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CONVERSATIONS IN A CAR VII

Ashok Niyogi




If you remember, we had some conversations in a car.
After that, what happened?
Would you call it life or would you call it destiny?
I call it love, as I forever will.
A bout of sickness that affects the heart
But it need not, it should not.

We could have been acquaintances shaking hands
Saying “Hello”s and “Hi”s
And yet we said,
“Ami tomake chai.”
Our lives were organised and yet
Why did we make this mess.
This heavenly mess,
This beautiful mess.
Why did we make this lovely mess?
It was only because of your profile in the traffic lights
That I jumped out of my skin and talked like a monkey
And having made this mess why did I,
As the Americans say, “unmess” it after all?
And why am I writing poems to you to-day
Across the Caspian Sea
When we are not blind and can still see
And can still look into each other’s eyes?

If you think it was the sequestering that I wanted
You think wrong.
If you think it was the warmth of some other arms I wanted
You think wrong.
Once upon a time
I could read your every thought
And I don’t now even know what you think anymore.
But screw your Dolly Partons,
We are not islands in the stream,
We will meet and retreat
And we will meet again, tentatively.

As we grow older
Perhaps we shall become more tentative
But that is mystery, is it not?
That is what chocolates are made of-
You know the stuffing but you don’t know what’s inside.
You know the dreams
I always dream about you
But you don’t know what dreams are made of:
Always love, always kisses,
Always Ganichka,
But sometimes apprehension, sometimes fear
Because you are so dear.
A quiver of your lips breaks my heart,
A shy smile from you makes my day.

If you or I were to really, really forget our way
We would walk each other through the snow
Even today.
Then why is it that you change the complexion of the fears?
Why is it that you change the taste of the tears?
Let the car go on-
And we will have one more conversation in the car.






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