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Love and Dental Work

Mariel Cariker

You are like a tootsie pop
sweet and rich,
I have to nearly break my teeth
to get to the saccharine center,
roll you over my tongue until you've grazed
every taste bud,
and leave a cavity between my two front teeth.

I feel a phantom hand in mine
when the dentist tells me the novocain shot will
pinch,
that the numbness could travel up as far as my eye
but don't worry,
it's normal.
It's temporary.

I've had a lot of dental work
I've cracked my jaw on the bottom of a pool’s shallow end
had my wisdom teeth yanked
had an inch long tooth removed from the roof of my mouth
I know the drill,
know how it sounds when it hits bone,
a hollow whine.

I’ve spent a lot of post-surgery recovery on my couch by myself,
accidentally biting my gums
and swishing metallic medical mouthwash to avoid infection.
When I wake up sweating
from unpleasant codeine dreams
I feel safe with you next to me.

I can't stand the only soft foods diet.
When I grumble and complain
you make me a smoothie with too many strawberries.
Not enough protein,
not enough potassium.
But it's so delicious
and I keep asking for more
with a seed stuck in every tooth.

During my inevitable major brain freeze,
you smile and wipe gooped juice
from my senseless, swollen lip with the side of your thumb.
I put my tongue on the roof of my mouth
to ease the pain,
pushing past gauze,
which just hurts more.
I focus on the little gaps between your teeth,
thinking fondly of all the poppy seeds
that have temporarily lived there.
I want an everything bagel,
but I know enough about dental discomfort
to settle for liquid fruit.

We fall asleep on the couch
with your arms around my stomach
harboring crushed lollipop coating and too many strawberries
and before I drift off you shift to the other side
face the back of the couch
away from all the sweetness you left me with.
You always told me you couldn't fall asleep
without shifting at least once.
I roll over and hold you tighter,
holding these small pieces of your life,
of you,
like candy in my pocket.

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