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Testing

Richard K. Williams

It happens nearly every day.
I arrive at a business, eldercare,
or school, to perform the annual
fire alarm system test.

I explain that I will be testing
the fire alarm system.
The first question is always
“Will you be making noise?”
“Yes.” I reply. I will have
to test the horns and strobes
at some point.

They then look at me
as if I just informed them
they have contracted
syphilis, or I have to
put their dog to sleep.

Some will groan
as if this were the
worst news ever.
That I should have
the nerve to disrupt
their day, for verifying
the proper operation of
their life safety system.

I then inform them that
I can begin testing Heats,
smokes, and pulls, silently.
This is when a death row pardon
look of relief covers their face.

When finally, I’m given permission
to sound the horns and strobes.
The entire time they are
blaring their temporal tone
while the strobes flash in sync
takes on average five to
seven minutes.

While I dash in and out
of every room in the place
verifying proper device operation.
Which in my mind is
tougher on me than them
having to listen to it.
But I do get paid
to do the testing.

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