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so effortlessly

Linda M. Crate

you wanted me to be everyone but me,
and i don’t know what was so offensive about
who i was but you didn’t like her no matter
how hard i tried to be a good daughter
i was just a disgrace to you;

do you know what it is like to know
no matter how hard you try you’ll never
be good enough?

all i needed was love, some grace, and some
compassion;

instead you used your own trauma as a
weapon against me and wounded me for your
own amusement as if your lack of therapy
was yet another thing you could blame on me—

i love you but you hurt me,
and i’m allowed to say that;
you never apologized for all these wounds
that are still open in my heart—

i have seen the way you love my sister so
effortlessly,
and i wonder why couldn’t you love me that way?

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