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Down in the Dirt magazine (v079)
(the February 2010 Issue)




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Ice Pick in My Skull

Randy Boone

As soon as I dumped my last girlfriend,
she rammed a big metal ice pick
right into the front of my skull.
It was really pretty intense,
and I believe that she did it on purpose
mostly just to hurt me on the inside,
because I tend to be very sensitive
when it comes to such matters
of the heart.
I really should have seen it coming,
because as soon as I had dumped her,
she yelled very angrily,
“I’m going to find an ice pick
and ram it right into your skull,”
and then she promptly found an ice pick,
which I didn’t even know we owned,
and she rammed it right into my head.
Now that I stop and think about it,
I believe she picked up that ice pick
last summer at a yard sale in New Jersey
along with some old stainless steel tableware
(which, incidentally, she did not ram into my skull),
but where she got the ice pick
is really neither here nor there
in relation to where it ended up,
which happened to be lodged in the front of my skull.
Our fight didn’t last long after that
because I slumped to the floor in a heap,
but while I was going in and out of consciousness
with my girlfriend shouting and cursing above me,
I tried to be all cool
and make like it really didn’t hurt me,
but I think my girlfriend knew it did
based on all of the blood
and the involuntary seizures and spasms
and the fact that I have always been
incredibly sensitive on the inside
when it comes to such matters
of the heart.


[Originally published in Spout #31, 2007.]



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