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 “Floating Island”
Down in the Dirt, v206 (4/23)



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Reporting The News

Brian J. Pilling

Tripping over spiked heels, the girl from downstairs waves as she gets out of her parked car, a partially restored Karmann Ghia convertible. She yells up to a pimple-faced teenager. “Are you copping a look at my front grille again?” The boy’s face turns beet red as Jeannette poses and turns. “What do you like better, my raised headlights or my rounded taillights?”

At first glance Jeanette “The Body” Ventura leaves no doubt that she would have earned the nickname. As she tells the story, her parents wanted a J-name to honor the bad-guy wrestler Jesse Ventura. “My dead-beat dad was a big fan.” Jeannette proudly describes herself as “white trailer-trash,” and it might also explain her more bitter than sweet personality, except that the entire story is a lie. Jeannette was born the year before Ventura’s debut, and her parents are Ivy League educated.

Later, watching Jeannette report the news, everyone laughs. “It’s as if Jerry Springer and Kim Kardashian decided had a love child.”



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