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Order this writing that appears in the one-of-a-kind anthology The Ice that Was the Down in the Dirt Jan.-April 2022 issues collection book		get the 420 page Jan.-April 2022 Down in the Dirt 6" x 9" ISBN# perfect-bound paperback book:

sure, you love

Elena Botts

alway driving me to the furthest point on the horizon
until what does the moon mean
when often you pretend to lack

what are you, courage
to look out for all others, for me
i in my also watchtower just looking for you
never thinking of my own back
except where falls the shadow
long evening now trying to do that for you through all these circles you take me in.

sure, part ways with me, “do whatever you want”.
we can sit on those steps, or you can disappear
between tree branches
over the james, knowing all hearts will be broken
go!, for the right reasons, maybe it resonates.

or if you really were you could make your own
and love freely, in distance or closeness, overcome these bitter and oblong thoughts.
i don’t mind space but i mind

what feels like a mean
self protection, this, simply because
i know you are not like that.

but another bird against the porch window,
against the mountain:
maybe i am seeing it all wrong
i think this is something that’s haunted you for awhile on and off.

pulling away doesn’t change
that i’m affected by it- somehow
(in this or that river)
by so doing you even have made it harder

for me to be peacefully alone by transferring this spectre onto me.
though i lie here
in peace, alone.

i feel as though i have lost a member of my family to some awful shame, i’ve cried about it and despaired through the hours of every day.
you know, “i am yours to die”/ maybe now that i have said it i will remember peace
because i actually love you and want to be devoted to you in distance and in closeness.

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