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Paint a Picture

Alexis Garcia

    Stephanie fiddles with the chain on her gold necklace with a star attached. She looks at her cable box every few seconds, keeping track of the time.
    “Come on dammit!” she yells as the star falls onto the floor.
    Once she picks up the star, she returns to attempt to remove the pesky knot that was causing her current disturbance. Much to her delight, she has rid the chain of its knot and puts on the necklace. With a sudden push, she is able to fasten it. She looks in the mirror briefly and wipes off some of the eyeliner from her bottom eyelid. Stephanie leaves her room and walks to the kitchen. She hears a noise and smiles.
    After heating up her food in the microwave, she grabs another plate and turns to face the table and is startled by her mother, Valerie.
    “Why do you always jump like that?” Valerie laughs.
    “You always come out of nowhere,” Stephanie responds.
    “Who else would it be?
    “True.”
    Stephanie goes to the stove and grabs the serving spoon.
    “Oh, I’m not eating,” Valerie says.
    “Since when are you not hungry?” Stephanie asks, with a puzzled look.
    She sits at the table and starts to eat the meal she’s made countless times this month - white rice with chicken legs. Valerie looks down and plays with her hands. Stephanie swallows hard, wondering what is occupying her mother’s mind. Even in all her years, she had trouble predicting what was going to come out of her mouth. It was either something that she repeated several times before or something completely new to throw her off. She suspected it might be the latter.
    “Come on, spit it out,” Stephanie says with food in her mouth.
    “Aren’t you tired of eating that?” Valerie asks. “Switch it up sometimes.”
    “I could never please you. At least be happy I’m cooking now.”
    “And you still can’t take a joke.”
    Stephanie’s phone vibrates several times. She glances quickly at her screen and smiles at the name, Mariela. Valerie glances at Stephanie’s phone as well and sighs. Stephanie continues to scarf down her food, slightly afraid of what is lingering in her mother’s mind. Valerie sets her elbow on the table and rests her cheek in her palm.
    “I just - ” Valerie continues. “Aren’t you getting tired of this?”
    “Mom,” Stephanie says. “When have you known me to get tired of my routines?”
    Stephanie’s phone vibrates once more. She sucks her teeth and flips her phone face down. Valerie flips it to its original position.
    “Maybe you should write back to her,” Valerie suggests. “Unless of course, you want her to think you are purposely ignoring her.”
    “I’m not purposely,/I> ignoring her,” Stephanie insists. “Didn’t you always complain about me being on my phone when I’m with you?”
    “And according to you, I complained about a lot of things. But like most of them, they usually go in one ear and out the other.”
    Stephanie gets up and puts her plate in the sink. She takes the last few gulps of her drink and puts the cup with the plate. She hesitates for a few seconds and starts to wash the dishes.
    “Why don’t you invite her over sometime?” Valerie asks, playing with a random toothpick on the table. Stephanie sits back down and puts her head in her hands.
    “Your obsession with wanting me to bring someone over is starting to get alarming,” Stephanie laughs. “And besides, I can’t. You’re here. She won’t understand. I don’t think anyone ever will.”
    “You know why I’m here. Until you work through it, I’ll still be here and you’ll be stopping yourself from being happy and for what? I’ve never wanted that. No mother would. You deserve to have a great, fun-filled life.”
    Stephanie lowers her head in defeat. When she looks up slightly, she notices that her mother is gone. Panic rushes over Stephanie for a moment. Her eyes begin to water. She stands and walks into her living room. Valerie is sitting on the leather recliner, wrapped in her favorite blanket.
    “This is not the life I envisioned you living,” she says, pulling the lever on the side and lying back in the recliner. Stephanie plants herself on the couch and turns on the T.V. She scrolls through a list of recorded shows.
    “Do you think I envisioned losing you so soon?” Stephanie says as her voice cracks. “I wasn’t ready for that. How could I be?”
    Valerie gets up from the recliner and sits beside her daughter. Stephanie looks away from her, hiding the fact that she is about to start crying. Those tears would just save themselves for an undesignated time later on, in addition to the next day and the day after, as had been the case since her mother succumbed to illness. Valerie rests her head on Stephanie’s shoulder. Although she cannot feel her, she appreciates the sentiment.
    “If you’re asking me to let you go a second time, I don’t think I can. I am not as strong as you think I’m capable of being.”
    Even in the event of her mother’s death, Stephanie hated for her mother to see her cry. When it came to Valerie’s illness, she couldn’t bear to see her once strong-willed and able-bodied mother become so frail as the time went on. The flame inside of her was dwindling with each passing day and Stephanie tried her absolute best to not let her mother see her falling apart. They were a team.
    Valerie stood up and went back to the recliner. Stephanie grabs one of the couch pillows and lies down. She didn’t usually nap at this time but an overwhelming feeling of fatigue took over. She fought to keep her eyes open, turning her head to look at Valerie.
    “If you’re tired, go to sleep,” Valerie says. “It’s okay. You’ll be okay.”

    Stephanie awakes the next day on the couch, still in the same clothes from the previous day. She touches her chest and notices that the necklace is no longer there. She gets up quickly and panics briefly until she sees the necklace by the T.V. She smiles. After getting ready for the day, Stephanie leaves her home to run some errands. She keeps an eye on the time so that she makes sure to be back home in time for dinner with her mother.
    Stephanie text messages Mariela, apologizing for being distant and assuring her of how she feels about her. Stephanie wants to spend time with her, but isn’t sure of how to divide her time between her and Valerie. She hated keeping secrets but there seemed to be no other way to handle her situation. What if it scares Mariela away for good? Once Stephanie arrives home, she starts to make dinner. She plays a video game, raising the volume. There is an eerie feeling when the apartment is too quiet.
    Stephanie pauses her game. She wonders how often Valerie keeps watch over her. A chill passes through her. Her dinner’s ready and she puts on her necklace. She has no trouble today. She fixes herself up and walks to the kitchen. There is no other sound heard except for her footsteps. Stephanie heats up her food in the microwave. Still nothing. She turns around, expecting to be startled. Valerie is not there. There is a stinging feeling in Stephanie’s throat.
    “Ma?” Stephanie says. There is no response. Her hands begin to shake. She places her plate on the table. Stephanie walks to the recliner and sees her mother’s favorite blanket folded.
    “Why would you do this to me?” Stephanie’s eyes begin to water. She rubs them and sighs heavily. “The least you can do is answer me. You could’ve let me have a proper goodbye this time. Ma!”
    A stream of tears roll down her cheeks as she throws herself into the recliner. She lets go and succumbs to her sadness. Stephanie wraps herself in Valerie’s blanket. She sniffs it for any hint of her mother’s scent. There is none. Her world is imploding. Her mother is truly gone. She feels the loss as intensely as she did when she found her mother dead in her sleep. Stephanie had been left abruptly both times and in both, she should’ve been expecting it. She takes out her phone and hesitates for a moment. She begins to type a text message.

    Stephanie wakes up to her doorbell ringing. Her head is pounding. She carefully takes off her mother’s blanket and walks to the front door. Once she opens it, she sees Mariela standing there, with a large bag of food in hand. Mariela sees Stephanie’s puffy eyes and immediately embraces her.
    “I would’ve gotten here much sooner, but they messed up the order,” Mariela says.
    “You’re here now, that’s all I care about,” Stephanie says, squeezing her tight.

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