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Grace Noble held the vial above her head with a profound look of triumph, an overwhelming sense of wonder filling her. And they said it wasn’t possible, she thought and couldn’t help but feel a tinge of smug vindication as the years of experimentation and harsh trial and error were finally paying off. After the seed had taken root in Grace’s mind, the project had become not just a passion, but an obsession.
The substance she’d created had a greenish tint to it, looking unpleasantly like radioactive waste, but Grace scoffed at its foul appearance, knowing that the effect far outweighed anything else. One month and everyone will be drinking it, Grace thought, picking up the phone, nearly too excited to dial, still trying to decide who among her close circle of friends would get to try the miracle serum first. “Agnes,” she said aloud, already pressing the buttons, “She was the catalyst for the whole thing.”
Grace had been having lunch with Agnes when the idea was spawned. “I still tell you plants are superior in every way.” Agnes Wright, who worked in the same botany laboratory Grace had labored in for the past five years, spoke with her usual cynical flair.
Grace smiled good-naturedly. “I swear Agnes, sometimes I think you spend so much time in that garden of yours, you’re going to marry that patch of lilies you’re always fawning over.”
“Gracie, don’t get me started on how plants are superior to men, or we’ll be here all day.” She gazed out at the scenery, the veranda on which they were dining overlooking the pleasant vistas of Napa Valley, one of the main reasons the restaurant stayed in business. “And you should be one to talk. It was your research that gave new life to the grapevine’s crop cycle at the expense of a year of your life. In case you’ve forgotten.”
“Oh, I haven’t forgotten.” Grace chuckled to herself, still almost unable to understand how she’d done such a thing, being transformed almost overnight from a routine plant specialist to a superstar in the world of modern agriculture. “Well, it was really a simple matter once I stopped and thought about it. Empirical evidence just filled in the blanks for me.”
“I wouldn’t call a full page write up in Scientific America ‘a simple matter’.”
“I have to admit that was pretty exciting.”
Agnes languidly sipped her glass of iced tea, enjoying the cool morning breeze. “I still don’t fully understand how you figured it out and you’ve told me at least ten times.”
“Honestly, it was really simple. I knew that some unknown agent had been leaching the nutrients from the coastline for at least the past ten years. Well, a little digging and some shale analysis proved it for me. I knew there was a severe zinc and iron sulfide deficiency. Underground erosion of salt and calcium deposits affected the deep soil, and the trickle-down effect meant the topsoil was losing its nutrients too. No nutrients, no good crops. See it is simple.”
“Yeah, maybe that part is, but formulating the chemical compound to stabilize the minerals sure isn’t. And that’s why you’re the botanist extraordinaire.” Agnes made a grandiose saluting gesture. Everything Agnes did was exaggerated for theatrical effect.
“Yes, well, can we please talk about something else? I think all this flattery is going to my head. I think I’d rather hear you rant about how plants are better than men.”
“Not just better than men, better than all mankind, womankind included.” Agnes had a glimmer of delight in her eye as she spoke as if she’d unearthed the greatest life-altering truth.
“Okay, I’ll humor you.” Grace looked at her friend through a half-drained wine glass, marveling at the refraction of light in it, framing her lunch companion, and wondering just how excited someone must have been to discover what silica could become. “But I’m only asking because I know you want me to.”
“Desire,” Agnes answered. “Or more accurately, lack of desire. That’s what makes plants superior to humans. They don’t desire. That’s why they don’t have wars. Desire is what makes people unhappy. It’s what makes people want to lose weight, what makes people fight over things. Want. I swear sometimes I think Buddhists are onto something. No attachments. And what do you think Heaven is? A place where no desire is necessary because everyone has everything they could possibly want right there. No desire. That equals happiness, I tell you. Why do you think that plants don’t fight?”
Grace smiled, with genuine warmth this time. “Perhaps because they don’t have any means of holding weapons?” Agnes raised a quizzical eyebrow, in a look of mock disdain. “Actually,” Grace continued, the scientist at heart speaking, “plants do fight, constantly. They compete for air, that’s why they grow higher and bigger, constantly trying to adapt to get sunlight for photosynthesis. Even their roots try to strangle each other to get enough nutrients. Not to mention the fact that the oxygen they emit as a byproduct, that we all love so much, is really a poison.”
Agnes was nonplused. “Well, I stand by it. If you eliminated desire you’d have peace.”
Though their banter went on, a deep-seeded idea had already been planted, burrowing into the fertile landscape of Grace’s subconscious, and that solitary supposition formed the centerpiece of everything she did for the next twelve years. It was why Grace left the botany field and became a chemist. It was why she never married, and some said why she became a recluse: Desire.
Dr. Doris Step was the invited guest to arrive at Grace’s house, a broad smile on her lips, hiding internal jealousy. Doris had been a chemical engineer for six years at Cal Tech before making a northward migration. Although she’d been working in the same field as Grace for most of her adult life, in the short amount of time Grace had spent at the research lab, the young upstart had eclipsed Doris’ achievements by a broad margin. Now in her late fifties, Doris hid her disappointment behind a mask of affable tolerance.
“So what’s this miracle serum?” Doris was a straight-to-the-point kind of person.
“Uh-uh, not until the rest of the company gets here.” Grace smiled mirthfully, seeming about to explode from the magnitude of her secret. Doris made an exasperated gesture, as she sat down on the overstuffed couch.
Douglas O’Brien was next to arrive. He comprised the only relationship, other than the professional kind, that Grace had experienced in the past twelve years and it had ended miserably. When Grace’s desires as a scientist had superceded desire for human interest, Dr. O’Brien had called the whole thing off, telling Grace she was too cold, too absorbed for anything meaningful. He now had two children and a beautiful wife, though he and Grace had stayed close friends.
Another knock at the door brought Joyce Rivers to Grace’s home. Dr. Rivers, a standoffish woman who Grace had never liked, was the oldest and most revered scientist in the Chemical Research Department at the lab, and on the eve of such a momentous occasion, Grace felt obligated to include her.
Agnes came last, entering with her usual flair, flinging her dark trench coat to the side, saying, “The party can begin now that I’ve arrived.” Dr. O’Brien laughed politely, but the two other women stared in silence, Doris constantly checking her watch. “This better be good to get me out here this hour of night,” Agnes continued with a smile. Doris’ ears perked up at the comment, as if Agnes had just given voice to what she’d been thinking all along.
“Believe me, this will be well worth the trip,” Grace assured them, trying to keep the overwhelming excitement out of her voice. Now that everyone had finally gathered, she almost couldn’t control herself, thoughts of the famous Peace Prize running through her head.
The group gathered in the living room, huddled like children who’d discovered their parents’ secret stash of booze. There was a taboo feeling to the night that no one could precisely put a finger on. Grace broke the tension by withdrawing a beaker of serum made from the formula she’d been so carefully honing and perfecting all these years. “What you see right here will revolutionize the world. It’s been my dream and my goal since a very special friend of mine gave me the idea, what seemed like a lifetime ago.” She nodded to Agnes who actually bowed slightly. “Some say it’s been my obsession, but I’ve gathered you all here tonight to show you the future. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.” Doris couldn’t suppress a yawn, though she ostensibly tried to hide it. “What you’re going to experience tonight will be the wave of the new world. One of peace, love, and prosperity.” She couldn’t help but think how she sounded like someone at a Woodstock revival but Grace was way too jazzed to care. “You’re going to be my test group for my miracle serum.”
Dr. O’Brien didn’t like the sound of that one bit and voiced his objection. “Grace, you of all people should know that there are procedures to be followed. There’s FDA, regulated double blind groups, you can’t just whisk us over here and hope to use us as guinea pigs.”
Grace snapped at him, “And is that what Madame Curie thought?”
Doris interjected, “She died of radiation poisoning from her own experiments.”
Grace was not dissuaded, “Okay, is that what Jonas Salk thought when he cured the world of Polio? And friends, I tell you, I’m curing the world of something much more important than that.” Her words were clipped and ran together like she was hyped up on stimulants. “Much more important.”
It was Joyce Rivers who spoke up, one of the first things she’d said the entire night, seeming intrigued, “Oh really, and what is that?”
Grace didn’t hesitate. “Desire.”
There was a uniform chorus of ‘oh brother’ and ‘give me a break’. Grace, however, was not deterred. “I’m not joking with you. And I have Agnes to thank for it all. Before any of you object, just hear me out, and then if any of you don’t want to take part, it’s your choice, but I can guarantee you in a month or less everyone will be taking this stuff. And I don’t care what the FDA has to say about it.”
Again, Dr. O’Brien interjected, “But long term trials, resultant factors...”
Grace held up her hand. “Just give me a chance. You see, it all leads back to desire. Addiction, sorrow, depression, rage. I’ve been taking this drug for three weeks now. One more week and it will take full effect.”
Dr. O’Brien muttered under his breath, “Well, that explains a lot.”
Grace didn’t stop. “Like every drug, there’s is a short spike at the beginning, a period of heightened intensity. With this drug, it’s relatively brief; but Douglas, you mentioned clinical trials, and I can tell you I’ve done extensive trials myself and I’ve formulated this thing perfectly. Initially, I wanted it to be a one-shot dose, but that was way too powerful, too unpredictable. Believe me I’ve got a hundred placid, perfectly happy hamsters at the lab who’ve been given he perfect dosage. I formulated a reduced potency, one that was safe for humans. Right now I’m in the down phase. The drug is changing the chemical balance in my brain, slowly, so that there’s no damage to my equilibrium. Like other synthetic drugs, this miracle, which I call ‘Peace,’ affects the levels of dopamine, testosterone and estrogen in the body, while at the same time stabilizing the dangerous surges in serotonin, which is the primary cause for mood altering effects. Basically, ‘Peace’ equalizes the hormones, balancing the testosterone and estrogen levels as well as administering a regulated constant supply of dopamine which, as you all know, regulates happiness and thereby placidity, making people peaceful, content, to the point where desire is eliminated. And the effects are even more far-reaching than that. It can eliminate sorrow. It can stabilize brainwaves which could help many people with mental afflictions like bipolar disorder and manic depression. Perhaps with alterations it can affect the palsy that strikes the brain at old age causing strokes, or regulate healthy circulatory functions to avoid embolisms. The possibilities are endless...”
Grace couldn’t help but smile, a sweet victorious grin. “In effect this will eliminate the need for religion, for money. I have the power to create a new world.”
“But what if someone doesn’t want this?” It was Dr. O’Brien.
“You’re just the eternal cynic aren’t you, Doug? Well, if that’s the case then they don’t have to. I’m not forcing this on anyone.”
“But you’ve got to think of the ramifications...” He continued on, but Grace was no longer listening, turning her attention to Agnes who had her hand raised like a school child aching to go to the restroom.
“Agnes.”
“Yes, well, I think this thing is great, but you say there is a down phase?”
“Yes, temporarily. It allows for the body and the mind to harmonize. There’s a huge spike, a full effect with the first dose, which all you active participants are going to experience in a few minutes, but then after a little bit it wears down, bringing you back. It’s less of a shock that way. Then, with regular doses, the effect can last longer until it becomes permanent. Like I said earlier, it takes about a month. Otherwise, I’d be peaceful as can be, but I’ve still got a week to go. But I’ve become used to the downs. The dose is great and I can’t wait to feel it all the time, but I have to be safe. I don’t know what exceeding the dosage would do.”
Doris voiced her opinion. “I would have to say, Grace, it does sound exciting, but what if someone uses other drugs like cocaine or Prozac? Won’t that affect it?”
Grace felt on top of the world. She’d done her research, thought this through from every aspect of attack. She was ready. “Yes. Only temporarily. Cocaine would release greater quantities of dopamine and serotonin but ‘Peace’ would eventually equal it out. Same thing with Prozac as that drug has a similar balancing effect, and with other anti depressants drugs that inhibit the release of MAOI. But these are all really moot points because you have to understand that once someone takes ‘Peace’ they’re not going to want to take any of those other drugs. They’re not going to need to.”
“And the supply?” Doris was a realist and a worrisome one at that.
“Indefinite. That’s the beauty of it. I built off of known chemical substances readily found in plants. Why do you think so many societies have relied on medicinal herbs for so long? The beauty of it is, since it’s organically based, the supply is self replicating.”
An awed silence fell over the room. Grace went to the counter and grabbed four glasses. “Now, since there are no more questions. Let’s drink up. I’ve already had my dose for the day, and I have to tell you, I’m a little jealous.” She couldn’t conceal her smile. She poured the beaker equally into the glasses, the amount little more than a shot of liquor. The four invitees, feeling a part of something beyond their control, swept up their drinks, Dr. O’Brien the most hesitant of the group. In the end, peer pressure and curiosity finally wore down any last barriers he had erected.
In typical fashion, Agnes called a toast. “To ‘Peace’,” she said with a wide eyed smile, and the four drained their glasses.
Agnes thought she was in Heaven, the sheer euphoria wrapping her like a tightly woven cocoon of good feelings, the individual threads all delightfully lifting emotions she didn’t even know she had. I wonder if this is why they say we only use ten percent of our brain, the thought fluttered to her, and she made a mental note that she’d have to tell Grace. The only way she’d ever be able to describe it was to say that she felt like she was flying when she was standing still. The only problem with that analogy was that it was all too accurate, her descent rapid, and very unsettling.
“More,” was the first word out of her mouth. The down was so intense, so crushing that she felt as if she’d lost her ability to think rationally all together. It was as if she’d seen the true face of euphoria only to be ripped away as she was about to touch it. It wasn’t fair. “More, more now,” she repeated. Grace backed up a step, unsure about her friend’s rapid change in demeanor. Grace was baffled, nothing like this had happened in her personal experience with the drug. Dr. O’Brien was joining in the chant, almost zombie-like, staggering toward her.
“Agnes is right, Gracie, you have to give us more.” Dr. O’Brien was actually salivating. “It was so remarkable, so beautiful, I have to have more.” Doris joined in the call, stripping off her blouse for some unknown reason.
It was Joyce Rivers who broke the chant-like spell of “More...More...More...” screaming out viciously and lashing at Doris with grasping hands.
Joyce was obviously older, but she had the advantage of surprise, pushing the younger woman to the floor. “She has some,” the crazed woman was shouting, “I know she has some and I need to get it. Now. I have to go back. I have to...” she screamed, still clawing at Doris who attempted to fight back.
Dr. O’Brien was within a few footsteps. Grace retreated until her back was pressed against the wall. Scared, terrified, by the sudden and unexpected change of events, she threw the empty beaker at Doug. “Here, take it, I don’t care,” she screamed, trying to keep the fear from her voice, but failing. With greedy hands O’Brien snatched the container and licked the insides for the remnants of the serum. A glazed look began to fill his eyes as he relaxed, but it was short-lived as Agnes jumped on him, grabbing for the beaker. O’Brien did not hesitate, striking back with hate-filled force. Grace tried to run, but only made it three steps before she felt the glass of the beaker shatter against the back of her head. As her vision dimmed she could see Agnes staring at her unrecognizably, kicking at her screaming for more, the group of well-educated doctors degenerated into a scene of carnage and death, all searching for Peace.
