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Social Management

Lenny Levine

    “I hate surprise parties.” Ingrid leaned back against the wall of the elevator as Carl pressed the button marked Penthouse and the doors closed. “And I especially hate going to a surprise party for Todd Hendricks.”
    “You’ll get through it,” said Carl.
    “Now, if it was his funeral, that would be something I’d gladly attend.”
    Carl chuckled. “A surprise funeral. Interesting concept.”
    “You know what I mean.” Ingrid pursed her lips in annoyance as Carl glanced sideways at her.
    “You think I like doing this any more than you do?”
    She stared straight ahead.
    “I honestly don’t know. And I honestly don’t know why we’re supposed to kiss this guy’s ass. You got the MagnaCorp account, not him. He just stepped in at the end and took the credit.”
    Carl breathed in deeply, then slowly exhaled.
    “That’s why he gets to be a senior executive. Can we not talk about it? We have to pretend to love this asshole for the next three hours.”
    “And his bitchy wife; don’t forget her.”
    Carl grunted. Then they both were silent as the elevator ascended.
    It reached the penthouse floor. The doors opened to reveal a spacious apartment with birthday decorations festooning the walls. Dozens of balloons floated lazily about. Forty or so people were helping themselves to drinks, canapes, and hors d’oeuvres.
    In front of it all stood Grace Hendricks, wife of the birthday boy, replete with a radiant smile.
    “Carl! Ingrid!” she gushed. “I’m so glad you could come! It wouldn’t be the same if you weren’t here. You’re so special to Todd.”
    “No way we’d miss it!” said Carl, stepping out of the elevator and giving her his own megawatt smile.
    “Absolutely,” Ingrid added, beaming. “And you look gorgeous, Grace!”
    “Oh, please. Not nearly as gorgeous as you do. But then, you always look terrific.”
    Ingrid reached out and embraced her. Carl did the same, giving her a peck on the cheek as well.
    “Technically, this isn’t Todd’s birthday,” Grace explained. “It’s actually tomorrow. We’re supposed to celebrate it at the lake house, and he thinks I’m up there right now, getting things ready. He has no idea.” Her eyes twinkled mischievously. “His office just called and said he’s on his way, so it should be about twenty minutes. In the meantime, enjoy! I think you know most of these people...” She gazed around at the assembled celebrants.
    “Some of our nearest and dearest,” said Carl.
    “The best and the brightest,” said Ingrid.
    “Well, great! I’ll leave you to it, then.” She glanced toward the kitchen. “Will you excuse me? There’s something I need to check on.”
    “I’ll bet it’s delicious!” said Carl. Ingrid laughed supportively.
    Grace gave them one more dazzling smile. Then she stepped away.

    The smile disappeared as soon as she hit the kitchen.
    “God, I hate them,” she muttered as her sister Ruth looked up from the lasagna she was getting ready to pop into the oven.
    “Who do you hate this time?”
    “Look, don’t start on me, okay?”
    “I’m not starting anything; I was just curious.”
    Grace grabbed a napkin and blotted at the place on her cheek where Carl had kissed her.
    “Carl and Ingrid Sanderson. They’re so unctuous and smarmy, it makes my flesh crawl.”
    Ruth opened the oven door.
    “Isn’t he the hotshot who’s after Todd’s job?”
    “The very same. It killed me to invite them, but it would have looked funny if I didn’t.”
    “I hear you.” Ruth slid the lasagna inside. “It’s the same with the catering business. It seems like everyone I hire tries to steal my clients.”
    Grace glanced over at Eduardo and Maria, Ruth’s assistants, who were on the other side of the kitchen preparing the salad. She leaned in close and whispered in Ruth’s ear.
    “At least you don’t have to worry about them. They can’t even speak English.”
    “Some of my clients don’t speak English either,” Ruth whispered back.
    Grace laughed.
    “Look, why don’t you let them do the work you pay them for? You don’t need to be in the kitchen. Join the party.”
    Ruth checked the oven temperature again, even though she knew it was fine.
    “If I have to,” she sighed.
    “You have to. Now, take off that apron and get out there with your friends.”
    “They’re your friends, not mine. I don’t even know half of them.”
    “Then you’ll have a chance to meet new people. In fact, Charlie Klein is here. He’s one of Todd’s college buddies, and he just got divorced.”
    “Wow, lucky me.” Ruth removed her apron, folded it, and placed it on a chair. She straightened her shoulders. “Okay, introduce me to him. But I have to get a drink first.”
    “That’s the spirit!” said Grace. “Pun intended.”
    “Heh, heh,” Ruth replied.
    One martini later, she was ready to meet this Charlie Klein. He turned out to be a short, skinny individual to whom she was not even remotely attracted. They mostly talked about his work, which was investment banking.
    “That’s fascinating!” she said as he made yet another obscure observation. “You must really love what you do.”
    “Well, I wouldn’t go that far. It’s a nice living, though.”
    “Oh, I’m sure it’s a whole lot more than that. Am I right?” She tilted her head and looked at him slyly.
    He gave her a shark’s grin.
    “Actually, you are. I was just being modest.”
    Ruth nodded. “I admire modesty in a man.”
    He suitably lowered his gaze.
    “Well, thank you. Grace tells me you’re catering this party. I must compliment you on the canapes; they’re some of the best I’ve ever had. I can’t wait for the rest of dinner.”
    Ruth saw this as her opportunity.
    “Neither can I, actually. I do need to get back to the kitchen to make sure everything’s on schedule. Would you excuse me, Charlie? Maybe we could talk some more later.”
    “I’d really like that,” he said.
    She flashed him a smile, then made her escape.

    Charlie took another sip of his scotch. I think I might be able to do something with that one, he thought as he stood gazing out the window at the city skyline. He knew no one at this party. Grace had told him she was inviting other Syracuse alums, but he couldn’t spot anyone who looked familiar, only these advertising types Todd worked with.
    He was checking his watch yet again when he heard his name being said.
    “Hey, is that Charlie Klein over there? I think it is.”
    He turned and looked in the direction of the sound, and there were Phil Gartner and his wife, whose name he couldn’t remember. Janet? Janice?
    Phil had been his fraternity brother back in the day, along with Todd. Janet (or Janice) had come into the picture during senior year, breaking up the Three Amigos, as they called themselves. Neither he nor Todd had liked her very much. In fact, Todd loathed her. He used to sneeringly refer to her as Phil’s skank.
    Charlie smiled broadly.
    “Hey, Phil!” he said. “How’re you doing?”
    Phil, a large, heavyset man, reached over and gave Charlie an enthusiastic bro hug, practically engulfing him in the process.
    “Can’t complain, can’t complain,” he said as he released Charlie. “You remember my wife, Janine, don’t you?”
    Janine, that’s what it was.
    “Sure I do. It’s so great to see you again!”
    “Same here!”
    She was just as he remembered her, a buxom, good-natured blonde woman with a loud voice.
    “It’s pretty amazing, isn’t it?” she said. “Todd’s turning forty! We’re all becoming middle-aged.”
    “Shh. Don’t say that too loud,” said Phil.
    Janine laughed. Then she looked around.
    “I’d better use the facilities before Todd makes his big arrival. Charlie, do you happen to know where they keep the bathroom in this place?”
    “I don’t. Sorry.”
    “Well, I’ll manage to find it. The two of you can tell dirty jokes while I’m gone.”
    She turned and began to make her way through the people.
    “Isn’t she something?” Phil said.
    “She sure is. You’re really lucky. I remember when you first brought her around to the fraternity house, Todd couldn’t get over it. He had a major crush on her.”
    Phil laughed. “I didn’t know that.”
    “Oh, yeah, it’s true.”
    Because he liked skanks, Charlie added silently.

    Janine, as she made her way across the room, actually didn’t need to use the bathroom. She just wanted to get away from Charlie Klein.
    She’d tolerated Phil’s friends when she first started going out with him because she had to. She remembered Charlie as a shifty little weasel whom nobody trusted, except for Phil, of course. His openness and vulnerability were what made her fall in love with him.
    It also made him prey to vultures like Charlie Klein and Todd Hendricks.
    Todd Hendricks. Just thinking about him made her queasy. What he’d done to her in the spare bedroom of the frat house the night they all got drunk, and Phil passed out, would stay with her forever. It would always be a gaping wound in her soul.
    She’d been relieved beyond measure when they’d all lost contact with each other shortly after graduation. Over the past eighteen years, she’d hardly thought about Todd Hendricks, except in occasional dark moments when it all came roaring back in vivid detail.
    Then Phil got the invitation to this party, and she’d nearly panicked. But she resolved to get through it, and she would, goddamn it!
    She looked around her. Where was the friggin’ bathroom, anyway? Now she really did have to go.
    As if on cue, Grace seemed to materialize beside her.
    “Can I help you, hon?”
    “Yes. I’m looking for the bathroom.”
    “Well, it’s right down that hallway, but could you hold on for just a few minutes? The doorman just called me, and Todd’s in the elevator right now, on his way up. I have to tell the others.”
    She turned to the room at large and bellowed, “Okay, everyone, get ready! Todd’s on his way up!”
    Janine hustled down the hallway toward the bathroom as if her life depended on it.

    Downstairs at the building’s entrance, Scott Walton, the doorman, hung up the intercom with an enigmatic smile.
    “For the first time in my life, I’m sorry to be going off duty,” he told Bill Clemens, the relief doorman who’d just arrived to replace him.
    “What do you mean?” said Bill.
    “You know Mr. Hendricks from the penthouse suite? Well, he’s in the elevator, on his way up.”
    “Yeah, so?”
    The enigmatic smile widened.
    “You’ll see. I might even hang around, myself.”

    Todd Hendricks stood in the middle of the elevator with one arm around a statuesque redhead with alabaster skin and the other around a beautiful Asian woman. They were top-of-the-line call girls, supplied by the dating service he used to keep his clients happy. The service had actually given him 10 percent off because he was such a valued customer.
    This was the last day he’d still be in his thirties. The wife was up at the lake house, and damn if he wasn’t gonna give himself a sendoff.
    His hands slipped down the women’s sides, and he gave their buttocks a squeeze as the redhead began to undo his belt buckle.
    Start early? Well, why not? No one’s getting on this elevator. Gotta make every minute count, baby.
    He smiled as he helped her undo his belt. Then he loosened his pants and slid them, along with his Jockey shorts, down to his ankles.
    All right! he thought blissfully. Let’s get this party started!

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