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i don’t understand

Linda M. Crate

all my life
i have been
jealous
that you loved her
so vibrantly and so loudly

i was the plant
that had to live off of
scraps of love and little water,

but i saw how you watered her
and nurtured her and every choice she made;

no matter what she did she could
do no wrong and i could do
no right—

you wanted to cage me,
but i was a wild bird and all i could do
was fly;
but you didn’t like defiance so you held it against me
that you didn’t understand the language
of my heart or soul or the mythology of my bones

when i tried to explain this to you
it became a hostile conversation—

“you don’t understand me, either.”

no, dad, i don’t;
i don’t understand a man who would
bury his daughter when she was still living.

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