This appears in a pre-2010 issue of Down in the Dirt magazine.
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The ceiling was full of bullet holes; bodies of innocent people were lying on the ground throughout the bank, and the only thing that was left to do was to blow the safe.
“Do you know how crazy this is, man?”
“Yup.”
“And you’re just going to sit here and wait for the cops to show up so you can blow them sky high with all the bombs that are outside waiting for them?”
“Yup.”
“Dude, you’re out of your mind! All of this could go wrong in no time. What if the timers get reset, or if they decide to react to the call earlier than we expected? What then, Baron?”
“I guess we’ll have to use these things called guns we have in our hands and pump those pigs full of lead before they get the chance to do the same to us,” Baron snapped. “Look, Diego, I didn’t ask you to do this job with me because I knew you would be the one to puss out on me and decide to piss your pants when it all came down to it. I asked you to do this job with me because I thought you would be the one who stuck it out with me until we’re either filthy rich, in the back of a police car, or lying on the ground with smoke rolling out of the fresh holes in our chests and skulls.”
“WellÉ”
“Well what? Diego you’re already here, you’ve killed two people, and you helped set the bombs. What are you going to do besides go through with this?”
“You’re right,” Diego released with a strong sigh. “Let’s finish what we started, dead or alive. “
“Now that’s the Diego I know!”
Here’s the situation: Baron and I decided to rob a bank; well, he talked me into it. We set up small explosives in a ten square block radius, arranged two get-away cars, and three snipers up to two hundred yards away in different directions are watching all the immediate roads to the bank in case cops show up early. We’re all set to take on a small police force, but this is New York City, so there is no such thing as a small police force around here; we’ve got out work cut out for us.
“Diego, help me get these explosives on the vault. The quicker we get it done and over with the quicker we can get out of here to watch the show instead of being a part of it,” Baron shouted.
Diego ran to the vault with a small pouch. “Here you go, Baron.”
“Thanks. Now let’s blow this steel beauty down and see what we kind of government treasure we can find behind it.”
They set up three blocks of small plastic explosives, one in the center and two halfway towards the top corners. They stepped back twenty feet and set the bombs off; the vault blew right open.
“Mother of Christ, look at this! Look at all of this!” Baron shouted with delight. “There is absolutely nothing green in here!”
“It’s all gold? Every bit of it is gold?”
“That’s right. Everything that we came for is solid gold and is going home with us to Amsterdam.”
“But how is our plan going to work correctly in five minutes?” Diego asked cowardly.
“Five minutes is all we have left?”
“Yeah the cops will be here any minute, Baron. We need to get moving before they get within our snipers’ range of fire.”
“Then let’s get to it then.”
Baron and Diego began stuffing duffle bags full of the solid gold pieces stacked in two separate piles.
“Sniper one to Baron, we have four patrol vehicles heading your way with two S.W.A.T vans behind them. Estimated time lapse before they get to you is less than five minutes.”
“Do you have a shot?”
“Yes sir, but...”
“Take it.”
“But sir...”
“I said take the shot!”
“Yes sir, sniper one out.”
“Now, Diego, let’s finish what we came here to do and get the hell out of here.”
“Yes, sir!”
They stuffed as many golden bricks as they could into duffle bags and ran for the door, only to find twenty patrol cars, four K-9 units, and two S.W.A.T trucks in front of them.
“Sniper one! I thought you said there were six cars total!” Baron snapped.
“Yes, sir. That’s all we saw coming.”
“Then why the hell are we surrounded by pigs out here then?”
“Sir, I...”
“No worries,” Baron sighed. “Do you remember the back up plan?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Then follow through with it. Baron out. Diego, are you ready for the back up plan?” Baron asked turning around.
“One step ahead of you!” Diego said dashing back to the vault. He tossed both duffle bags to the back of the vault and ran back to Baron’s side. When he got there, Baron had his finger on the detonator, ready to press it at any moment.
“Hey, Baron, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Are you ready for what’s going to happen next?” Diego asked with a smile.
“Why, of course I am, Diego,” Baron said as he pressed the button.
Several blocks immediately crumbled to the ground, patrol cars blew sky high, and the bank collapsed, covering everything inside. Ambulances, fire trucks, and several more patrol cars arrived on the scene to help any survivors.
“Sniper one to snipers two and three, begin phase two of the heist.”
