enjoy this Chris Butler writing
in the Scars Publications free 2011 PDF file chapbook: Antimatter
(click on the front cover image or the
title text to download the free PDF file)
Suicide Song
Chris Butler
When there is nothing left
and I’ve chewed my last chalky antidepressant,
my eyes glance to shiny synthetic disks.
I open the plastic case and the port on my stereo
to place the plastic wax on its outlined tray, allowing
the lackadaisical laser to scan through the tracks.
A disfigured finger presses the seek button
to skip towards my sacred sad song,
then is preset on a continuous loop for eternity.
Sometimes I find myself thinking
That these skinny wrists need slitting,
But I must be kidding...
The symphony of bittersweet cacophony bursts
in distorted waves from the speakers.
Puffing packs of cigarettes
Is cheaper than a box of bullets,
Yet it’s better not to know it...
The discord of the singer’s vocal chords express
endless verses of angst-ridden lyrics.
Flying kites at night,
Under the bright white lighting strikes,
Is prayer my life takes flight...
The bass bumps persistently against my ear drums,
mirroring the rhythm of my fading heart.
It’s just my style
To fit the tragic profile
Of a downward spiral.
