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I’m a Bad Mother...

Bill Tope

I am 19 and I have two children,
But I am a bad mother. My daughters,
Keisha, 5, and Malia, 3, mean everything
In the world to me, but I can’t provide
For them. I work forty hours a week
But I make only $7.25 an hour here
In Charleston. They haven’t raised the
Minimum wage since I was in
Kindergarten, nearly fourteen years
Ago.
We have Medicaid, but it’s not very
Good. A lot of doctors, the better ones
Anyway, won’t have nothing to do with
My family. They say, go past the tracks,
Across town, if we want help. The
Hospitals, though, they got to help. It’s
The law. So anytime one of my babies
Get a cough or a fever, we just go to the
Emergency Room to see about it.
My grandma, she on Medicare and she
Watch Keisha when she gets out of
School, and Malia, she stays with
Granny all day. But Granny sick, too.
We don’t have a car. I catch three
Buses just to get down to the laundry
Where I work and I sure is tired when
I get home, after folding sheets and
Other people’s clothes all the day.
Malia, she a diabetic and can’t eat
Regular food like the rest of us. I’m
Afraid my babies going to starve.
Rent so high in this tenement and
I can’t find nothing no cheaper and
Utilities, the gas and water and the
Electric, not included. And this old
Apartment is so drafty that you
Can almost watch the heat and
The a/c just flow out the windows
And the walls.
There’s no grocery store in this
Part of town so I got to spend my
Money on bus passes just to go
Shopping for food. And I can’t
Carry too much at one time. I hurt
My shoulder at work and the
Supervisor says I better not take
Off work or there’s ten other girls
Just waiting to take my job. I
Guess that’s right, that’s how I
Got the job, when some other girl
Got hurt and called off. He said
One missed shift and I out.
On the weekend I waited for three
Hours each day at the hospital to
Be treated, But there was so many
Ahead of me, some with gunshots
And broken bones, and I don’t look
Sick and so I have to get home and
Cook for Granny and the girls. They
Lost without me.
The other night, Malia took sick again
And it was early in the morning and
I can’t wake her up and so I call
An ambulance and they take
Forever to show up. They don’t
Like to go to the “dark” side of
Charleston late at night. And
The buses don’t run after ten and
So finally I just wrapped up Malia
And took out walking to the hospital,
Which is four miles from home.
I was scared to death the whole
Time and Malia, she not waking
Up and I prayed...
When I got to the hospital, they
Take Malia right away into the
ER and I look through the window
And see her lifeless body just laying
There on the table and I cry and
I pray some more. They say Malia
In a coma and her blood sugar
Was near 500 because we almost
Out of insulin and I’m out of money.
Hers is special and it is very
Expensive. They gave me a
Bottle and I’m more careful now.
I don’t know if none of this
Makes any difference to you.
I didn’t even vote for you the
Last time, Senator Graham. But I
Sure could use a raise and more
Help with Malia’s medicine. I can’t
Take care of my girls. Like I said,
I’m a bad mother.

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