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Alone Time
Down in the Dirt, v183
(the May 2021 Issue)



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Flatulent Teen Sets Fire to Christmas Tree

Kelley Jean White

he risked his own life by removing the burning tree
using a deodorant can and a lighter
police took photos of the victim’s injury as evidence

a transvestite straightening his black stockings
I offered him the spare room
my hand-me-down dress
kings and queens on a carnival float

to improve basic etiquette
tied a knot around his penis to stop the bleeding

being a positive education role model to offset negative stereotypes
the incident was “wholly out of character”
electronically tagged for four months
on a leave of absence from Z square

grumpy old people can’t help it
Czech castration raises worries
to promote family experiences in local environments
the publicity associated with the penis stabbing

she saw the bridge and the painted ladies



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