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I met this strange fellow just a few minutes ago. I was walking down the street and suddenly, this guy grabs my left arm and whispers in my ear about some place where one finds a secret. I asked him: “What secret?” He replied: “Anyone you have.”
I started to rush off, but he didn’t let go of my arm and we swiftly moved side by side. This peculiar interaction continued for a few minutes until I stopped and said: “Are you nuts, man?” And he said: “Of course.”
Now, what kind of answer is that? I know there are all kinds of weirdoes in the city. But this guy really bothered me. He was very short, though not a midget, and dressed well, though not exactly the Madison Avenue type. He was his own type, and persistent to say the least.
I stared at him, and he stared back. And he asked me what my secret was. I simply laughed in his face. He didn’t care, for he laughed in my face louder and with total delight. When I asked him why, he roared.
I didn’t know what to do. Could easily have belted the guy with a left jab, or kicked him in the balls, but he was so small that any form of violence seemed inappropriate. Since I really didn’t want to go to my original destination, I decided to join the creep for a while and try to figure him out.
Later, I weakened a little bit. “Okay, I’ve got a secret,” I confessed. “But I won’t tell you what it is. Can you take me to this place anyway? You know, where you find a secret.”
Now he gets goofy on me and says in a quiet voice: “If you have a secret, why do you want to find one?” I tell the fellow he’s talking nonsense. He replies: “Nonsense?” Once again, I try to escape. But he’s with me all the way.
“Hey, what do you want from me?”
He grins sardonically and leaps into an abyss of silence. I wait.
“A secret,” he reveals from far away.
“Okay,” I whisper in his ear: “I’d like to touch my soul for a second, and remember.”
“Come with me,” he orders.
It’s a mystery and a journey into the unknown, exciting and adventurous. I’m going to a strange place, I think. Yet he takes me into the cafeteria across the street. I’m disappointed and I tell him.
“Must we travel far to arrive?” the odd fellow asks.
“Arrive where?”
“Where do you want to go?”
“Maybe to a place where I can touch my soul.”
We drink coffee. He has his black and I take mine regular. We talk about nothing much for a few hours. I tell him about myself and he listens. One thing about this guy-he’s a terrific listener. Well, I tell him a lot. And from time to time I say: “I’d give anything to touch my soul.”
He drinks the coffee and suddenly he laughs, boisterously, delightfully, magnificently, horribly, and painfully into my surprised face. I’m stunned. Don’t know what to say. Yet before I have a chance, he’s gone. Where? Anywhere, I guess. He left me sitting in the cafeteria, alone with my cup of coffee.
I feel unreal. Maybe I’m nuts. I mean, no one vanishes 1-2-3 when he’s sitting next to you in a cafeteria. Am I seeing things? Was the stranger a figment of my imagination? Or was he real and did he actually vanish? But no one vanishes in a fraction of a second.
Now I feel very tired. For a moment, I believe, I close my eyes. Can’t be sure. Time’s an illusion. But in any case, I travel far away and discover...I’m a prisoner sitting in the center of a small cell. Yet when I look around, there is a surreal metamorphosis and I’m trapped in a dark labyrinth from which there is no exit. Perhaps, I am dreaming, for events flow into other fluid events in a rapid stream of phantasmagoria...
Soon, I’m in a small rectangular or square room. My vision is blurred. The atmosphere is foggy. It’s not a cell or labyrinth. Yet I feel smothered by the dark mood it evokes and I gasp for breath in this miasma.
I float above a small crowd of people. Looking closer, I see the strangely familiar fellow stretched across this tiny room. Is he lying in a coffin? Am I in a funeral parlor or underground, hidden in ancient catacombs? Am I witnessing a group of mourners? Or are they members of a cult or cabal participating in a dark ritual? Is the man dead or alive?
Slowly, I descend toward the ghostly figure sprawled out in this tomblike space. His face is a blur but soon, I see clearly...his familiar face evokes terror...I recognize the man...in an uncanny moment of surprise and revelation...I meet my double...or perhaps, even weirder...myself-my moribund self, unconscious, comatose...surrounded by a team of doctors trying to resurrect me.
Suddenly, I merge with the other, vanishing inside his corpselike being. And I drift off again to a distant shore, as my medical team struggles to bring me back to human consciousness and life. Far away and nearby, I watch their heroic efforts. The room is filled with noble men and women with a calling. And although there are no humans in the room who really know me-no relative or friends waiting for my return, this team of strangers refuses to let me die, even though I tried to kill myself. To them, my life is precious. Isn’t that incredible?
Far away, in a beautiful place I can’t describe, I’m at peace. In the distance, I see the stranger. “I love you!” he cries out. And for a magical moment which seems to span eternity, I touch my soul. Don’t know why I wanted to die-what made life too much and death so appealing. I’m happy here-on the other side of reality and yet... The others beckon me to return and maybe, it’s not my time to go. This place...whatever it is...will always be here if I choose to leave...if I...
Now, I travel on a mystical path through a mysterious labyrinth. Perhaps, I am dreaming, for events flow into other fluid events in a rapid stream of phantasmagoria and...on one side of reality, I see the enchanting weirdo waving to me, blessing me with majestic words of hope and redemption, and on the other side of reality I see a team of strangers still struggling to resurrect me. Whom shall I join?
How far must I travel to touch my soul? It is almost time to choose. Yet I fear...if I choose life again... Will a veil of darkness cover me once more? What shall I do if I am swallowed again by the Shadows that lurk beneath consciousness? What shall I do?
