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in the Charlie Newman
May 2010 cc&d
poetry collection book

“Deckard Kinder/
Charlie Newman”

Deckard Kinder/Charlie Newman
I’m running out

Charlie Newman

I’m running out of space and it’s so bad I find myself face-to-face with myself more often than not these days and I don’t necessarily like what I’m seeing and I’ve had it up to here (holding my hand just under my nose parallel to the floor) and I’m maybe an eyelash from going postal and, trust me, you don’t want to hang around for that so I’ll see if I can make this quick:
I’m running out of space and
I’m running out of time and the damn ticking inside my head inside my head inside inside inside my head the damn ticking inside my head is deafening and I can’t get anywhere because there’s no “where’ to go and no “when” to leave and no one told me that I had to check in or clock out and I can’t look back because time’s a-wastin’ time’s a-wastin’ time time time’s a-wastin and the time to look back is past and I’m not at all sure the safety is engaged because
I’m running out of space and
I’m running out of time and
I’m running out of chances and I think I need a good kick in the ass to get me to ditch the insanity and get down to earning the big bucks the big bliss the big bonanza that’s waitin’ for me somewhere over the rainbow and, man, I think I got my message from the real Yahweh the one Yahweh the only Yahweh so long ago it’s dyin’ of old age Alzheimer’s as the lights go out and the brain drains and here I sit and there you are and when will I see it clean and clear from far and near for all to hear and all to know and the thing that really bugs me in all this is the simple fact that
I’m running out of space and
I’m running out of time and
I’m running out of chances and
I’m running out of excuses and what’ll I do without them without excuses without regrets without apologies because without excuses without regrets without apologies there’s no pardon there’s no absolution there’s no forgiveness there’s no amnesty there’s no quiet way home and life on the road is no life at all it’s travel it’s all hotel no-tell motel rooms with pictures screwed to walls and phone cords and shower curtains that are just too short to reach and last night’s mayhem hidden in the mattress and I want to go home no matter who says I can’t and
I’m running out of space and
I’m running out of time and
I’m running out of chances and
I’m running out of excuses and
I’m running out of patience — wanna make something of it or would you rather just let me get on with this little piece of work and lean your gossip lips up to the closest eager ear and say “the thing is this” and “the thing is that” and “the thing is the other” and “the thing is the thing” and “the thing is not the thing” and the thing is all things” and “the thing is no thing” and the play’s the thing and the every thing is beautiful in the eye of the beholder and
I’m running out of space and
I’m running out of time and
I’m running out of chances and
I’m running out of excuses and
I’m running out of patience and
I’m running out of energy
I’m running
I’m running out
I’m running outof energy
I’m running outof energy and I’m running out of reasons to go on
I’m running outof energy and I’m running out of reasons
I’m running outof energy and I’m running out of reasons to
I’m running outof energy and I’m running out of reasons togo on
I’m running outof energy and I’m running out of reasons togo on and when there’s no reason to go on there’s no going on and when there’s no going on there’s going off and so I’m going off I’m going off drugs and I’m going off booze and I’m going off the air and I’m going off the deep end and I’m going...
air and I’m going off the deep end and I’m going...
air and I’m going off the deep end and I’m gone and
But I’m not gonna run out of space and
I’m not gonna run out of time and
I’m not gonna run out of chances and
I’m not gonna run of excuses and
I’m not gonna run of patience and
I’m not gonna run of energy ‘cause, Baby
you can’t run out of what you’ve never had and
you can’t run out of where you’ve never been and
you can’t run out of nothin



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