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This appears in a pre-2010 issue of Down in the Dirt magazine.
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Down in the Dirt v067



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in the 2009 book

Crawling
Through the Dirt


 Crawling Through the Dirt
this writing is in the collection book
Ink in my Blood (prose edition)
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 Ink in my Blood (prose edition)
Sign on the Dotted Line

Michael R. Young

    “Pa! Come quick, the Comanche done gone lit the barn on fire!”
    Grandpa was having another episode. Everyone in the church turned to face us. Mom’s face glowed red as dad unsuccessfully attempted to calm Grandpa. Chrissy began crying — her seven-year-old eyes hadn’t yet witnessed Grandpa this way. I just laughed.
    It would be one thing if Grandpa had some traumatic experience in his life. Or perhaps if he saw action in World War II. But no. He lived a calm life, painting houses for fifty years. Not once did he leave the country for vacation, let alone a war.
    His latest surge of schizophrenia was due to the fact that he had recently watched some terrible movie called The Searchers, in which John Wayne’s attempts to be close to a secret love are ruined by a Comanche raid. He has since been rubbing his forehead, in fear of being scalped.
    Yes, it was bad. But nothing compared to a post-Saving Private Ryan fit, which involved him throwing cans of soup at a shopping cart that, to him, resembled a German tank. Or, after The Matrix, pouring cups of water on a running vacuum so that it wouldn’t steal his brain. Don’t even ask about Jurassic Park.
    After the incident in God’s house, mom and dad decided to take him to Allentown’s New-Age Assisted Living, or ANAAL. Yes, ANAAL. I disagreed with their decision. For one, they could have at least picked one without an uncomfortable acronym. Secondly, it’s just not right to just dump (no pun intended) a sick family member off somewhere.
    So what if Grandpa had fantasies about what he saw on television? Just pop in some feel-good classics. It’s A Wonderful Life, or Field of Dreams would suffice.
    Instead, mom and dad just signed on a dotted line and we didn’t have to worry about Grandpa anymore.



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