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Imagine

Gunther Boccius

    Charlton Heston’s Moses went up the mountain to see God. He came down with three stone tablets containing all the commandments guiding people’s lives for many millennia. One tablet slipped from his grasp, fell on a sharp rock and broke into many small pieces. Prior to his ascent, he had told his supporters, of which there were many; nothing could pry the tablets “out of my cold dead hands.”
    Not having Super Glue in his robes and not wanting his people to know he had failed, he kicked the broken pieces into the remnant ashes of the Burning Bush purportedly set fire by a cheney. Continuing down the mountain and, to much acclaim, Moses announced to the assembled masses that the Ten Commandments he had brought them included “everything you would ever want to know about anything.”
    The broken tablet had included map directions on how to get to the Presidential executive bathroom, the nuclear launch codes for the United States, China, Russia, North Korea and Iran and finally, the direct dialing number to Osama bin Laden’s cell phone.
    You know, you never know. Moses had been right about the other two tablets.
    Many eons later, a wandering shepherd discovered all of the broken pieces of the lost stone tablet. Carrying Super Glue in his pocket in case he ever broke his staff, he mended the artifact. Unable to decipher the ancient dialect on the repaired document, he sold it on eBay to a young man named John Lennon.
    John had the keeper of the shop where he pawned his guitar translate it. He used the words written on his pawn slip as the lyrics for his song “Imagine.”

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