---

 

This writing was accepted for publication in the 84 page perfect-bound issue... cc&d magazine (v206) (the March 2010 Issue) This is also available from our printer as a a $7.47 paperback book (5.5" x 8.5") perfect-bound w/ b&w pages

Order this writing in the book (bound) cc&d poetry edition		order the 5.5" x 8.5" ISSN# book order the 8.5" x 11" ISBN# book

Pen To Paper

Amber Rothrock

That‣s how I deal with this shit.
I don‣t talk to someone,
I commune with words.
Fuck the therapists.
How can they help me?
They don‣t know anything about me
except what I tell them
and that‣s not a whole hell of a lot.
They make a diagnosis
based on assumptions and statistics,
shove meds down my throat
and send me back into the world;
the same frigid heartless abyss
I was trying to escape from in the first place.
So I put the pen to paper,
let the ink run,
pretend it‣s my blood.
This is my tortured heart screaming off the page.
This is my demented mind laughing at my own misfortunes.
Hope seems hopeless.
My worth is worthless.
This is the part where a friend would come in handy
but I say fuck them too.
A friend is only a friend
when it‣s in the friend‣s best interest.
When my demons were staring me in the face
not a soul could be found.
Cowardly pricks, the lot of them.
So I shut up and shut down and shut everyone out.
Put the pen to paper and let the rage write itself out
until I‣m writing in tongues and even the words themselves
don‣t understand what I want them to do.
Until trust melts away and respect turns to bitterness
and all the misdirected emotions cover the page like a bloodstain.

Copyright of written pieces remain with the author, who has allowed it to be shown through Scars Publications and Design.Web site © Scars Publications and Design. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted without express permission from the author.

Problems with this page? Then deal with it...