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The stockings were hung with care.

Matthew Glasgow

    It didn’t matter that it was August; it was Christmas at Dan’s place. He wanted to celebrate before he turned himself in. Warrants here and there; I can’t even remember every charge he had against him. Stupid shit I’m sure. Either way, he was going away for a long time, and he was going to miss Christmas this December.
    Dan’s place was always a dump, but tonight it sure was merry. His sister brought over her old plastic tree, some red and green and blue and yellow and orange lights, and a few ornaments. One even said “Baby’s First Christmas”, probably Dan’s. Jeez, I wonder what that kid was like growing up, ‘cuz ever since I’ve known him, he’s been crazy as hell. Them first few months, before he could talk, his mother musta loved him. Knowing him, his first word was probably “fuck”. It had to be all downhill from there. I can just see it, Dan crawling around, opening his infantile lips and squeaking out “fuck”. His mother thinking, “Damn, at least I have a few years before he’s up and running, and strong enough to escape my grasp. But ‘til then, I’ll keep him within reach”.
    The whole crew was there: Rob, Tom, Scanlon, Richie, etc. I was the last person there, had to finish my goddamn shift at that taco joint. I told the boss I needed off, he said fuck you. Typical. Dan was wearing this gigantic Santa hat, going around kissing Kim and Casey and anyone else while holding up some mistletoe.
    “OOOOXXXXXX... Look who fuckin’ decides to show up! Howya been ya bastard!” Dan screamed from across the room with a huge grin. I didn’t even have to guess that he was smashed already.
    “Ahh Danny, same shit different day. Place looks great. Feel like I’m at the North Pole or some shit.”
    “Ha ha ‘tis the season my man! Aww, is this for me? Thanks bud, you can just stick that under the tree. Hey that rhymes! Whaddaya know! Woo, I’m feelin’ good. Whaddaya drinkin’?” Dan spewed out in a wonderful drunken ramble.
    “I’ll just have a High Life if you got one.”
    “‘Course I do. Special occasion man. Only the best ha ha! I’ll be right back.”
    Dan really did seem happy. I guess when you’re facing months of misery, you don’t have many options. Gotta live it up while you still got your freedom.
    I put my gift under the tree, it was a steel flask. Figured he could use it. Shoved a pack of Pall Malls in his stocking too. Dan actually asked us to bring him presents, pretty strange for Dan. He was a guy who had to do things his way; didn’t want shit from no one. I remember trying to buy him a beer at a bar one time, and man, he let me have it. Went on some speech about independence, and how he hated owing people. I was too drunk to pay too much attention, but I got the gist. Probably why he resorted to robbery, wanted to keep the landlords and creditors even. Nothing they could hold over his head, you know. I’m sure in time; he would have even repaid the people he stole from.
    “Here’s your beer. I got some liquor too. John’s been bartending over at Whistler’s lately. Made me something called a Red Death...You gotta try one.”
    “Okay, I will. Let me just down a few of these first.”
    I made my way through the party, mingling here and there. Really just killing time until I, myself, felt good. Tom told me about his new job over by the old Pennsauken market. Rob let me know every movie and TV show he’d seen lately. I just chugged as fast as I could, saying “yep” and “uh huh” between gulps. Dan’s sister was a real buzzkill. Going on about how sad it was that Dan was going to prison, and how sure she was that he could put his life back together. I showed my respects by letting my beer hang by my hip, tilting my head sympathetically while she blathered on. I even threw in a few breathe heavy from nostrils + close eyes + shake head from side to side in disgust/pity moves from time to time. It really didn’t matter. Danny was a grown boy. He fucked up, now he has to go to jail. Happens.
    Once I got myself out of that conversation I went to the ice cooler for a few more High Lifes. I was on a good pace, about six deep, but I still wasn’t where I wanted to be.
    “You ready for a Red Death?” Dan asked while sneaking up behind me.
    “Yeah, sure. I think it’s about time.”
    Dan guided me over to his makeshift bar. It was really nothing more than a few pieces of plywood, but somehow it stayed together. John was behind the bar, his arms spread wide apart as if saying, “What’ll you have”. Asshole musta thought he was still over at Whistler’s.
    Dan motioned for two more, and John began bumbling with the glasses and bottles of liquor. He tried to act like a pro, raising each bottle high in the air like he was the main attraction on the Vegas Strip. Probably even expected a tip as he slid the drink my way. Fat chance.
    Dan raised his glass for a toast.
    “Here’s to this night never ending...‘Cuz God knows it don’t get much better after this.”
    “Here, here.”
    
    “Damn, that’s good shit...I’m gonna go see what Chris is up to” Dan said while slapping my back.
    “Okay”
    “Don’t go too far...We’re opening the presents in a little bit.”
    I stayed by the bar and asked John to make me another Red Death.
    “That hits the spot,” I gasped.
    “Yeah, I learned that one a few months ago.”
    “No kiddin’ Cocktail!”
    “Ahh stop breakin’ my balls Ox,” John whimpered, “But you know they call it a Red Death for a reason.”
    “That’s what I figured...How ‘bout another.”
    This one burned something fierce, so I put it out with a swig of beer.
    “You make me one more of those and I might finally catch up with all these drunk bastards.”
    “Ha ha, you got it Ox.”
    By the time I swallowed my third, everyone was walking over to the tree.
    “I just want to thank all of you guys for coming out tonight, and also for all the gifts you got me!” Dan announced while pushing the white cotton ball away from his face. “But seriously, I’m gonna miss all of you...Be happy, hold on to what you have, and try not to think of me too much while I’m gone.”
    I squeezed my way to the front of the crowd, right between Sally and a fluorescent Frosty the Snowman.
    “Well go ahead, open ‘em”
    Dan burrowed through the wrapping paper like he was a little kid. Scraps of Eight Reindeer and a laughing fat guy with a white beard fell carelessly to the ground, and Danny stood there with a bottle of wine.
    “Thanks John, great gift”
    “No problem, that’s some good stuff. It gets better with age too. So I figured when, you know...”
    “Yep. Gotcha.”
    I lost focus on some of the other gifts Danny got. I knew he couldn’t take those things where he was going anyway. Guess he would still have them when he came back though.
    Most people left after Danny was done opening his gifts. Cocktail made me another Red Death. He was starting to give me a little attitude, so I figured I’d just leave him alone. Just finish the night on High Lifes. Any other time I’d have a few words with him, maybe even beat his ass. But it was a special occasion.
    I talked to Sally for a little bit, but either I wasn’t drunk enough or she wasn’t drunk enough, so I just kept things basic. Job, family, the news, and shit like that. She sure was looking good though.
    After running out of things to say, I plopped myself on the couch. It’s really a shame how much of a pussy I’ve become. Instead of entertaining myself with a brawl or a broad, I just sat there listening to shitty Christmas music coming from an old record player. At least Jimmy was getting some from Casey. Good for him, needs it more than me anyway.
    As the party dwindled down to only a handful, mostly friends of friends that I didn’t know well enough, I somehow got stuck with the role of DJ. Flipping the records to side B every 15-20 minutes was a pain, not to mention having to choose from A Perry Como Christmas, The Christmas Song-Nat King Cole and Santa Claus is Coming to Town. He even had Merry Christmas from Sesame Street and John Denver & The Muppets- A Christmas Together. So many options. I never knew why Dan didn’t just spring for a CD player. Something nice, like a five disc-changer. Maybe even some new system that I didn’t even know about. Guess he liked the nostalgia. The obsolete.
    John left with Rob and some guy he knew from work. A few more left shortly after that. Pretty strange, people leaving a party before they got kicked out. Maybe they just couldn’t handle their booze. All I know is that there was still a half cooler full of High Lifes in the kitchen, and as long as I could see straight, I was staying.
    I sat alone in Dan’s place for nearly an hour, trying to fight off the heavy eyes that come with boredom and High Life. It was about 3:30 am when Casey crept through the living room.
    “Leavin’ so soon darling?”
    “Oh hey Ox, I didn’t know you were still here?”
    “Yep, still hangin’ strong”
    “Wow, looks like you put some away. That your little pile?”
    “Sure is. Every golden can.”
    “Well you always could put them away...Listen, it was good seeing you tonight, I gotta get home though. Early shift at Hank’s tomorrow morning”
    “I know how that goes, I- ”
    “See you soon”
    Damn. Cut me off mid sentence. Musta really been in a hurry.
    Dan came down shortly after, grabbed a beer, and joined me on the couch.
    “There you are. Didn’t pull an all-nighter this time?”
    “Nope”
    “Ha ha. Look at you with that big red hat. I should call you Kris Kringle!”
    “Ahh you like it? Kept it on the whole time.”
    “That’s great. You’ve been after Casey for a while. I’m glad you finally got her.”
    “It was just a pity fuck. Gone now.”
    “Don’t say that.”
    “It was. I’m gonna be going away for a while. She felt bad. Didn’t even stay.”
    I tried to think of something comforting to say, I couldn’t. Made a soft grunt instead.
    “How bout a smoke out on the porch? I need some fresh air.”
    “Sure Danny”
    The screen screeched as Dan slowly pulled it free. We stepped on the wooden planks with the sun starting to show its face in the distance. I inhaled.
    “Did your sister leave?”
    “Na, she passed out early. She’s such a lightweight.”
    “Few can hang with us though.”
    “That’s so true man...Gonna miss your crazy ass”
    “Crazy, no you’re the crazy one. I’m just along for the ride.”
    “You kiddin’ me? Remember that time at your old apartment on Burlington Pike?”
    “Which time?”
    “When you and Braz almost went at it.”
    “Oh yeah”
    “You kept tellin’ him to hit you. He wouldn’t, so you grabbed a steak knife and sliced your forehead wide open.”
    “Man, I think I had a whole bottle of <>IEvan to myself...Woke up with my face covered in dry blood and whiskey.”
    “And you call me crazy!”
    “Well, maybe we’re both a little crazy.”
    “I agree,” Dan said while flicking the butt off the deck, “One more?”
    “Sure”
    Danny pulled a fresh cigarette out and took a hard drag after lighting it.
    “I guess these are gonna be my new currency.”
    “Guess so.”
    We both had nothing to say for a moment. At least silence can be filled with smoke sometimes.
    “Goddamnit I don’t wanna go to jail!”
    “I know man, I know”
    Danny starred at his cigarette as it burned to the filter.
    “You know, when I was a kid, I used to love Christmas. Not even the day so much, just looking forward to the day. Right after Thanksgiving, I’d already be wishing it was Christmas, you know?” Danny said while flicking the butt away, and watched it plummet to the ground.
    “Yeah, still my favorite holiday”
    “I remember I used to have one of those Advent calendars, where you would open a tiny door each day for the 25 days before Christmas, and inside the door would be a tiny chocolate.”
    “Oh, yeah, I know what you’re talking about.”
    “Christmas day had the biggest piece of Chocolate. But once it came, it was over. A whole year till I could eat that big piece of Chocolate again.”
    “You didn’t have a good time tonight?”
    “No, I did. But now I have nothing left. No presents waiting for me. No days off school. No more egg nog. Carols. Fa la las. And no Chocolate. Just jail...I want to hold on to it forever, but I can’t.”
    “Hey, you can still look forward to getting out. You won’t be there your whole life or anything.” That was really the most solace I could give to Dan, but it probably did little good.
    “Thanks man. I’m going to miss hangin’ with you. Always been a good friend.”
    “You too...Its getting kinda late, and these High Lifes and Red Deaths are starting to kick in.”
    “Go ahead man, you can sleep on the spare bed in my room. I’m just gonna stay out here a little while more.”
    I passed out almost instantly on Dan’s spare bed, which was really only a mattress. Things like blankets, pillows, and maybe even a headboard created a bed to me. In the middle of my slumber, I heard a rattle. It sounded like someone was running all around the living room. As I crept closer to the door, I heard Dan’s voice yelling “fuck” over and over again. From the corner of my eye, I saw a red flashing light coming from the window. I looked outside, and surely enough, there were two squad cars parked out front. A sudden fear came over me, and I thought God I hope Dan doesn’t do anything stupid.
    Quickly, I went back over to the door, where I heard a loud clang of steel. Dan must be in the kitchen. OH SHIT!
    I broke open the door, ran down the hall, and leaped almost all ten steps on the way downstairs. The house was nothing more than blurred colors as I frantically searched for Dan’s pigment. Suddenly, I heard the front door’s lock being unhinged. “Ahhhh” BOOM. I followed the noise until I reached a cop standing in the doorway pointing a .45. I looked down to see Dan on the ground, with a wound in his chest. No. No. He didn’t get shot, did he?
    “Stop where you are!” the cop screamed. I froze.
    “Jerry, call an ambulance!” he yelled back to another officer.
    “What? No. What the fuck did you do?” I said. Dan wasn’t moving.
    “He...He came at me with a knife.”
    The steak knife rested by Danny’s side; his sister came running out.
    “no. no. danny. No!” she sobbed, and rushed to his body. Blood oozed, bastard got him right in the heart. Still had his hat on though.
    “An ambulance from St. Nicholas’ is on its way, sir.” The cop told us.
    Words were spoken but our ears fell deaf as the paramedics took Danny away from us. Tears rolled down her face while they lifted him onto the gurney, and checked him for any signs of life. There were none. While I watched them load the black-blanketed corpse into the back, one came up to me.
    “I thought maybe you’d want to hold on to this.” The paramedic said as he handed me his red cap.
    “Thanks.”
    The sun was hot. Too damn hot. Christmas was over.
    I walked the streets, expecting tears that never came; sometimes I hated being so tough. I thought about that night, how alive Danny seemed, how dead he was now. My whole life, I always thought things would get better, they had to. Maybe, this was it though. This second, this minute, this hour. Danny knew his time was up, something few people are privileged with. He wished that he could have held on to “it” forever, but really, that’s all you can ever hold on to: your memories. So I proudly put on that big red hat, and opened that tiny door.
    Somewhere there is a woman weeping, sealing decorations back into a box for December, possibly never to be seen again. Doomed to a life of dust and attic darkness. As for me, I am licking melted chocolate off of my fingertips on a warm, August day.

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