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A Dangerous Intersection

A. L. F. Fagan

    To whomever finds this letter, please share it with my sons Jack and William, my ex-wife Tiffany, and my sisters Helen and Rhonda. To all of you, please try to understand and forgive me for all that I've done in the past and for leaving this way. I want you to know that I love you all. I don't do this to hurt any of you, but I can no longer live with myself and all the pain and death that I've helped cause. Thankfully, Mom and Dad are gone. I couldn't do this if they were still alive. I hope to see them on the other side. I hope they and God will forgive me.
    We all make mistakes in our lives; no one is perfect. But what I've done goes far beyond simple mistakes. I've finally opened my eyes and seen the destruction that I've had a hand in. There are no excuses. It was wrong, plain and simple.
    I have spent over forty years with the same employer. I was loyal; I didn't ask questions or rock the boat. In the early years, that was the right thing to do. Working for a large pharmaceutical company was something that I'd hoped for as a young college student. The first half of my career is something that I am still proud of. Our company made many advances and medical breakthroughs. We helped people. If only we had stayed on that path.
    Somewhere along the way, though, our moral compass failed us, and we became seduced by the huge profits obtained from selling highly addictive painkillers. Many of us knew the dangers of what we were doing, but we all remained silent and collected our bonuses. The powers that be praised our success, even though they must have known the inevitable catastrophe that would engulf unsuspecting patients. As the epidemic of addiction began to grow, they insulated themselves in a cocoon of double-talk and legalese. The overdoses and shattered lives were nothing more than empty statistics to them. They acted as though they were invincible, and it is easy to see why-no one was going to bring this to a halt early on. Who was there to stop us? Many doctors were comfortably in bed with us. Government regulators did nothing to halt what we were doing. Our stocks were sky-high; we were an American success story. And when the diabolical side of this would become obvious for all to see, the corporate big shots knew that no real punishment would be inflicted. White, wealthy, and well-connected people have always been able to escape real justice. Perhaps they always will.
    Some financial settlements have been made, but many of them have been pennies on the dollar. Sometimes money is the cheapest form of atonement out there. The sad truth is that without meaningful change, this could happen again. It is like a dangerous intersection that doesn't get a traffic light until there have been a certain number of accidents. This is America, and we can't seem to bring ourselves to do anything without a body count. If we fail to act, then never again will just be an empty phrase used to ease a guilty conscience.
    There is nothing, however, that will ease my conscience. I can no longer rationalize this evil by saying it was the company, not me. I should have blown the whistle any way possible, but instead I remained silent like a coward. I can no longer live with my guilt and shame. To all my family and friends, please learn from my mistakes and never lose sight of right and wrong. Be brave. Real courage means standing up for what is right, especially when it is the difficult thing to do. I was afraid to risk anything. Now I see that my inaction has caused me to lose everything. I am so, so sorry.

Regretfully,
V. M. Askins

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