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Temp Agency Worker as Baywatch Babe

Alan Catlin

Maybe the temp agency had a sick
sense of humor. Or, perhaps they had
run out of capable workers and were
forced to activate Pamela Anderson
clone robots to see if they worked.

The tag on the young woman’s polyester
uniform short said Candace, though it
could just as easily said Exotica and
you could find her on Craig’s List as
a specialty act for private parties
and bachelor gigs that never had a
dissatisfied customer. Depositions at
divorce proceedings after one of her
shows don’t count.

Not that Candace couldn’t handle the
less than demanding new position which
seemed to be little more than strapping
an old guy into a wheelchair, pushing him
onto a veranda, and changing his locations
depending on the angle of the sun.
Registered nurses in charge of the place
had specially trained help to do the diapers
and to feed the codger mush three times a day.

And it wasn’t really Candace’s fault she
bore more than a passing resemblance to
Ms. Anderson, with all of her back stories,
than ranged from sordid to tacky, and pretty
much everything in between. So, when a
connection is made between the temp and
a porn star who named her breasts: Candy and
Apple, then scrolled the words in
tattoo ink on her tits, starred in a hundred
adult movies, and even garnered some awards
for her performances under some of the best
wood in the business, it really wasn’t her
fault, that people made these erroneous
assumptions about the real nature of her work.
All of it was unfair but life’s unfair.
And temporary.

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