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Weathered
Operation: Hunger

Derek Devere

    The fresh grease on Chucky’s lips spread further from the edge of his mouth to his moustache and beard with each new bite into the Special Deluxe Operation: Hunger, the great new hamburger sandwich from the multi-million hamburger-selling fast food chain “Hamburger Attack.” Chucky’s best friend, Eddie, sat next to him in the passenger seat of Chucky’s three month old H2 Hummer. Eddie smoked a Marlboro while he eyed the voluptuous rush with which Chucky bit into the burger.
    Boyhood friends, teenage friends, college friends, and now mid-twenties Men About Town (Glendale), Chucky and Eddie struck an interesting visual contrast. Chucky was huge in girth, seemingly creating a larger waistline with each new passing week. His black beard helped create definition in his face and hide his enormous double chin as best he could. He breathed heavily and with nervous energy, even when, say, eating an Operation Hunger and starting his Hummer, as he did just then. In comparison, Eddie was tall, thin, clean shaven, and slow in his movements, consuming far less food than cigarettes.
    While Chucky drove them to Eddie’s parent’s house to pick up Eddie’s Best Buy uniform, the delights of the urban sights, sounds, and smells of Glendale whizzed by. The carnal, Christian aroma of Carl’s Jr. latest Hawaiian Jalapeno Cheeseburger swam through Chucky’s car window. He couldn’t help but notice that. Smoky burger smell beauty. But, he was full. He already ate an Operation Hunger. Still, that smell was undeniably near undeniable.
    “Wait, pull over there.” Eddie requested suddenly.
    “I thought you just got some.” Chucky said irritably as his eyes caught the ‘Turkish Tobacco’ sign in the strip mall. He slowed down and turned right into the strip mall parking lot. “And why the fuck you want Turkish cigarettes?”
    “Just the name, Chucky.” Eddie said as he opened the passenger door and hopped out.
    “Probably owned by a fucking Turk, too.”
    After getting his discounted 4 cartons of Marlboros (80 packs, with 20 cigarettes a pack, that’s 1,600 cigarettes total, which will last him 6 weeks), Eddie hopped back into Chucky’s Hummer. Continuing to drive up Brand Ave., they passed the “car lot district” of Glendale. One car lot after another – Toyota, Nissan, GM, Ford, Mercedes, BMW, and more – made its presence known.
    “Damn ... it’d be nice to get the new Mercedes 4X1128, with gold rims ...” Chucky said, ogling the car in the lot while bringing his H2 Hummer to a stop for a red light.
    Pulling up next to him was another H2 Hummer, with two African American young men blasting Tu-Pac from the car stereo. The music shot out into the open air, causing menacing vibrations in the surrounding vicinity of the H2. Chucky decided to compete by cranking up the volume for a NWA song on his stereo. Other drivers in cars close by were getting annoyed. When the light turned green, the African American gentlemen in the H2 slammed on the accelerator, shooting them across the intersection. Chucky didn’t compete this time, driving the speed limit of 35.
    “Fucking monkeys.” Chucky shot out. “They drive that thing as if it was a Masaratti. They could kill somebody.”
    “If they’re monkeys, what does that make you, a grizzly bear?” Eddie interjected with a small chuckle.
    They soon made it to Eddie’s parent’s place, where he left his Best Buy uniform two days before. Eddie’s mom was withdrawn from the boys, busy with laundry and listening to a local Armenian radio station. Eddie and Chucky hated their native tongue, so quickly left the house once Eddie got his Best Buy shirt and two Double X “SPASM” energy drinks. “SPASM” drinks packed a punch. They were Chucky and Eddie’s favorites. Recently, the company that produced the high voltage cans was under attack from health organizations.
    There were allegations of people suffering from heart attacks after drinking a “SPASM,” with one story of a man who actually died from a heart attack. Because of the high profile embarrassments, sales for “SPASM” drinks took a nosedive, and quickly thereafter stocks plummeted for the company. With everyone aware of the health risks, only people like Chucky and Eddie bought the drink (and made sure their parents stored some at their homes, too). Basically, the buyer was anyone who didn’t care. There was also an excitement for Chucky and Eddie. Maybe they’d see the other guy get a heart attack.
    Chucky and Eddie still had two hours before their shift at Best Buy so they decided to go to the mall. After finishing their SPASMs in the H2, they were pumped and ready. It was Mall Time. The Holy Shrine of modern consumer society was exactly that to Chucky and Eddie. It was their subliminal place of worship. The Path of Awe. Being full of energy drink super junk made them feel a little cocky, too. Perhaps they’d come across some chicks.
    Before entering the grand main entrance to the mall, Eddie finished his 12th cigarette of the day. A pack and eight cigarettes left. He was usually at number 12 an hour later, but oh well. Earlier he was stressed he might’ve lost his Best Buy uniform, but fortunately, he didn’t. The latest Justin Timberlake hit was blaring through the mall, especially at the entrance.
    “I want to be your boy ... can I be your boy ... I want to be your boy-toy ... can I be your boy-toy ...”
    “What a fag.” Chucky stated as they walked past the Swatch store.
    “Just the way you like ‘em.” Eddie said with a smile. “He wants to be your boy-toy.”
    “Dumb-ass. Look at that watch.”
    “It’s alright.”
    “Better than the one you got. Hold on a sec.”
    Chucky proceeded to walk in front of Eddie and towards the jelly-bean store “Glendale Jelly.” His eyes were locked on one particular jelly-bean, the neon blue Bluey Bean. That was his favorite. Chucky soon came back outside with a two-pound bag of Bluey Beans, munching as he walked with Eddie further into the mall.
    “Only two pounds today?” Eddie asked with hesitation. “You on a diet?”
    Chucky laughed. They continued to stroll through the mall, now with Hannah Montana blasting in the air.
    “Just another day ... just another day ... of hey, hey, hey, fun today, fun today ...”
    Chucky was downing Bluey Beans and Eddie was wishing he could smoke as they passed store after store with utterly convincing boredom and blah. But this was a boredom and blah which they loved. Their mental and physical attention was fixed on whatever store they passed, whereupon they’d make some insightful remark on each one.
    “Rocket Rackets,” a store devoted completely to tennis rackets and tennis balls. “Sexy Shoes,” a shoe store for women only. “Snow Drift,” an ice cream store. “Wookie Cookies,” a cookie store noted for its specialty Star Wars Wookie Cookie. “Fudge, Fudge, Fudge,” a store devoted only to chocolate fudge. “Sticky Stickers,” a store that sold only stickers. “Hot Skates,” a skater and roller-blader store. “Top of the Key,” a store devoted only to basketball apparel. “Candy Sweets,” a big candy store devoted to sweet candies only. “Far Away Adventures,” a dudgeons and dragons, role-playing store. “Silly Willy’s,” a toy store. “Beats,” a music store. “DVD Deluxe,” a movie store of DVDs. At “Energy Blast!,” a small store devoted to selling energy drinks only, there was a line. Chucky and Eddie went to the end to wait.
    “What kind you want? Another Double X SPASM?” Chucky asked Eddie with heavy breaths. There seemed to be some excitement in his voice, or possibly it was just the fact he’d been walking. The big man was sweating quite a bit.
    “Yeah, get me one of those. I’m gonna take a piss.” Eddie responded as he walked away.
    In front of Chucky were two scantily clad, attractive, young Armenian girls. Their skirts were high, revealing beautiful, long, tan legs. Chucky couldn’t keep his eyes off the girls as he waited. Soon, the girls made it to the cash register to order. Once there, the black cashier began flirting with them. They giggled at his flirtations good-naturedly. He was handsome, quick-witted, and educated. He didn’t think highly of his job but was doing it to pay bills, as he let out during the chit-chat. The flirtations lasted a couple minutes, which irritated the hell out of Chucky. The fact that two sexy young Armenian girls were flirting with a black cashier also bothered him. By the time he got to the register, Chucky was an agitated, sweaty man.
    “Gimme two Double X SPASMs.” He spat out quickly amongst his breathing.
    “I don’t think we carry that anymore.” The black cashier replied simply, but did notice Chucky’s irritation while waiting in line.
    “It’s up there on your board.”
    “Really? You’d be the first customer I sold it to.”
    “There’s a first time for everything.”
    “We should take it down. People been killed with those things.”
    “Well, it’s not up to you, is it? All you do is sell the shit.”
    “Already one dude in the Midwest died from a heart attack after drinking one of those things.”
    “If I wanna drink the fucking drink, lemme fucking die. It’s my right.”
    “Your right to die?” The cashier chuckled.
    “Look, man, is your manager here? I don’t need to take your shit.”
    “No, he’s not, but don’t worry. You want it, you can have it. I just hope you didn’t already have one today.”
    “I did and I’m planning on having two more later.”
    “Two more? You out of your mind? Four of those things in one day?”
    “No, I’m not out of my mind. I’m a paying customer, so shut the fuck up and give me my drinks. One for me and one for my friend.” Chucky said with checked anger as he slapped cash down on the counter.
    “And here’s to your right to die.” The cashier responded after getting the drinks, taking Chucky’s cash, and handing the SPASM cans to his paying customer.
    Chucky shot him an angry look, then turned and walked away with the cans. Soon, Eddie came back to Chucky, smelling horribly like cigarettes. A person could almost see the smoke coming from Eddie’s clothes.
    “You didn’t smoke in the bathroom, did you?” Chucky asked with a disgusted look.
    “What’s it to you?”
    “You coulda gone outside. It’s just as far a walk.”
    “Yeah but I had to piss and I was dying for a smoke. Might as well kill two birds with one stone.” Eddie said as he opened his Double X SPASM and took a sip, with Chucky following the same motion.
    Chucky’s cell phone began sounding off it’s ringtone – “Suck it, Bitch” by Killah Killah. He grabbed the phone and answered with his usual “whassup.” It was his mom. She was in tears. It was apparent she’d been crying for a while before calling. She wanted him to join her that night for the annual ceremonial vigil in remembrance of the Armenian Genocide. But she already knew the answer. She knew he would give her some excuse. He wouldn’t go, like all the years before. In fact, the last time he went he was 12 years old. This time around, he was giving her the usual excuses about having to work and how much Best Buy needed him. He told her he was working until 11:00 pm, the vigil was at 8:00. He was actually working until 7:00. She hung up without saying goodbye.
    Chucky and Eddie went back to their stroll through the mall, going from store to store, sometimes buying something, sometimes not. Eddie bought a new Blackberry. He was tired of the two he already had, so he got a new one. Chucky bought a new pair of shoes, the new Kobe Bryant’s. Along the way, they ran into the same sexy young Armenian girls from before. The guys tried flirting with them but after Chucky and Eddie asked if they had boyfriends, the girls walked away. Well, at least there was the new blackberry and the new pair of shoes.
    It was time to go to work. On the way, Chucky drove his H2 Hummer to McDonald’s to get lunch. Eddie had a Fish Fillet combo, which he didn’t finish, and Chucky had two large Big Angus Beef hamburgers with mushrooms combos. Two burgers, two large orders of French fries, and two large cups of Mr. Pibb. While finishing the McKieDee food, they made it to Best Buy.
    Soon, their six hour shift was over. Neither Chucky nor Eddie helped many customers, and actually went out of their way not to help people. They made themselves look busy by pretending to stock items, going back and forth from the stock room and the store floor. They could get away with this kind of behavior because no one else knew more about video games than them. If the manager or any other staff couldn’t answer a question from a customer, Chucky and Eddie were there to save the day. And now that their shift was over, the two video game aficionados went to work on research.
    Chucky and Eddie knew pretty much everything there was to know about most games. There was some kid in Iowa who they met on a video game blog who seemed to know more. But this kid didn’t have to work nor even go to school (he was a home-schooler). Chucky and Eddie, on the other hand, were hard workers and lived busy lives. Their knowledge of video games was somehow more impressive because of this. They could tell you, for example, that the best games for the new PS3 were “Resistance: Fall of Man,” and “Metal Gear Solid 4.” For the Wii, “The Legend of Zelda: Twilight of the Princess,” and “Metroid 3: Corruption.” For the X-Box 360, “Gears of War,” and “Halo 3.”
    When Chucky went home, he was pooped from all the day’s activities. He checked his answering machine while sitting down. His mother left a message, half in English, half in Armenian, but throughout her voice struggled over anguished tears. It continued to pain her intensely that Chucky didn’t care about the Armenian Genocide. The world didn’t care about the Genocide when it happened. And now, she said, almost a hundred years later, the United States - the country which had the second largest Armenian population in the world - still hadn’t officially acknowledged the systematic massacre. Chucky mentally shrugged his shoulders as he turned on his big widescreen TV. She must still love him, otherwise his parents wouldn’t continue supporting him financially the way they did. They were great parents, mom and pop, Chucky thought as he watched the first season DVD of “Lost” while eating leftover pizza from Domino’s.
    The next morning, Chucky woke up with a horrible stomach hangover. It was bad. His stomach was churning. He was sweating and breathing heavily, and his heart was beating fast. He almost couldn’t take it. It was worse than usual. He rushed to the bathroom and took one of the worst, most painful, longest (protractedly so) dumps in recent memory.
    He had to work at Best Buy earlier than usual, at 11:00 am. Maybe he should call in sick. No, he was a hard worker and they needed him. Besides, “Thunder Ax 4: The Exodus” for the PS3 was coming out today. Oh, that’s right, Chucky thought to himself as he wiped his ass, that’s why he wanted to work early today. Get the game before it sold out.
    As he drove his H2 Hummer, he felt like shit. He really never felt this bad. At one point he almost pulled the military vehicle to the side to stop and rest. As bad as he felt, he had to get to work. There was no way he wasn’t getting “Thunder Ax 4” today. Maybe a couple Whoppers and fries at Burger King would help. He went to the Burger King drive-thru and got his desired two Whopper combos. He scarfed the burgers and fries down as he continued driving the H2 Hummer to work. He still felt like crap and decided a Double X SPASM might help pick him up.
    Chucky went to the mall, and struggled to get to the “Energy Blast!” store. There standing behind the cash register was the same black cashier from the day before, smiling. It was a ridiculing smile in a way, once he saw Chucky coming towards him, but it wasn’t a hostile smile. It was just that Chucky was sweating and breathing heavily, still so god damn enormous a creature, and he looked like crap.
    “What’re you ... what’re you smiling about?” Chucky asked through heavy breaths, sweat dripping off his face and onto the floor.
    “Man, you don’t look good.” The cashier replied with a chuckle.
    “You making fun of me?” Chucky shot back.
    “No, no, don’t worry. What can I get you?”
    “Gimme a Double X SPASM.”
    “You sure?”
    “Yeah, give it to me.”
    “Ok. Your life.”
    “That’s fuckin’ right. No, you know what? Gimme two Double X SPASMs. Both for me, and I’m gonna have another two after work.” Chucky snapped aggressively.
    “Look ...” the cashier said seriously, taking a pause and looking Chucky straight in the eyes. “I’m not trying to mess with you. I actually am concerned you might hurt yourself.”
    “And I’m not trying to mess with you by coming here! Your store’s the only god damn place that sells the shit!”
    “Don’t you think there’s a reason for that? The owner of this place is a money-grubbing prick. If he wasn’t, we wouldn’t be selling it, either. The SPASM company practically gives it to him for free.”
    “What’s your name?”
    “What?”
    “What’s your name? I don’t wanna call you something else when I tell the owner what you think of him.”
    “Man, what’s your problem?”
    “Ok, don’t tell me your name. I can describe you to him. Just sell me the two Double X SPASMs.”
    “No.”
    “Whatta you mean ‘no’? Sell me the fucking drinks!’
    “There’s no way I’m selling you those drinks. One, they’ll kill you. And two, you pissed me off.” The cashier said as he began putting some things away, then started for the back room. “I’m getting somebody else to help you.”
    “Don’t you fucking walk away from me!” Chucky said in fury as he went to where there was a latch-door on the counter, and quickly raised it up.
    Chucky then rampaged like an elephant towards the cashier. Once Chucky rushed him, the cashier tried to fight him off with punches and kicks, but to little effect. Chucky was too much, too much a mammoth of a man, too much a beast ... Chucky punched the cashier squarely in the face, making the poor customer service representative stagger helplessly. With that opening, Chucky grabbed the black cashier and began to beat him relentlessly in the face. He then took the cashier’s bloody head and started pounding it against the counter ... a shocked crowd had gathered around the fight ... In minutes, the black cashier was dead as his body slumped to the floor.
    Justin Timberlake’s song, “I Want to be Your Boy-Toy,” was heard playing loudly throughout the mall.



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