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A strange way toward a tragic truth
Alexandre Sébastien
That night, a howling wind swept the streets of Camels Garden and wreathed in thunder clouds, a torrential rain was pouring down on the village. Sheets of lightning lit the sky from time to time, and Earl was aroused from his deep sleep by the sudden crashing of the window shutters in the storm. Rubbing his eyes wearily he glanced at the time; it was five by the alarm o’clock . Without warning, he was suddenly aware of faint whispers which seemed to be distant calls for help outside.
Confused and startled, he got out of bed and went to the window. Outside branches in the copse seemed to dance rhythmically and frenetically through the storm. Musing on the voice which still murmured in his head, it seemed to be that of a child. He peered into the darkness, struggling to see in the gloom and his gaze came to rest on a figure in white emerging from the shadows . A sense of panic set in, and his heart began to thud against the wall of his chest; his stomach churned in anticipation.
He shook his head in bewilderment at the strange and confusing occurences which had just taken place and thought about it again. In an instant, as if being struck by lighting the person-like shape had vanished.
He had no time to catch his breath before a sudden thunderous knocking at the front door set all his senses reeling. His heart missed several beats and he ran full tilt down the stairs to the hallway. Coming to an abrupt halt, he beheld the same figure briefly before it flittered away into the darkness, but not before he had the time to recognise the strange figure – it was her.
With his breathing now returrning to normal he leapt outdoors. With an irrepressible impulse fired by the unusual mystery which he had witnessed, he called out her name – it was in vain. The howling East wind, blowing at its full strength in the midst of the storm, almost had him off his feet and his voice was lost in the commotion. Rain pounded his eyes and brought him to his knees.
Now lost in his thoughts, he recalled events from his recent past which obsessed him and made him wish for that timeover once more; his wife, however, did not share his feelings. Earl found this odd, and despite the many attempts he made, she would never breathe a word about it. This refusal on her part aroused suspicious in him that she may have had something to do with their daughter’s death.
By the time he had regained his senses, the gale-force winds had broken and a thin tube of spinning air arrowed downwards towards the ground. Inexplicably, a sudden change of direction had the tornado charging towards him. He hardly had time to move an inch or even cry out in alarm before his feet left the ground. While his body was whirling in the air, the whispering of her voice gladdened his heart.
‘There’s nothing to be afraid of, Daddy,’ Carrie called soothingly.
‘Carrie, Carrie.......,’ he yelled as a response, but it wasn’t long before his voice faded away as he kept spinning relentlessly inside the tornado.
Now much later on, he landed on his feet and dusted himself down, looking not only astonished that he was still alive but also at what he was wearing and where he stood. This grassy ground full of daisies with scattered bushes, shrubs and trees in blossom whose boughs were gently singing in an evening summer breeze beyond some bird’s chirpings, held for him a strong sense of déjˆ vu.
‘This black and white t-shirt and this faded pair of jeans?’ he asked himself, pondering over the question.
He glanced around himself for a while before the light suddenly dawned. He was right back in the copse just before his house, where the disaster happened while he and his wife were playing hide and seek with Carrie, their little girl. The place was at the far end where the copse sloped firmly downwards to the sea, so he hurried there and reached his destination before long.
Looking down in abject terror, a growing chill of self-reproach came to him while before his very eyes, Carrie was struggling for her life against violent waves which threatened to take her last dying breath. Worst of all was when he saw his wife struggling against the relentless and turbulent sea in an effort to swim back to the shore. Speechless with rage, he sank down to his knees and slammed his fist on the grounds, weeping in anger.
In an instant a dazzling light rising from the sea disturbed him, drew his attention and he arose with an arm lifted before his face. Through his fingers, he made out Carrie’s ghostly shape going up and up to the sky, to heaven dissapearing little by little and once more her murmurings caught his ears: ‘Adieu. I love you, daddy’.
‘I love you so too, Carrie,’ he sobbed and when darkness gradually retuned as if the spell had broken, he found himself back at home, sitting in the living room.
In a state of shock from his wife’s inconceivable behaviour, the considerable distress of their little daughter made his anger boil up inside him. He struggled to control it and repress the incessant tremblings in his hands. Never in his wildest imagination had he expected such a barefaced lie although his wife’s silence about this dramatic event had hinted at it.
With Amy’s unexpected warning voice sounding in his ears, alerted by the thorough mess in the hallway, Earl’s fury was aroused. The small oak panelled table had fallen into ruin, clothing sweapt the floor clear of the debris from the storm, and shards of glass billowed before her in a cloud of dust. With a spring in her step, she entered the room, smiled and hurriedly threw her arms around his neck, her heart now at peace.
‘Bless you, you’re safe and sound,’ she burst out, kissing his cheek . ‘What the hell happened here?’ she asked him, her face etched with amazement.
No response came and at her complete surprise, he leapt to his feet brushing past her arms. Sitting still and dumbfounded, a frown creased on her forehead and as she met his cold stare an uneasy feeling crept through her body. The silence continued and Amy perceived from his manner of pacing up and down the floor that she had made a mistake of some kind. Far beyond her thought, it was not until he looked at her again that all became clearer.
At once fear clutched at her heart and sent her pulse racing. Horrible thoughts started to flash through her mind - her throat dried and she licked her lips nervously; she fought back the tears. The tension was at its height and his curt refusal to speak first raised the tempearture and made it unbearable to her. Stopping abruptly and teeming with rage, he focused his gaze on her and at the very moment her heart missed a beat. His lips parted, breaking the deadly silence.
‘How could you have let....?’ he asked her bitterly, unable to go further.
‘What are you talking about?’ she inquired in mock surprise before she continued: ‘And what is all the mess in the hallway about?’
‘You wouldn’t believe me if I told you about it. But I know what you did; the dreadful meaning of your silence,’ he said harshly, walking past her.
No longer able to stand his gaze, she took her eyes from him, summoned up her courage and took a deep breath.
‘What silence?’she said in a breathlessly. ‘I was in a state of shock after the accident. Nothing unusual after such a event, I struggle each day to live through it,’ she cried.
‘That’s the point; living through what you did or did not do,’ he yelled. ‘You didn’t lay down your life for hers,’ he told her cruelly.
‘What! I didn’t let her...and never would have!’ she shouted ‘I would have let her...,’ it was too painful for her to go further.
Flushed with anger, she leapt to her feet and walked around the table, keeping a safe distance from him.
‘I did all my best to save her, Earl,’ she said firmly. ‘When Carrie fell by accident and rolled down to the sea, I hurried to catch up with her but against the powerful flood tide...and that’s enough,’ she sobbed, tears welling up in her eyes.
‘How could such an outrageous idea have crossed your mind?’ she asked him shakily.
‘It stretches credulity to the limit but she reappeared and even talked to me. Carrie brought me back to that day and I saw you hardly trying to save her,’ he explained, his eyes glistening with tears with the intensity of the flashback.
‘What! You’re simply monstruous and completely out of your mind. I can’t believe your words for a second. All this is beyond me, I can’t bear it any longer,’ she snapped, struggling to hold back her tears and appalled by his macabre talk.
‘Me, monstruous? You disgust me; your own little daughter. You should be in her place,’ he snarled savagely before sweeping out of the room.
It was the last straw, she stood there in silence as if she couldn’t do otherwise, feeling a pang of conscience although she refused to admit it. Overcome with emotion, tears traced pathways down her cheek and dragging herself to the sofa she slumped down in it, burying her head into his hands.
Earl, meanwhile, was packing up upstairs and then went to the bathroom to gather some other things. Her barefaced lie had torn his heart out, his own wife to whom he gave unconditional love had betrayed him, had let their daughter die. He was on the brink of the abyss, he could no longer stand so much suffering and while he snatched his razor, suddenly gripped by a fit of rage, he struck his throat with it. Little by little, anger, pain freed him and he smiled. He felt good now, and he cherished this moment as ever because he knew that each second remaining was a closer step to Carrie until his eyes closed.
By this time, pouring out all her suffering, Amy tried in vain to fight back her sorrow which kept weighing heavily on her. Lifting her head, her heart gave a sudden leap and missed a beat as she saw Carrie just sitting at her side.
‘Carrie!’ she gasped in bewirldement.
‘Hello, mummy,’ she replied in a whipser.
‘Oh, my God,’ she gasped, before she contined: ‘Oh, sweetie. I’m terribly sorry for what happened but you know I did my best. You missed me so much and love you too so.’
Carrie just leered at her, and before long Amy was seized by a strange fit of coughing. Staring at her daughter, she started to sense the meaning of her look. Now her throat was constricted and she swallowed hard; breathing started to become difficult and her eyes became bloodshot. She stretched out a hand to Carrie, the other holding her throat. Amy looked in astonishment as her daughter began to float upwards to the figure of her father, smiling in wait for her. Her last vision was of the two of them laughing as the life ebbed away from her stricken form.
