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The Canoe Capper

Mark K. Ryan

    It was midnight and the wind was howling. Suddenly I heard a noise outside and looked out the second floor window. There he was the midnight bandit with his gang. They all had masks across their eyes and were rummaging through the garbage barrels. Clang, bang went the cover as the wind took it aloft and it hit the side of the shed. Mom and dad raccoon were deep inside the barrel handing out numerous food morsels to their young children. Pieces of banana peel and apple cores and orange rinds were neatly piled up on the ground for the cuddly crime crew to later carry away to their safe den under a rotten log nearby. I gasped and sighed and hoped they had enough food to feed the family. The next day I put some vegetable scraps in a plate next to the barrel.
    A few days later, I heard the sound again but didn’t bother looking. The masked bandits probably had resumed their shenanigans. When I woke the next morning, I noticed my hostas plants scattered around the front yard. Taking a closer look, my old aluminum canoe was gone. I used it as a raised bed for the hostas plants. It was only a small one man canoe and a little corroded around the joints. Not getting much use as a watercraft, I had my sons drill some holes in the bottom for drainage and used it as a planter. I sure hope the canoe culprit doesn’t take it out on the lake without checking first.
    The next morning was Sunday and a beautiful summer day. Some town folk were already at the town beach. Looking off to the side, the town hooligans were at it early throwing water balloons at the some young girls still in their Sunday dresses. Showing off, they pulled out a canoe hidden in the nearby bushes and slid it to the water’s edge. Although it was a one man boat, three lads got in the canoe in shallow water and started showing off in front of the girls paddling the canoe with a short dead tree branch. Suddenly, leaks sprouted from the canoe floor and spurted water geysers into the air. Trying to stop the leak, one boy put his hand over one geyser when another erupted. Within a few minutes there were twenty water cannons shooting up ten feet as the canoe gurgled and slowly sank in three feet of water. The three boys were now soaked and their Sunday clothes ruined. How would they explain this to their moms? Now with the tables turned the girls were laughing at the boys.
    The town policeman at the beach, watched the boys slowly walk out of the water and asked what happened. The younger boy in the trio quickly cried out, if we didn’t steal the canoe in the first place this wouldn’t have happened. The other boys looked at the younger with exasperation and said, Why did you have to say that?
    The policeman asked the boys where they got the canoe and they confessed. The policeman said that they would have to get the sunken canoe and return it to where they got it and face the consequences.
    The boys retrieved the canoe from the water and with the help of the policeman and his truck, returned it to the owner. The boys knocked on my door and told their sad story and said they were sorry. The policeman asked if I wanted to press charges or did I have another solution.
    Thinking about it for a few minutes, I said that the boys would have to put the canoe back where they found it, replant the hostas and do some yard work for me cutting grass and raking leaves. If they did a good job I would drop the theft charges. The boys all agreed and the policeman said he would check back to see if they had completed what they promised. A week later, the boys had returned the canoe, replanted the hostas and helped with some yard work.
    During the next few months, the boys would stop at my yard and ask if I needed any help. Now and then I did have some chores and paid them for their help. Sometimes friendships happen in strange ways.
    The raccoon family was hiding under their log and all giggled in agreement.

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