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Running Toward Your Demise

03-24-05

It was reported on March seventh
that Colorado police pulled over
Gerald, because of his erratic driving.
Gerald didn’t know he was only
being pulled over for erratic driving,
and he was sure they would find out
that he stole the car he was driving.
So when the police pulled him over,
Gerald decided to flee from the
stolen car - and the police - on foot.
As the police chased Gerald, he tried
to stop them, while he was running,
by pulling out his 9mm semiautomatic
handgun, and started blindly firing
over his shoulder. We don’t know if
he thought he had eyes on the back
of his head, but maybe Gerald is
someone who can’t walk and chew gum
at the same time, because he couldn’t
flee and fire at the same time. Gerald
didn’t hit any of the police officers.
Gerald managed to shoot himself in the
head with his own gun. Four shots were
fired, although none of them were by
the officers. Police later found Gerald’s
pistol on the ground next to him.
Gerald died in the local hospital the
next day, a victim of his own gunfire.


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