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 “Lifeboat”
Down in the Dirt, v190 (the 12/21 Issue)



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Elena Botts

    No one will close my eyes when I die. If you don’t love me then, why now? I don’t want a present, or a beautiful day with you. We’ve had many days, beautiful days. I have had a beautiful life. If you want to come disturb my sleep, come and put my bones in the snow or scatter my ashes.
    She loves me forever, regardless. She doesn’t, also. I saw her. Warm day, wind, a feeling like the onset of early spring, snow just melting. Unremitting tiredness, rare joy. The moon appeared above small shifting clouds, engulfed and then relinquished from these mists. What futures are there as I keep my aim? Who awaits? The rooms are empty in the house but soon to be filled. The sun passes through every angle. She has the beautiful face of someone I know, but who am I to be in this life? What great pain, great sorrow, I am grateful too.
    Some days I stay in my room. I don’t know what I am but you’re always my beloved.



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