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This writing was accepted for publication in the 108 page perfect-bound ISSN# / ISBN# issue/book “Web” Down in the Dirt, v204 (2/23) Order the paperback book:

Order this writing that appears in the one-of-a-kind anthology Forbidden Library the Down in the Dirt Jan.-April 2023 issues collection book		get the 420 page Jan.-April 2023 Down in the Dirt 6" x 9" ISBN# perfect-bound paperback book:

For the Record

Joanne Holdrige

Some people put all season
all weather radial tires on their cars
a hedge against bad weather
my grandfather radiated anger
to keep himself at a distance
from love, human vulnerability
my grandmother’s fortress
bulwark against inconvenient truth
was her signature sweater

She wore that scratchy pink wool
for trips by car, plane, bus or train
to weddings, funerals, graduations
out on errands, that once she moved
to New Hampshire, took all day
for six decades she knitted
the pink cardigan duplicates
and sewed the sweetheart buttons
spaced precisely down the front herself
until her fingers got so knotted
with arthritis, she paid someone
she knew at church to knit
the necessary replacements for her

She’s wearing it even in the home movie
I find hidden at the bottom of a trunk
in the basement after her funeral
labeled in her spidery script, Nov.1964
Douglas with Joanne as a baby
my mother’s behind the camera
recording for posterity my young father
balancing me on top of his head as he descends
the 94 cement steps from his parents
big house on the hill to the street below
belly down, I wobble unsteadily on top
of his light brown crew cut hair
while my grandmother stands
framed in the black front door
wearing her pink sweater
with the sweetheart buttons
face a straight line of disapproval
but she waves with both hands
when my father looks up toward her
and mouths, Look, Mother, no hands!

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