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War Pigs
Tom Ball
Around the year 1400 AD there lived in Europe a certain eccentric blacksmith who was known for his weird creations.
Once he invented battle harness for what he called “war pigs”. These were specially trained pigs, which had iron fangs, sharp iron horns, sharp five-sided knives on their feet, and light armor on their backs.
The idea was to harness a wide line of the pigs and whip them forward as a kind of vanguard for the host behind them. The pigs were taught that they must only run forward, not back. In any case the harnesses would break as pigs were killed freeing the remainder to continue forward.
The first time they were tested in battle they did great damage to the enemy, killing some and causing many of the opposing soldiers to run away. Of course it was hard to live down running from pigs, and so many of the defeated soldiers were eager for revenge.
So one day a few months after the war pigs’ great victory, a group of the defeated soldiers snuck into the barn where the pigs were kept and set it on fire resulting in the death of all the pigs. Furthermore they captured the blacksmith X and brought him to their castle where he was eaten alive by pigs.
People, upon hearing the news, said that it was wrong to kill men with such a lowly animal as a pig. The blacksmith, they said, had gotten his just deserts.
