This appears in a pre-2010 issue of Down in the Dirt magazine.
You can get saddle-stitched issues that are now longer printed
by requesting a reproduction of the issue for amazon sale
as a 6" x 9" ISBN# book! Email us for re-release to order.
Water lapped gently at the pilings. Seagulls wheeled and squawked as they flew through the sky. Two seagulls fought over a jellyfish that washed up on the shore.
Elizabeth Mayhews picked up a pebble, and threw it at the seagulls. It ended up hitting the desiccated jellyfish. Marjorie watched in wide-eyed amazement. Ramona, the middle sister, announced, “You didn’t scare them.”
Elizabeth hefted another rock, and said, “No, duh!” She leaned back, and whip cracked her left arm, between underhand and sidearm. Elizabeth played softball for twelve years, and fast pitch softball for three years, and it paid off. The fastball hit the first seagull dead on. He gave a surprised caw, and fell over on his side. The other seagull looked at the humans, his black obsidian eyes registering surprise. Then he opened his wings, and took off. Ramona said, “You killed the seagull.”
Elizabeth snorted. “Aw hell, he’s just stunned.” She was very careful not to swear in front of Marjorie.
Ramona ignored Elizabeth’s remark. She pronounced, “It’s wrong to kill seagulls. They are part of the ecosystem. You shouldn’t tamper with the ecosystem.”
Elizabeth snarled, “How about we put the ecosystem back in whack? I’ll feed you to the seagulls!” Ramona screamed, and scrabbled back. Marjorie watched wide eyed, then giggled, hiccupped, and clapped.
Ramona sulked. “That wasn’t funny.”
Elizabeth retorted, “It was hilarious. Wasn’t it, Marjorie?”
Marjorie chimed in, “Lizzy was right. It was funny.”
Ramona exploded, “You little goober!” She stormed off.
Meanwhile, the seagull that had been rather rudely interrupted from his dinner got up and tried opening his wings. The left one opened fine, but the right one was broken, and could only move two inches from his body. His only route of escape was the sea. He began hobbling toward the water.
Elizabeth noted him trying to get away, and shouted, “Oh no you don’t!” She began chasing after him.
The seagull saw her coming, and began hobbling faster. For a minute, it looked like the seagull would win. She slowed a half-pace as she approached the water.
Cold chills moved from her loins to her midsection in clammy waves. Memories came to her in an unwanted rush. If she allowed herself to give in to the fear, he would be able to swim out beyond where she was willing to venture...
Elizabeth managed to ignore the fear, wading into the water up to her ankles to catch the seagull. He looked unhappy about being caught, but there was little he could do about it.
Elizabeth walked back onto the beach, and showed the seagull to Marjorie. She stared in wide-eyed fascination at the bird before her. She asked, “Is it poisonous, Lizzy?”
Elizabeth grimaced. She hated being called Lizzy. However, since Marjorie idolized her, Elizabeth let it pass. She said, “No, seagulls aren’t poisonous. They’re just vultures with a coat of paint. They are carrion eaters.”
Marjorie asked, “What does that mean?”
Elizabeth asked, “What does what mean? Carrion?” Marjorie nodded.
Elizabeth continued, “It means they are nature’s garbage scows. Carrion is dead bodies, and seagulls, like vultures, eat dead bodies.”
Marjorie stuck out her tongue, and said, “Yuck! That’s really gross!”
Elizabeth said, “That’s dis-guuuuu-sting!” her voice rising an octave on the middle syllable. Marjorie collapsed to the sand, laughing and hiccupping. Finally, she got up, and asked, “Can I touch him?”
Elizabeth said, “Sure, I don’t see why not.”
Marjorie tiptoed up, and gently prodded the seagull. It regarded her quizzically. She squealed with delight, and ran back. Then she came up to the seagull again, and poked him. Once again, the seagull only stared at her.
Marjorie exclaimed with delight, “The birdie is soo soft.”
Elizabeth opened her mouth to say something. An unfamiliar voice shouted, “Heads up!”
Surprised, Elizabeth turned around. The Frisbee ended up hitting the seagull. He cawed with anger. A tall boy said, “Well, hello there, good looking! You happen to see a Frisbee around here somewhere?”
He had long blonde hair, a deep tan, and earthy California good looks. Elizabeth decided he was a pretty boy, and she wasn’t interested.
After flashing Marjorie a warning glance, she pointed with her toe. The boy said, “I didn’t happen to catch your name.”
Elizabeth said, stiff-lipped, “I didn’t throw it.” Marjorie giggled.
The boy looked shocked to get hit with that hoary old chestnut. He recovered fast. “Well, what is your name?”
Elizabeth said, “Liz.”
He said, almost reverently, “Liz.” Then he asked, “Is it short for Elizabeth?”
She retorted, “No, it’s short for Lizard.”
For a minute, he looked like Elizabeth had puked on his sandals. He quickly regained his equilibrium, and decided to press his attack. “Well then, Lizard, when should I stop by to pick you up? I realize you are just dying for a date with me, but I won’t be available until three.”
Marjorie marched up to him, and scowled. She announced, “You are not nice.” With that, she kicked some sand onto his sandals.
He took off his sunglasses, and glowered at her. Elizabeth realized Marjorie had handed her the perfect opportunity out of this situation. She stepped into the situation, and asked, “Marjorie, do you know where your older sister is?”
Marjorie looked up at her sister, and caught the expression. She said, “No, I have no idea.”
Elizabeth said, “Go find her, or mom will have a bird.” Marjorie looked at Elizabeth, and then giggled.
Elizabeth rolled her eyes, and said, “Pun not intended. Now get going, munchkin!” Marjorie took off down the beach.
Elizabeth said with mock sadness, “Gee, I was so looking foreword to a date. Unfortunately, responsibility intrudes. But I suppose you wouldn’t know anything about that. By the way, could you help my friend here? He’s a little down on his luck.”
With that, she handed him the seagull, and ran off after her sister. He looked at the bird in his hands, and threw it down in disgust. The seagull responded to this abusive treatment buy pooping on his sandals.
He made an abortive attempt to kick the impertinent bird. Then he picked up his Frisbee, and stormed off.
Meanwhile, Elizabeth had caught up with Marjorie, but neither of them knew where Ramona was. Elizabeth confided in a low tone, “Personally, I’d be happy if she stayed lost.”
A familiar voice shrilled, “Well then, why didn’t you?”
Elizabeth said, “Selfish self interest. If mom and dad would have a fit if they found out I left you running around by yourself.”
Ramona was silent. She desultorily threw stones into the water. Elizabeth perched herself on a log, and brooded. Finally, she said, “Marjorie, go get me a flat, smooth stone. I’ll teach you to skip stones.”
Marjorie nodded with great enthusiasm, and then took off. She came back five minutes later with an armful of rocks. Elizabeth picked up a rock, and went into her stretch. Her left arm snapped foreword, the rock flew through the air, and skipped ten times. Marjorie heaved her rock, and it plunked into the water. Ramona laughed.
Elizabeth challenged, “Alright miss bigmouth, put you money where your mouth is. I dare you to skip a stone.”
Ramona gulped, and threw. It plunked into the water.
Elizabeth didn’t say anything. She just turned toward Marjorie, and said, “Look, skipping is in the arm. First, you cock your arm back, like this, see? Then you throw it. I recommend sidearm. First, snap your elbow, like this. Then your wrist, like this, see? Then release!”
The stone skipped six times. Marjorie clapped.
Elizabeth handed her a rock, and said, “Here, you try it. The secret is to put a spin on the stone.”
Marjorie threw, and her stone skipped twice.
Ramona grabbed a rock, and said, “Let me try!” She managed to make her stone skip three times. Then she crowed, “Look! I made it skip three times!”
Again, Elizabeth said nothing. Scooping up a flat stone, she cocked her arm back, and then whipped it forward. The stone skipped thirteen times.
Ramona’s eyes widened then narrowed. She scowled, and then declared, “I hate you!”
With that, Ramona ran onto a pier, fifty feet away. Elizabeth shouted, “Get off that pier, right now!”
Ramona retorted, “Go to Hell!”
The rotting wood gave an ominous creak, and then took a drunken lurch. Elizabeth shouted, “Ramona!”
Her sister grabbed onto a piling, and began to blubber. Elizabeth shouted, “Don’t move! I’ll be out to get you!”
She took three steps forward, and stopped. With a loud crash, the dock came apart, dropping Ramona into the water. She began to scream and thrash.
Elizabeth was rooted to the spot. She looked around wildly for somebody to help her. She was terrified of the water. It hadn’t always been that way.
She used to be a great swimmer, and loved the water. Then, when she was nine, she swam into a kelp bed without realizing what she was doing. She had gotten tangled up, and started to panic. Then a riptide started pulling her out to sea. It was only the intervention of a lifeguard that saved her from drowning. Since then, water more than knee deep terrified her.
A few people began looking and pointing. Elizabeth waved her arms at them in a frantic manner. They waved back at her. She wanted to scream. They didn’t get it!
Marjorie’s finger poked her in the side. Elizabeth whirled to snarl at her sister, and found herself face-to-face with an elderly man. The corners of his eyes drooped down, giving him a sad-eyed look, and he had a bristly white walrus moustache.
Elizabeth grabbed him by the forearms, and said, “Oh, thank God! You’ve got to help me! My sister is drowning out there!”
She swept her hand out to indicate Ramona thrashing. He looked sorrowful. “I’m sorry, young lady. I can’t help you.”
He looked down. Elizabeth looked down, and felt a wave of dismay go through her. The old man was leaning on a cane, and his right leg was twisted at a pigeon-toed angle. He looked her straight in the eye, and said, “You have to save her. Nobody else could get to her in time.”
An icy wave of fear washed over Elizabeth. She shook her head, and took a step backward. “Huh-uh! No way! I can’t!”
The man hobbled closer, never breaking eye contact. “You can, and you must! Otherwise, your sister will drown!” He tapped his cane on the sand for emphasis.
Elizabeth held up her hands in a defensive gesture. “I just can’t! I had an accident, now I’m afraid of the water!”
The old man’s expression softened. “You can do it. I have faith in you.”
He grabbed her by the shoulder, and she was surprised at his strength. Then, for a brief, shining moment, the fear was gone. She looked out at Ramona. Her sister was subsiding to gurgling and flailing around, and was starting to sink.
Without conscious thought, Elizabeth stepped out of her sandals, and began running toward the water. Marjorie had been staring at the man slack-jawed the entire time, her index finger curled over her lower lip. The man smiled and winked at her. Then he disappeared. Marjorie stared at her where he had been, goggle-eyed.
As she began running along the sand, a voice in her mind demanded to know what she was doing. Her response was to run faster, as if to outrun the voice. When she didn’t answer, it grew shriller and shriller.
She began to pant, and her limbs grew heavier and heavier. Elizabeth tried closing her eyes, and thinking about her sister Ramona. The briny smell of the ocean filled her nostrils. The rising panic threatened to engulf her.
Elizabeth opened her eyes, and saw that she was only a couple of feet from the water. By a supreme act of will, she threw herself into the surf. The cold water was a shock to her system. Panic exploded in her chest like a pocket of noxious gas. She couldn’t breathe!
Fighting to retain her reason, Elizabeth thrust herself upward. Her head broke the surface, and she took a deep breath. Then she gagged on some saltwater she swallowed by accident. Then she forced her eyes open, to see where Ramona was. The saltwater burned her eyes, but she ignored it.
There! Ramona was bobbing like a cork, her flailing growing weaker. She took a deep breath, and dived back down. She thrust out with her arms, while kicking with her feet. Muscle memory began asserting itself, and she fell into a natural rhythm. Endorphins began flooding into her brain.
She soon reached Ramona, and put her arm under her sister’s armpits. Ramona started to panic, and started flailing again. Elizabeth treaded water as she said, “Stop it! You’ll pull us both down!”
Ramona didn’t stop it. She continued to flail. Elizabeth said, “Stop struggling, or so help me God, I’ll let go of you!”
Ramona still refused to listen. Elizabeth loosened her grip on her younger sister. With a gurgling cry, Ramona went limp in her arms. Elizabeth tightened her grip, and began using a modified breaststroke, using her feet to propel her.
Her muscles began to ache from the unfamiliar exercise, and then to burn. The shore seemed so far away. Elizabeth began to be assailed by doubts. Then she heard the cheering from the crowd on the beach, and felt a renewed surge of energy.
Her feet touched bottom, and Elizabeth felt a surge of elation. She stood up, and began walking toward the beach, dragging Ramona behind her. The roar of the crowd rose to a crescendo. Then a riptide grabbed her, trying to pull her back to sea.
Elizabeth stumbled, and clutched her sister tighter. People began surging out in the water. Hands pulled away Ramona, and dragged her onto the beach. They were wrapped in beach towels. First aid was administered to Ramona, who began coughing up great gouts of seawater.
Elizabeth was told over and over again that she was a great hero, but she was only interested in the old man who had driven her to do it. However, whenever she asked about him, she was met only with blank stares.
Then Marjorie came up to her, looking solemn. She said, “‘Lizabeth, the old man go bye-bye.” Then she waved for emphasis. It was at this point that Elizabeth fainted.
