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This writing was accepted for publication in the 84 page perfect-bound issue... cc&d magazine (v212) (the September 2010 Issue) |
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Order this issue from our printer as an ISSN# paperback book:  or as the ISBN# book “Six Six Six”:  |
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SIXXIS
Rufus Ryan
Death-metal music was playing on Sixxis’ stereo as I sat on her bed and watched her cut her arms. As I watched her cut, I thought about how she was slowly destroying herself. I still couldn’t fathom why six sexual predators ravished her psyche; why they killed the peaceful and loving Sativa.
After I watched her make several cuts, I asked, “Sixxis, where is your TV remote?”
Sixxis glared at me. “AHHH! I don’t know! Shut the fuck up, Elbert!”
I shook my head. “I’ll find it myself.”
After I found the remote under her bed, I turned on the TV. But the distraction still didn’t take my mind off what Sixxis was doing to herself. I said, “Hey, Sixxis. Will you put on one of those tie-dye dresses that you used to wear all the time?”
She flicked me off. Then she started cutting again. I said, “You’ve seen enough blood already! Come watch TV with me.”
She put her bloodstained pen knife onto a bloodstained towel. Then, with a scowl on her face, she got up off the floor. Moments later, she was standing right in front of me. Before I could say anything, she snatched the remote out of my hand. She said, “Fuck them!” She turned off the TV and tossed the remote under her bed. “I’m going to burn those fucking dresses! And I’m going to kill that fucking TV!”
She walked to her dresser. And as she put on her pants, she continued to yell at me. “I’m never going to wear a fucking dress again! Do you think I want to make it easier for the rapist to rape me! Ahhhhh!”
I sighed. “I’m sorry I asked. Fuck!”
“You should be!”
She put on a white tank-top: a shirt she referred to as her man-beater. Then she sat next to me on the bed. I kissed her cheek. “I’m sorry.”
She fired up a cig. “What the fuck, Elbert. Are you becoming a TV zombie?”
I fired up a cig. “No fucking way! I got brainwashed enough by TV when I was a kid.”
As she stared at the TV, she said, “Fuck TV! It inspired those fuckers.”
“Yeah, probably.” I grabbed the remote from under her bed and turned the TV back on. “It won’t inspire me.”
She yelled, “Turn it off, Elbert!”
Sixxis grabbed the remote from my hand and threw it at the portraits of her six rapists. Then she got off the bed, put her cig in the ashtray and opened her window. She yelled, “Fuck them!”
Sixxis unplugged the TV and tossed it out the window. I started laughing hysterically after I heard the TV smash against her concrete driveway.
When I stopped laughing, I looked at the gloomy expression that was on Sixxis’ face. I said, “Come on! That was fucking hilarious!”
Sixxis glared at me. Then she grabbed her cig from the ashtray and she sat on my lap. I pulled a joint from my cig pack. “Hey! Can you throw your TV out the window again after we smoke this joint?”
She surprised me with a genuine laugh. She said, “That was funny, huh?”
I fired up the joint. “Yeah, it was.” I hugged her. “I’m so happy that your sense of humor and your love for me survived.”
“Me too.” She kissed me. “Thanks for putting up with my hostility.”
We passed the joint back and forth to each other until we inhaled all of its smoke. Then I asked her, “What do you want to do tonight?”
Sixxis stood up and screamed at the pictures of her rapists. Then she yelled, “I want to go rapist hunting!”
She grabbed a knife from under her pillow. Then, as she stabbed her rapists, she said, “I want to cut off every dick that’s out there searching for a woman to rape.”
“You serious?”
She stopped stabbing the rapists. Then she slowly turned around and looked at me. “Fuck! I love you, Elbert. You’re the only man in this world that I love. But when are you going to realize that the rapists need to be stopped!”
Sixxis stuck the knife into her wall. Then, as she used both of her hands to pull on her long, orange hair, she said, “They’ll never stop unless we show them that there will be vicious consequences for their actions.”
As she continued to pull her hair, she started pacing around the room. I said, “Chill out, Sixxis.”
She glared at me as she walked towards me. I knew she wanted to hit me. I said, “Don’t!”
She stopped walking towards me. Then she looked at her rapists. “Fuck them!” She smacked her face. “We punish them by giving them shelter and food. And when they get out of prison they just rape, rape, rape again!”
“I know, Sixxis. It’s—-”
“They’re still raping me every fucking day!” She sat next to her bloodstained towel and she took off her pants. “Happy sixteenth fucking birthday, Sativa! They scream and laugh as they fuck me. Ahhhhh!” She grabbed her pen knife. “More pain and blood is what I need!”
Sixxis started cutting her thighs, and she didn’t stop cutting until she had the amount of blood that she desired. Then she started putting the blood on her eyelids and lips.
When Sixxis was done putting on her make-up, she sat by me on the bed. And after she fired up a cig, she calmly said, “Elbert...get that red piece of paper that’s on my desk, my strap-on dildo, two butcher knives, some rope, and one of my gags.”
“Why? Do you have to dominate a guy at the dungeon tonight?”
She laughed. “Yeah, I’m going to dominate a guy tonight, but he’s not going to pay me with paper. He’s going to pay me with his blood!”
I knew she was going to get her revenge one day, and I just hoped that after she got her revenge, that she would be able to resurrect Sativa.
I stared into her icy light-blue eyes. “Tonight is the night, huh?”
She gave me a cute smile. “It’s time to start my fucking avenging. Are you going to be at my side when I’m fucking them up?”
“I should have been at your side that night it happened.” I held her hand. “I will be at your side tonight.”
She kissed me. “I love you, Elbert.”
“I love you, Sixxis.” I touched her lips as I looked into her eyes. “Your rapists will receive cruel and unusual punishment.”
After I put her tools in her backpack, I said, “This is going to be crazy!”
Sixxis slowly ran her knife-like fingernails down the side of my face. “It’s going to be fucking righteous!”
“Hey! We better bring our ski masks.”
She laughed. “You can wear one. But I want him to know that I’m taking his blood.”
“But then the cops will be after us.”
“Yeah, they’ll want to punish us for our righteous crimes. But they won’t be able to find us.”
I gave her a confused look. She said, “Remember that fucked-up dream that I told you about?”
“The one where you were possessed?”
She grinned. “That supernatural force is still within me. And it will prevent them from capturing us.”
As I caressed the cuts on her thigh, I asked, “Where will we go?”
“There are a lot of places where I can find a job as a dominatrix.” She handed me her car keys. “You drive.”
After we walked out of her house, I picked up her TV off the driveway and tossed it on her lawn. I laughed. “You almost hit your car with the TV.”
Sixxis shrugged her shoulders. Then we got in her car and drove off. While I drove, Sixxis told me the directions to the sex offender’s house.
When we got to the house, we parked across the street from it. And after we assumed that the rapist wasn’t home, because we saw no car in his driveway, we got out of the car. Sixxis said, “Let’s go hide by those tall bushes that are on the side of his house.”
After we hid by the bushes, I asked, “What’s next?”
“We wait.” She kissed me. “Now get the knives out.”
I got my ski mask and the butcher knives from the backpack. I handed her a knife. She asked, “You ready?”
I put on my ski mask. “Yeah...are you?”
“You fucking know I am.”
With our butcher knives in one hand, and our cigs in our other hand, we waited for the rapist to come home. And as we waited, we stayed as silent as the night that we were living in.
After about five minutes of staying silent, I said, “This is boring.”
Sixxis glared at me. “You’re bored, huh.” She grabbed my lad. “I’ll cure your boredom.”
After she stopped fondling my lad, she said, “Close your eyes and put out your tongue.”
I obeyed, and after I felt her put something on my tongue, I opened my eyes and looked at the blotter paper that was on the tip of my tongue. I grinned. “Did you eat one?”
She stuck out her tongue. I said, “You took three! Fuck! How strong is it? Who did you get it from?”
She grinned. “From some guy who pays me to put metal rods in his dick hole.”
I grimaced as I grabbed my lad. “Ouch! Fuck that!”
About an hour after we ate the paper, insanity started creeping into my mind. And I knew that the insanity would most likely create chaos. I said, “Sixxis!” I sat on the ground. “What if our behavior becomes murderous?”
Sixxis sat next to me. “I can already see his blood.” She put the tip of her knife under her eye. “I’m going to put on a mask, too.”
I could feel my senses start to alter as Sixxis started cutting her arms with her butcher knife. I said, “Fuck! Be careful. You might cut your whole fucking arm off with that thing.”
She slapped me. “I didn’t bring my pen knife. So shut the fuck up!”
“Alright...fuck!”
When Sixxis was done cutting, I watched her smear her blood all over her face. I said, “A blood mask.” I ran my fingers through her hair. “So fucking sexy.”
She kissed me. “You want some of my blood on your face?”
I watched the features of her face distort as I thought about her question. I said, “Yeah, I do.”
After she made some new cuts, I took off my ski mask. Then she started smearing her blood on my face. I said, “Fuck! We might not even need the knives. We’re going to scare him to death.”
By the time she was finished with my blood mask, I was definitely living across the street from sanity. Gravity was still holding my body down, but my mind had escaped my head and it was flying through colorful gases in outer space. I slowly said, “Whoa...look at the stars sparkle...look at the moon shine...look at the—-”
Sixxis punched me in the arm. “Look at the headlights.” She pointed at the glaring lights. “He’s home.”
After I put on my ski mask, we walked from the bushes and to the corner of the house. And after Sixxis peeked around the corner of the house, she turned to me and said, “That’s him. Let’s get him.”
With our knives in our hands, we ran right at the guy. When the guy noticed us, he stumbled backwards and fell to the ground. Sixxis and I stood over him. I said, “Stay quiet and obey our commands and you won’t get hurt, rapist!”
Sixxis kicked him. “His name is Greg!”
Greg looked at Sixxis. “How, how, how do you—-”
Sixxis slapped him. “You don’t recognize my blood, do you?” She put her face right in front of his. “Do you remember Sativa!”
Greg didn’t respond verbally; he just continued shitting his pants.
Sixxis pulled Greg’s hair. “Get up!”
After Greg got up, Sixxis held her knife to his throat. “Take us inside you fucking rapist.”
Once we were inside his front room, Sixxis ordered Greg to get completely naked. Greg reluctantly obeyed, and as he started taking off all his clothes, Sixxis said to him, “You and your friends fucked up my life!” She screamed at him. “Now I’m going to fuck up your mind!”
Greg trembled as I tied him to a chair: he knew he was fucked.
After I tied Greg to the chair, Sixxis started punching him in the face repeatedly as she screamed at him. I cheered her on as I watched ecstasy glisten in her eyes. “Yeah! Punch that rapist! Punch him!”
Greg whined as he received Sixxis’ fury. And when she was done punching him, she asked him, “It’s hard to defend yourself when you’re tied up, huh?”
Greg didn’t respond; he just hung his head and whimpered. But Sixxis stopped his whimpering by putting the gag in his mouth. She said, “I’m going to brand you so you don’t forget what you are.”
Tears started falling down Greg’s bloody face as Sixxis started carving the letter R into his chest. And when she finished carving the word RAPIST into his flesh, she took the gag out of his mouth. She said, “I’m going to give you a chance to escape my wrath, rapist.” She grabbed his throat. “If you can tell me one good reason why you raped me, I won’t hurt you.”
I knew Sixxis was playing with Greg’s mind; that he couldn’t possibly come up with a valid excuse for what he did to her. But, with fear dominating his mind, I knew he didn’t realize that his words could not save him.
Greg looked at the floor while he said, “While I was in prison...I told my cellmate that I raped you because...because of the alcohol, the peer pressure, the environment at that party...because you were being so provocative.”
Sixxis slapped him. “You’re blaming me!”
Greg looked at Sixxis. “No, no, no. I’m not blaming you. I blame myself....and my ancestors.”
Sixxis slapped him. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“My cellmate told me that I raped you because my ancestors raped. Something about natural selection. I don’t know...it was hard to understand. But he told me that I could prevent myself from raping again by understanding why I raped you.”
Sixxis slapped him. “Your ancestors don’t excuse your behavior, and this isn’t about figuring out how to prevent you from raping again.” She spit on him. “This is about pure fucking revenge!”
Greg pleaded with Sixxis. “Come on, Sativa. Please!”
Sixxis slapped him. “You killed Sativa!” She punched him. “Now, you have to make a choice. I either cut it off, or I fuck you with my strap-on dildo.”
Greg yelled, “Nooo! Please! Don’t do that to me!”
Sixxis and I laughed in unison as we watched Greg’s eyes fill with terror. I said, “Sixxis, this is going to be very therapeutic for you. Did your psychiatrist tell you to do this?”
Sixxis laughed. “My sick mind thought of doing this. The sick mind that this rapist helped create!” She slapped him. “Make your decision, rapist!”
It didn’t take long for Greg to make his choice. I laughed. “I’d make that choice, too.” I spit on him. “But YOU want to keep it so you can rape again!”
With despair showing on his face, Greg asked, “How did you find me?”
“Technology.” I showed him the red piece of paper. “The great state of Oregon let’s its citizens know exactly where all the convicted rapists live.”
Looking despondent, Greg hung his head. I said, “Sixxis, I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything.”
“Wait!” Sixxis grabbed my arm. “Help me tie him to the chair in the position that they had me in when they raped me.”
Sixxis held her knife to Greg’s throat as I untied him and repositioned his body. And after I tied him to the chair again, Sixxis put on her strap-on dildo. I said, “Have fun, Sixxis. Tell me when you’re done.”
Sixxis laughed. “When I stop laughing you’ll know I’m done.”
I went in Greg’s kitchen, and before I could sit down in a chair, Greg started screaming and Sixxis started laughing. I yelled, “Sixxis! Put the gag in his mouth. He’s going to wake up the neighbors.”
I started laughing hysterically.
After I stopped laughing, I fired up a cig. Then I started asking myself questions as I looked around at my surroundings. “Where the fuck am I? Who the fuck am I? Where the fuck and who the fuck are we?”
After about an hour of entertaining myself by watching random and inanimate objects melt, Sixxis stopped laughing.
I went back in the front room. Greg was unconscious, and blood was dripping from his anus. Sixxis was sitting on the couch. She calmly said, “Come here, Elbert.”
I sat by her on the couch. She grinned as she looked at Greg. “Would you stab him for me?”
I took off my ski mask. “I’ll do anything for you.”
She kissed me. “Would you die for me?”
As I looked at her dilated pupils, I slowly ran my finger down her spine. “I have already envisioned that I will follow you to my death...”
