. If a spiritual death was intended as many allege, then why wouldn’t that also be the intent of the following verses. “And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord. And Nathan said unto David, The Lord also hath put away thy sin: thou shalt not die. Howbeit because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord..., the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die” (2 Sam. 12:13-14). As the following verse shows he certainly was not referring to a spiritual death. “And it came to pass on the 7th day, that the child died” (2 Sam. 12:18).
The narrative of events in the Garden of Eden, which is introduced in the second account, is not without problems either. (1) “...she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat and gave also unto her husband with, and he did eat” (Gen. 3:6) versus “God is the Rock, his work is perfect” Deut. 32:4). If God’s work is perfect and he created Adam and Eve, then they were perfect. How, then, could they have sinned? (2) “And the serpent said unto the woman...For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil” (Gen. 3:4-5) and “the Lord God said, ‘Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil’” (Gen. 3:22). In effect, in Gen. 3:22 God is saying the serpent told the truth when he said that man would learn good and evil. But in the Book of John we are told the Devil is incapable of telling the truth. “You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him...for he is a liar and the father of lies” John 8:44 RSV). (3) “...Adam and his wife (Genesis relates no marriage) hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God...and the Lord God called unto Adam and said unto him, Where art thou?” (Gen. 3:8-9) versus “There is no darkness...where the workers of iniquity may hide themselves” (Job 34:22). Apparently, either the workers of iniquity can hide themselves or God is practicing deception.

* Douglas L. Smith complied this text from the September #22 and October #23, 1984 issues of Biblical Errancy, editor Dennis Mckinsey, all rights and credit to same. Use of material is permitted if full recognition is given to its author. C. Dennis McKinsey serves a editor for the “Biblical Errancy Newsletter” and the author of the acclaimed “The Encyclopedia of Biblical Errancy.” For information or subscription information, write or call: C. Dennis McKinsey, 3158 Sherwood Park Drive, Springfield, Ohio 45505; (513) 323-6146.

Nick DiSpoldo, Small Press Review (on "Children, Churches and Daddies," April 1997) Kuypers is the widely-published poet of particular perspectives and not a little existential rage, but she does not impose her personal or artistic agenda on her magazine. CC+D is a provocative potpourri of news stories, poetry, humor, art and the "dirty underwear" of politics. One piece in this issue is "Crazy," an interview Kuypers conducted with "Madeline," a murderess who was found insane, and is confined to West Virginia's Arronsville Correctional Center. Madeline, whose elevator definitely doesn't go to the top, killed her boyfriend during sex with an ice pick and a chef's knife, far surpassing the butchery of Elena Bobbitt. Madeline, herself covered with blood, sat beside her lover's remains for three days, talking to herself, and that is how the police found her. For effect, Kuypers publishes Madeline's monologue in different-sized type, and the result is something between a sense of Dali's surrealism and Kafka-like craziness.

Debra Purdy Kong, writer, British Columbia, Canada
I like the magazine a lot. I like the spacious lay-out and the different coloured pages and the variety of writer's styles. Too many literary magazines read as if everyone graduated from the same course. We need to collect more voices like these and send them everywhere.

Ed Hamilton, writer #85 (of children, churches and daddies) turned out well. I really enjoyed the humor section, especially the test score answers. And, the cup-holder story is hilarious. I'm not a big fan of poetry - since much of it is so hard to decipher - but I was impressed by the work here, which tends toward the straightforward and unpretentious. As for the fiction, the piece by Anderson is quite perceptive: I liked the way the self-deluding situation of the character is gradually, subtly revealed. (Kuypers') story is good too: the way it switches narrative perspective via the letter device is a nice touch.

Children, Churches and Daddies.
It speaks for itself.
Write to Scars Publications to submit poetry, prose and artwork to Children, Churches and Daddies literary magazine, or to inquire about having your own chapbook, and maybe a few reviews like these.

Jim Maddocks, GLASGOW, via the Internet I'll be totally honest, of the material in Issue (either 83 or 86 of Children, Churches and Daddies) the only ones I really took to were Kuypers'. TRYING was so simple but most truths are, aren't they?

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what is veganism?
A vegan (VEE-gun) is someone who does not consume any animal products. While vegetarians avoid flesh foods, vegans don't consume dairy or egg products, as well as animal products in clothing and other sources.

why veganism?
This cruelty-free lifestyle provides many benefits, to animals, the environment and to ourselves. The meat and dairy industry abuses billions of animals. Animal agriculture takes an enormous toll on the land. Consumtion of animal products has been linked to heart disease, colon and breast cancer, osteoporosis, diabetes and a host of other conditions.

so what is vegan action?
We can succeed in shifting agriculture away from factory farming, saving millions, or even billions of chickens, cows, pigs, sheep turkeys and other animals from cruelty.
We can free up land to restore to wilderness, pollute less water and air, reduce topsoil reosion, and prevent desertification.
We can improve the health and happiness of millions by preventing numerous occurrences od breast and prostate cancer, osteoporosis, and heart attacks, among other major health problems.

A vegan, cruelty-free lifestyle may be the most important step a person can take towards creatin a more just and compassionate society. Contact us for membership information, t-shirt sales or donations.

vegan action
po box 4353, berkeley, ca 94707-0353
510/704-4444

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C Ra McGuirt, Editor, The Penny Dreadful Review (on Children, Churches and Daddies) cc&d is obviously a labor of love ... I just have to smile when I go through it. (Janet Kuypers) uses her space and her poets to best effect, and the illos attest to her skill as a graphic artist. "I really like ("Writing Your Name"). It's one of those kind of things where your eye isn't exactly pulled along, but falls effortlessly down the poem. I liked "knowledge" for its mix of disgust and acceptance. Janet Kuypers does good little movies, by which I mean her stuff provokes moving imagery for me. Color, no dialogue; the voice of the poem is the narrator over the film.

Children, Churches and Daddies no longer distributes free contributor's copies of issues. In order to receive issues of Children, Churches and Daddies, contact Janet Kuypers at the cc&d e-mail addres. Free electronic subscriptions are available via email. All you need to do is email ccandd@aol.com... and ask to be added to the free cc+d electronic subscription mailing list. And you can still see issues every month at the Children, Churches and Daddies website, located at http://scars.tv

Also, visit our new web sites: the Art Gallery and the Poetry Page.

Mark Blickley, writer The precursor to the magazine title (Children, Churches and Daddies) is very moving. "Scars" is also an excellent prose poem. I never really thought about scars as being a form of nostalgia. But in the poem it also represents courage and warmth. I look forward to finishing her book.

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MIT Vegetarian Support Group (VSG)

functions:
* To show the MIT Food Service that there is a large community of vegetarians at MIT (and other health-conscious people) whom they are alienating with current menus, and to give positive suggestions for change.
* To exchange recipes and names of Boston area veg restaurants
* To provide a resource to people seeking communal vegetarian cooking
* To provide an option for vegetarian freshmen

We also have a discussion group for all issues related to vegetarianism, which currently has about 150 members, many of whom are outside the Boston area. The group is focusing more toward outreach and evolving from what it has been in years past. We welcome new members, as well as the opportunity to inform people about the benefits of vegetarianism, to our health, the environment, animal welfare, and a variety of other issues.

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Gary, Editor, The Road Out of Town (on the Children, Churches and Daddies Web Site) I just checked out the site. It looks great.

Dusty Dog Reviews: These poems document a very complicated internal response to the feminine side of social existence. And as the book proceeds the poems become increasingly psychologically complex and, ultimately, fascinating and genuinely rewarding.

John Sweet, writer (on chapbook designs) Visuals were awesome. They've got a nice enigmatic quality to them. Front cover reminds me of the Roman sculptures of angels from way back when. Loved the staggered tire lettering, too. Way cool. (on "Hope Chest in the Attic") Some excellent writing in "Hope Chest in the Attic." I thought "Children, Churches and Daddies" and "The Room of the Rape" were particularly powerful pieces.

C Ra McGuirt, Editor, The Penny Dreadful Review: cc&d is obviously a labor of love ... I just have to smile when I go through it. (Janet Kuypers) uses her space and her poets to best effect, and the illos attest to her skill as a graphic artist.

Cheryl Townsend, Editor, Impetus (on Children, Churches and Daddies) The new cc&d looks absolutely amazing. It's a wonderful lay-out, looks really professional - all you need is the glossy pages. Truly impressive AND the calendar, too. Can't wait to actually start reading all the stuff inside.. Wanted to just say, it looks good so far!!!

Dusty Dog Reviews: She opens with a poem of her own devising, which has that wintry atmosphere demonstrated in the movie version of Boris Pasternak's Doctor Zhivago. The atmosphere of wintry white and cold, gloriously murderous cold, stark raging cold, numbing and brutalizing cold, appears almost as a character who announces to his audience, "Wisdom occurs only after a laboriously magnificent disappointment." Alas, that our Dusty Dog for mat cannot do justice to Ms. Kuypers' very personal layering of her poem across the page.

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Fithian Press, Santa Barbara, CA
Indeed, there's a healthy balance here between wit and dark vision, romance and reality, just as there's a good balance between words and graphics. The work shows brave self-exploration, and serves as a reminder of mortality and the fragile beauty of friendship.

Mark Blickley, writer
The precursor to the magazine title (Children, Churches and Daddies) is very moving. "Scars" is also an excellent prose poem. I never really thought about scars as being a form of nostalgia. But in the poem it also represents courage and warmth. I look forward to finishing her book.

You Have to be Published to be Appreciated.

Do you want to be heard? Contact Children, Churches and Daddies about book or chapbook publishing. These reviews can be yours. Scars Publications, attention J. Kuypers. We're only an e-mail away. Write to us.

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Brian B. Braddock, Writer (on 1996 Children, Churches and Daddies) I passed on a copy to my brother who is the director of the St. Camillus AIDS programs. We found (Children, Churches and Daddies') obvious dedication along this line admirable.

The Center for Renewable Energy and Sustainable Technology
The Solar Energy Research & Education Foundation (SEREF), a non-profit organization based in Washington, D.C., established on Earth Day 1993 the Center for Renewable Energy and Sustainable Technology (CREST) as its central project. CREST's three principal projects are to provide:
* on-site training and education workshops on the sustainable development interconnections of energy, economics and environment;
* on-line distance learning/training resources on CREST's SOLSTICE computer, available from 144 countries through email and the Internet;
* on-disc training and educational resources through the use of interactive multimedia applications on CD-ROM computer discs - showcasing current achievements and future opportunities in sustainable energy development.
The CREST staff also does "on the road" presentations, demonstrations, and workshops showcasing its activities and available resources.
For More Information Please Contact: Deborah Anderson
dja@crest.org or (202) 289-0061

Brian B. Braddock, Writer (on 1996 Children, Churches and Daddies) I passed on a copy to my brother who is the director of the St. Camillus AIDS programs. We found (Children, Churches and Daddies') obvious dedication along this line admirable.

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Dorrance Publishing Co., Pittsburgh, PA
"Hope Chest in the Attic" captures the complexity of human nature and reveals startling yet profound discernments about the travesties that surge through the course of life. This collection of poetry, prose and artwork reflects sensitivity toward feminist issues concerning abuse, sexism and equality. It also probes the emotional torrent that people may experience as a reaction to the delicate topics of death, love and family.
"Chain Smoking" depicts the emotional distress that afflicted a friend while he struggled to clarify his sexual ambiguity. Not only does this thought-provoking profile address the plight that homosexuals face in a homophobic society, it also characterizes the essence of friendship. "The room of the rape" is a passionate representation of the suffering rape victims experience. Vivid descriptions, rich symbolism, and candid expressions paint a shocking portrait of victory over the gripping fear that consumes the soul after a painful exploitation.

want a review like this? contact scars about getting your own book published.

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Paul Weinman, Writer (on 1996 Children, Churches and Daddies) Wonderful new direction (Children, Churches and Daddies has) taken - great articles, etc. (especially those on AIDS). Great stories - all sorts of hot info!

The magazine Children Churches and Daddies is Copyright © through Scars Publications and Design. The rights of the individual pieces remain with the authors. No material may be reprinted without express permission from the author.

Okay, nilla wafer. Listen up and listen good. How to save your life. Submit, or I'll have to kill you.
Okay, it's this simple: send me published or unpublished poetry, prose or art work (do not send originals), along with a bio, to us - then sit around and wait... Pretty soon you'll hear from the happy people at cc&d that says (a) Your work sucks, or (b) This is fancy crap, and we're gonna print it. It's that simple!

Okay, butt-munch. Tough guy. This is how to win the editors over.
Hope Chest in the Attic is a 200 page, perfect-bound book of 13 years of poetry, prose and art by Janet Kuypers. It's a really classy thing, if you know what I mean. We also have a few extra sopies of the book "Rinse and Repeat", which has all the 1999 issues of cc&d crammed into one book. And you can have either one of these things at just five bucks a pop if you just contact us. It's an offer you can't refuse...

Carlton Press, New York, NY: HOPE CHEST IN THE ATTIC is a collection of well-fashioned, often elegant poems and short prose that deals in many instances, with the most mysterious and awesome of human experiences: love... Janet Kuypers draws from a vast range of experiences and transforms thoughts into lyrical and succinct verse... Recommended as poetic fare that will titillate the palate in its imagery and imaginative creations.
Mark Blickley, writer: The precursor to the magazine title (Children, Churches and Daddies) is very moving. "Scars" is also an excellent prose poem. I never really thought about scars as being a form of nostalgia. But in the poem it also represents courage and warmth. I look forward to finishing the book.

You Have to be Published to be Appreciated.
Do you want to be heard? Contact Children, Churches and Daddies about book and chapbook publishing. These reviews can be yours. Scars Publications, attention J. Kuypers - you can write for yourself or you can write for an audience. It's your call...

Dorrance Publishing Co., Pittsburgh, PA: "Hope Chest in the Attic" captures the complexity of human nature and reveals startling yet profound discernments about the travesties that surge through the course of life. This collection of poetry, prose and artwork reflects sensitivity toward feminist issues concerning abuse, sexism and equality. It also probes the emotional torrent that people may experience as a reaction to the delicate topics of death, love and family. "Chain Smoking" depicts the emotional distress that afflicted a friend while he struggled to clarify his sexual ambiguity. Not only does this thought-provoking profile address the plight that homosexuals face in a homophobic society, it also characterizes the essence of friendship. "The room of the rape" is a passionate representation of the suffering rape victims experience. Vivid descriptions, rich symbolism, and candid expressions paint a shocking portrait of victory over the gripping fear that consumes the soul after a painful exploitation.

Dusty Dog Reviews, CA (on knife): These poems document a very complicated internal response to the feminine side of social existence. And as the book proceeds the poems become increasingly psychologically complex and, ultimately, fascinating and genuinely rewarding. Children, Churches and Daddies. It speaks for itself.

Dusty Dog Reviews (on Without You): She open with a poem of her own devising, which has that wintry atmosphere demonstrated in the movie version of Boris Pasternak's Doctor Zhivago. The atmosphere of wintry white and cold, gloriously murderous cold, stark raging cold, numbing and brutalizing cold, appears almost as a character who announces to his audience, "Wisdom occurs only after a laboriously magnificent disappointment." Alas, that our Dusty Dog for mat cannot do justice to Ms. Kuypers' very personal layering of her poem across the page.
Children, Churches and Daddies. It speaks for itself.

Debra Purdy Kong, writer, British Columbia, Canada (on Children, Churches and Daddies): I like the magazine a lot. I like the spacious lay-out and the different coloured pages and the variety of writer's styles. Too many literary magazines read as if everyone graduated from the same course. We need to collect more voices like these and send them everywhere.
Fithian Press, Santa Barbara, CA: Indeed, there's a healthy balance here between wit and dark vision, romance and reality, just as there's a good balance between words and graphics. The work shows brave self-exploration, and serves as a reminder of mortality and the fragile beauty of friendship.

Published since 1993 No racist, sexist or homophobic material is appreciated; we do accept work of almost any genre of poetry, prose or artwork, though we shy away from concrete poetry and rhyme for rhyme's sake. Do not send originals. Any work sent to Scars Publications on Macintosh disks, text format, will be given special attention over smail-mail submissions. There is no limit to how much you may submit at a time; previously published work accepted.