FEARS AND FOLLIES
Ashok Niyogi
My past follies have come to dine with me
And they say they intend to stay.
Best are the times when I am alone
In a room full of people
And the ghosts that haunt me are all mine.
Champagne breakfast, grumpy good-mornings
And nothing more.
I dance with shadows on the floor,
Silhouettes playing the band.
I understand
I would want my yesterdays to
Push today away into the gloom.
Scarves and chiffons waft about in the room.
Old babushkas (1) sit by the wall
Knitting sweaters that I will never wear,
A patchwork of lives.
What patterns do you care to put together?
What meaning do you care to give?
Even if I live beyond this moment
What fear do I have of abysmal change?
My tears enmeshed in my mind’s rage
Will nevertheless drive me far.
(1) Babushkas - Russian word for Grandmothers
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