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Political Animals

Carol Murphy

    I watched from my bedroom window as a squirrel and a chipmunk scurried around in my trees, running for the office of Backyard Director.
    They couldn’t make rational speeches although they might have uttered animalese or rodentese. It was hard to tell from their chatter. The squirrel was noticeably louder. That much was certain.
    The chipmunk climbed the largest oak tree carrying a yellow piece of paper with writing on it, a sign perhaps. The squirrel jumped from another branch, screeched, waved her tail furiously, grabbed the paper and carried it over the fence. The neighbor’s dogs that sometimes snuck under the fence yowled. Were they for the chipmunk or the squirrel? Did it matter? They were on their side of a huge fence.
    The shenanigans were tiring to watch. I took stock of their positive and negative attributes.
    One, it was well known that both were hoarders. They both buried acorns. How else would oak trees multiply? Many were forgotten, but that is the way of concealed things. There were no saplings where we buried the bulldog, perhaps a place haunted by her. Anyway, she would have had empathy for fenced dogs.
    Second, their families were significant, numerous and protected. A hawk had perched itself high up, hiding, but the mother squirrel quickly spied it and screeched, alerting the mother chipmunk. All fled.
    But, like all animals, they had negative qualities. The squirrel drove her brood nuts with constant nagging. The chipmunk sometimes forgot to feed her young. Both rodents were so busy, sometimes they wouldn’t come home until nightfall. But inevitably the next day all would be sitting happily on a branch. If you’re a workaholic, that trait is passed on to those who would inherently understand.
    Their campaign waged as both positioned themselves to yell at each other. Two rabbits, some quail and even a rat watched, looking bewildered.
    My three year old granddaughter joined me at the window. “Mimi, look an animal rally like people have on TV!”
    Rally? Does she watch too much TV? “Maybe animals have elections.”
    “Elections? Mimi, let’s play. Where’s my Anna doll? You be the evil queen.”
    Is there an evil queen in Frozen? Swirling differences between reality and make-believe surround me.
    “The cats are chasing the animals away.” She threw Anna down, forgetting the evil queen.
    Two cats rounded the corner. Ground animals scattered. The rodents stood firm, yelling at the cats and forgetting cats chase rodents. One cat jumped on a branch, landed between them, sent both contenders over the fence and started the dogs barking again.
    Nevertheless they are rodents, cute and furry, but also destructive. Some squirrels got into a nearby house and went crazy. A neighbor set fire to his pasture by putting flares down ground squirrel holes to annihilate them.
    This battle for backyard director appeared over.
    In our election, the two sides seemed to detest each other. Are we bamboozled with reality versus make-believe? Are we just a bunch of chattering rodents?

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