Ordering with this link is for items being mailed in the USA.
If you are ordering issues to be mailed to the U.K., go to the Down in the Dirt main page for U.K. shipping.
get this writing in the collection book echo Download (color eBook): $4.95 paperback (5.5" x 8.5") w/ b&w interior pages: $18.95
That’s where you’re wrong
Adam Graupe
There was April, a woman I dated in the mid 90s
We had a nice yin-yang thing going:
She was older and voluble
While I was young and chose my words carefully
She loved to tell me how I was wrong about this or that
She often said, “If I were you I would have done this instead.”
After two weeks, I couldn’t stand her anymore
We were on a walk and she said “if I were you I would have—”
I stopped her and said, “if you were me you would have done what
I had done because you would have been me. Do you get that? If you
were me you wouldn’t have done anything you would have done.”
April’s face contorted
The left side of her eyeglass frame twisted upward
Her face turned scarlet
She breathed in gasps
Suddenly her face turned returned to its normal state:
A placid all-knowing look
And she said, “you’re wrong. If I were you I wouldn’t have been me but
I would have been you and I would have done this instead”
Some people are always right
But they are a pain in the ass to live with
