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“Moving Forward”
cc&d, v329 (the January 2023 issue)
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Moving Forward

James Mulhern

Mornings I injected insulin into my dog
and made sure she had enough water.
To see her wobbling pained me.

Sometimes, she collapsed onto the cold tile,
peed blood in the yard,
or bumped into walls.

One day she could no longer hold her urine.
I bought diapers, which always fell off.
When she had that look, I carried her to the yard.

My mother said, “Can’t you put her to sleep?”
I said, “When you become incontinent, I should do the same?”
“Guess not,” she answered.

Eventually, I had to euthanize her, Ethel that is.
The young woman at the desk said, “Sorry for your loss.”
I bent over the steering wheel and cried, then drove off.

My mother, eighty-two, is losing her sight.
She depends on audiobooks and the largest fonts.
Her body is filled with metal—
multiple surgeries on her spine and leg.

Someday she’ll die.
When I see her walker, I’ll remember her resolve to move forward.
How she listened and told me through dim blue eyes,
“I love you, sweetheart.”

All of the living are broken
and our problems continue to accumulate.
It’s how we care for others, show love, and move forward
that helps us become whole again.



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