This writing was accepted for publication in the 108 page perfect-bound ISSN# / ISBN# issue/book “Three Things” Down in the Dirt, v186 (the August 2021 Issue) Order the paperback book:

Order this writing that appears in the one-of-a-kind anthology Lockdown’s Over the Down in the Dirt May-August 2021 issues collection book		get the 420 page May-August 2021 Down in the Dirt 6" x 9" ISBN# perfect-bound paperback book:

First Grey

Veronica Zora Kirin

    On April 27, 2021, in the midst of a global pandemic, we found my first grey hair. Fitting.
    We were still laying in bed before the day began.
    I was hardly awake when M declared, “You got your first grey hair!” This was not something I was prepared to process in my pre-caffinated state, and I denied it out of hand.
    “Do you want me to show you?” he offered. Not thinking, I indicated yes, and felt a pinch in my scalp where a hair had been pulled. M’s hand appeared in front of my face. “Here; it was in your part.”
    There it was. Undeniably grey. The kind of silver tone that trendy young adults pay good money to flaunt. I pushed his hand away and moaned, “I’m not ready!”
    I find this milestone an accurate reflection of the pandemic. I wasn’t ready for COVID-19, either. I had just moved 2,181 miles to Los Angeles, and was planning a new life. I was planning a new startup and gaining traction. My partner was planning to move to join me, soon. I was planning on giving a keynote at an upcoming LGBTQ gala. I was planning my next TEDx talk. Nowhere had I planned for a pandemic.
    How often do things go exactly as planned? We fool ourselves into a false sense of control by planning. No one expected this of 2020, yet here it is.
    I ruminated on the unexpected grey for the better part of the morning, and found the shock came not from shame, but from a lack of mental preparedness. I had planned to get my first greys in my forties, not my early thirties. As such, I felt that I wasn’t yet worthy of the silver status. I hadn’t earned it. Greys are a sign of a life of experience, of wisdom. With their first showing, one knows more than many, yet still less than most. By the time they cover the head, one knows more than most, and less than only some. A society that shames aging misses out on that wisdom.
    Just so, a society that fears the uncontrollable loses out on its lessons, though in reality we are always “out of control.” The unexpected, like a stray grey hair, is best accepted with wisdom and grace.
    I searched the floor for that discarded grey hair later that afternoon. I had unintentionally thrown out a major rite of passage because it wasn’t part of the plan, and hoped to retrieve it for my journal. We keep a sprig of baby hair — why not a first grey? Alas, it has not been found. I’ve learned my lesson.

Copyright of written pieces remain with the author, who has allowed it to be shown through Scars Publications and Design.Web site © Scars Publications and Design. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted without express permission from the author.

Problems with this page? Then deal with it...