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Sermon on the Mount (as practiced by certain people):
Twenty-First Century Edition

Michael Ceraolo

Blessed are the poor,
for theirs makes possible our fiefdom on earth

Blessed are those
who are killed so that we may remain comfortable

Blessed are the meek,
for without their contributions to our tax-exempt foundations
our lifestyles would be far less lavish

Blessed are we
who hunger and thirst with covetousness,
for we have the means to satisfy our cravings

Blessed are the merciless
who can call for assassination of foreign leaders with impunity

Blessed are the hard in heart,
for they shall obtain more of God's creation

Blessed are the warmakers,
for they can play God with the life of the world

Blessed are we
who feel persecuted even in our kingdom on earth

And Blessed are
when men revile us and persecute us
and utter all kinds of evil against us
on account of any of the above,
��for
we rejoice and are glad that our reward is great on earth



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