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A Whole Nest of ‘Em

Bill Tope

The two heavily armed men alighted
from their Hummer in the fallow corn
field, stretched their limbs and took
stock. The first one said, “I wish we’d
brought more firepower, you know?”

The other fellow shrugged, hefted his
AR-15, said: “This’ll do me just fine,
Lenny.” He took a sighting along the
tree line of the distant forest. Lenny
frowned. “Sure,” he said, “you got your
Franken-gun; all I gots this piece of shit
Winchester.”

The other man smirked. “You had your
chance at the gun show on Saturday.
You’re the one refused to put down
twelve large for a decent weapon.” Lenny
winced. “Yeah, well, my daughter needs
braces,” he pointed out.

“Priorities, Lenny,” scolded his friend. “You
got to set your priorities.” Lenny shrugged.
“I guess you’re right.” As the team moved
into the woods , Lenny raised his firearm and
took aim at a flock of migrating geese, but
the other man stopped him. “Don’t waste your
ammo, son. We got bigger game to hunt.
Besides, the world needs more geese.”

“How do you know they’re in there?” Lenny
inquired. “I do my homework,” replied the other
man. “Use scouts. There’s a whole nest of ‘em
about a mile into the reserve.” Taking point, he
led the way.

Finally, the two hunters came upon an
encampment: tents, crackling fires, grilling meat
and open cans of beer everywhere. About twenty
men milled about, unaware of their presence.
Lenny whispered, “You sure this is it? Are you
positive we got the right place!” he asked
earnestly.

“Abso-damn-lutely,” said the other man. “Pick a
target, son.” And before he opened fire with his
own AR-15 he added, “You know state law like I
do, Lenny: first get ‘em outta’ the libraries, then
outta’ government, and finally, at long last, it’s
open season on poofs.



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