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Smoke and Lies

Rachel Sievers

    The cool burn in her lungs bit deep as she took a fourth long drag. She exhaled the memory. The first toke had produced coughing fits. The second a burn. The third a deep calm. She needed calm right now. Nervousness gnawed at her stomach and scratched in her brain. The smoke pushed it back like a hand pushing chips at a poker table. She would tell him tonight. It had been months now, the longest she had ever kept a secret from him. Tonight, was the night.
    “Mags?” A voice rang out from behind her at the front of her house. She quickly put the pipe ash to the ground and stomped it furiously. Then grabbed at her purse in search of gum and perfume.
    “Mags, where are you?” The voice rang out again.
    She chomped furiously on the gum and through full mouth shouted, “just a sec. I am out back. I’ll head that way.” Spraying too many squirts of perfume and then swallowing the gum she stepped though the sliding glass door and made sure to shut it tight.
    “Marty?” She called as she walked through the kitchen into the sitting room where she knew she would find him making a drink. There was the man she knew and loved. He had aged in the years she had loved him, but her love had only grown deeper for the greying man in front of her. He was going to be sixty in a few months and they had talked about retiring and doing more traveling. They had always loved to travel.
    Maggie had been a teacher for the better part of twenty-nine years and Marty an engineer. They had spent their lives in suburbs growing children and rhododendrons. It was a good life. An easy life.
    The smoke had clouded her head and Maggie almost told him then and there but when he turned and handed her a dirty martini the words clogged her throat like mud and couldn’t make an escape.
    “I am so glad it is Friday.” Marty smiled as he tipped his glass toward hers and a small clink escaped as he pulled it away. Maggie smiled and nodded. She thought about retirement mere months away. Marty had planned their trip to tour Europe, a celebration to start off their new lives together.
    Maggie cleared her throat and tried to start, “Marty.” His name hung in the air and when she said nothing more he turned towards her. They had spent more than three and half decades together and she knew her secret couldn’t stay hidden much longer. His eye focused on her and without any more words from her he knew.
    “It’s back?” The tremble in his voice was obvious.
    Maggie felt her head nodding as hot tears spread down her cheeks. Marty took her in his arms and held her. For a long time, they said nothing because words meant nothing now.
    When the tears dried and words were permissible again, Marty looked at Maggie and said, “tomorrow.” Maggie nodded and they walked into the sitting room to plan their retirement.

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