---

 

This writing was accepted for publication in the 108 page perfect-bound ISSN# / ISBN# issue/book “Impeccable Warriors” Down in the Dirt, v191 (the 1/22 Issue) Order the paperback book:

Order this writing that appears in the one-of-a-kind anthology The Ice that Was the Down in the Dirt Jan.-April 2022 issues collection book		get the 420 page Jan.-April 2022 Down in the Dirt 6" x 9" ISBN# perfect-bound paperback book:

Order this writing in the book Running Out of Time the 2022 poetry, flash fiction, prose, & art collection anthology		get the one-of-a-kind poetry, flash fiction, prose, artwork & photography collection anthology as a 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback book:

I thought of you caught in that riptide

Elena Botts

I felt as sad as that time we met:
as if some relative I hadn’t met had gone
into the grace or some treasured memory of childhood
now just a collection of light, smell, sound.
I am sorry of how I spoke of others, of many small cruelties
I am sorry even for my remarks
because in turning you down in certain ways
even if you can’t accept
I should be more forthcoming
- I have been mean.
it would be better if I said we saw different things
or that I did not feel the same.
the truth is more complex, it has been in many ways addressed
I have told you in many ways I am faithless
and my romances die. I think it is just a way to get to know
I cannot be romantically towards you right now
but I want to honor your bravery
your kindnesses have felt both cruel and kind,
I don’t want to partake in these arguments as I have said what I’ve said.
I think it more dignified to grant you whatever space or time
regardless of what you want to think of what I say, I don’t really want to go on in repetition.
I have no real comment on how you see me: it brings both sadness and joy
to see you sad and joyful. you must know
it is with great faith that I doubt you
I don’t want to give you some ready word:
I want to think of you as powerful regardless.
I am glad you have the courage to move beyond that and tell me how you felt
I am in this not knowing so I give not knowing- I know little else.
this is quite honestly the way I feel and sure
maybe I see it all wrong
maybe my withdrawal is a greater incursion
but I am more afraid of trespass.
I’ll be around hoping to be a better friend,
glad you are what you are already,
hoping for the best for you.

Copyright of written pieces remain with the author, who has allowed it to be shown through Scars Publications and Design.Web site © Scars Publications and Design. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted without express permission from the author.

Problems with this page? Then deal with it...