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Akron’s Acrimonious Lives

Daniel Gallik

    Old man Miller was groaning in the basement. I could hear him from his two car garage. I wondered about him even though I was stealing some tools from his workbench. In drives his wife with a surprised look on her face. She’s gazing inside her garage and now is backing up and leaving. I hide. I decide I have time. I go into the house and slowly walk down the basement steps. The groaning is getting louder and closer. I turn a corner. The old man is sitting on his ass nude near his hot water heater. He’s masturbating. I get the hell out of there. I’m up the steps and out the door in milliseconds. Still, I have to see all the action. I want to see what is going to happen to this man. I hide at my house across the st.
    East Akron is an easy place to live. Hell, I don’t have to go to school. So, I don’t have to do any homework. I don’t have to answer to any of my mom’s incessant probes. My dad already left our home and our house. He lives near Wheeling, WVa, and my Mom says he drinks a lot at Hank’s Bar & Grill down there. Mom’s got a new boyfriend even though she’s still married. The teachers at our school, half of them don’t even have college degrees. Hell, it’s 1952 and no one gives a hoot about anything in America except having fun after the big war. Gas and milk is about the same price. Bread is eight cents a loaf, and less when it’s on sale.
    So, Akron’s finest pull up. Guns are pulled. They are hearing the same groans and follow those groans down the basement. Five minutes later the older codger is being hauled out of his own house. Nude. And kind of spent looking. Almost pure white. And his mouth looks dry. I see the cops pull a tarp out of the trunk of their cruiser. They drape it over the pervert in the back of their police car. And pull away.
    I go back to stealing stuff out of the Miller’s garage. Also, steal some laundry detergent out of their basement because my Mom is always worried about having enough of the stuff. I had spotted this ten lb. Sear’s container down there when I was seeing the old guy yank at himself.
    Mom Miller pulls up in her Studebaker and I rush upstairs to turn the basement light off. She walks in the back door and I hear her calling out loud, “Hey Hank, where fuck are you?” Of course, no one answers. Then, she begins her idea of a saga, “Hank, maybe you’re going #2 because you like it down there, but some kid was robbing this neighborhood of stuff we have stored in our garages. Anyway, when I pulled in from shopping at Lawson’s getting the cheapest milk and bread in this town, I saw him and pulled out. And went to Janey’s and called the Akron Police Dept. Aren’t you glad I’m smart enough to remember the number, PL8, 8889. Janey thinks I’m smart and should get my h.s. diploma, she remarked-- the sooner the better. Anyway, glad you’re retired and still love me cause then we can go back home and live a peaceful life in the green country outside Wheeling. And have fun watching the grass grow. I love you my good man. You really make me feel good with that long pecker of yours. You know, it kind of glistens at night when they turn the st. lights on. outside our second story bedroom window.” I was glad her hearing was bad. She didn’t even know I was giggling down the basement. Anyway, I took her bleach too, and slipped out the back door as she kept talking with her lover.

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