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Thomas Jefferson

Michael Ceraolo

There is no one in historical memory
with a greater chasm between word and action,
between the idea of him and the actuality:

the profile in politcal courage
who fled with his tail between his legs
when the war got too close for comfort;

the slaveholder most famous for
his sloganeering for freedom for all,
even as he had children who were
born slaves
(their mother Sally Hemings,
was the unacknowledged half-sister
of Jefferson’s late wife,
their relationship having started
when Sally was fifteen,
the coverup starting simultaneously,
with that year, 1788, being the only year
in a forty-three year period
for which there is no correspondence extant,
the plentiful circumstantial evidence
always ignored by the hagiographers:
that Sally never had a child
except when Jefferson had been in her presence
nine months beforehand;
that Sally came home from France,
pregnant,
even though she would have been free
had she remained in France;
that several of their children were ‘allowed’
to run away from Monticello with impunity,
and two others were formally freed in Jefferson’s will;
until
the day came that DNA proved the truth);


the proponent of limited government
who vastly exceeded his powers
when he doubled the size of the country
by receiving stolen property;

the man who used the partisan press
to slander his political enemies
yet imprisoned those who so attacked him;

the man of goodwill
who would go so far to destroy a political enemy
as to actually try the man for treason;

the man entrusted with enforcing the law
who defied that law when it ordered him
to appear at the aforementioned trial;

the democrat who arranged his succession
as though he were a king;

and
the proponent of fiscal responsibility
who live his post-public years
as a debtor
with no intention of re-payment
On First Looking into
Chapman’s Appleseed

Two hundred children’s books can’t be wrong,
can they?
Well . . .

He was born,
in the old-fashioned manner,
near the cold coast of the Atlantic Ocean
in the year befoe the Revolution;
that much is certain
(his birth certificate is duly recorded)
And
he next turns up at age eighteen,
wandering in a snow-covered wilderness
(probably going both ways uphill),
until he,
MacGyver-like,
makes snowshoes out of a tree not normally used for such
And
then he turns up all over the country
(even in places he never visited),
until
he dies sometime in March 1845 in Indiana,
though
he is reported to have things after his death as well

With most facts up for grabs,
let’s rescue him from Disneyfication
with the Top Ten Reasons toplace him at the adult table:


10.
he was of his time,
as all are of their time
(until time travel can be conclusively proved)

9.
he practiced what he preached
(the threat of a good example
is rare in any era)

8. he lived a life of non-violence,
turning
the other cheek at a time
when that sentiment was even less practiced

7. he delighted in projecting
an image
of loafing and laziness at a time
when those were considered to be sins

6. he traveled extensively,
but
never established a permanent place,
where his countrymen also traveled extensively
but only in search of their niches

5. he disdained the straining for wealth
where his countrymen believed in the gospel of money
even during Great Awakenings


4. he lived simply and without seeking approval
where his countrymen craved the countenance of their fellow citizens

3. he preached the gospel of green
(imagine the faith involved in planting a tree,
especially near the end of one’s life)

2. he never married,
when that was even more the norm,
planting his seed in the ground
instead of in a woman

And
the Number One Reason to sit him at the adult table:

1.
The trees he planted were by seed,
not by grafting,
and
apples grown from seed weren’t considered especially edible,
they were used for making hard cider
He was an apostle of alcohol,
a nineteenth century Timothy Leary

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