This writing was accepted for publication in the 84 page perfect-bound issue... Down in the Dirt magazine (v089) (the December 2010 Issue)		Order this issue from our printer as an ISSN# paperback book: or as the ISBN# book “When the World Settles”:

Order this writing in the 2010 collection book of July-December prose from “Down in the Dirt”:		click on the book cover for an author & poem listing, order the 5.5" x 8.5" ISSN# book order the 6" x 9" ISBN# book

a Considerate Dog

John Ragusa

    Josh Garber went to a pet shop one afternoon. There were animals of all kinds in it. Garber had a wide variety of pets to choose from. He had already decided what pet he wanted, however. It was not the kind of pet most people would buy. Garber was a man of unusual tastes. He preferred weird things. He had no admiration for the ordinary.
    A salesman approached Garber. “What can I do for you, sir?”
    “I want a unique dog,” Garber said.
    “You’re looking for a special pet, is that it?”
    “That’s right. I want a dog that can do something no other dog can do.”
    “I think I can help you.”
    The salesman showed Garber a Great Dane. “This might be the dog for you. He is a very rare breed. He has the ability to talk.”
    “No kidding? That’s hard to believe.”
    “It’s true, though. He can hold an intelligent conversation with you. He says the most amazing things.”
    “He must be a very smart dog.”
    “Yes, he is. He was trained by one of the best English teachers in the country.”
    “I would have thought that he was born with the capability of speech.”
    “No, someone taught him how to talk.”
    “What does he talk about?”
    “Sports, politics, food – you name it, he talks about it. He can discuss a wide range of topics.”
    “I could use someone to converse with.”
    “Well, this dog just loves to engage in conversation.”
    “He won’t talk my arm off, will he?”
    “Oh, no. He knows when to shut up.”
    “Does he talk too loud?”
    “No, his voice is low.”
    “Make him say something.”
    “I will, but it’ll cost you $50.”
    “That’s a lot of money.”
    “It’s how much a demonstration costs.”
    “You drive a hard bargain.”
    “I’m sorry; those are my rules.”
    “All right. If he speaks to me, I’ll pay you the money.”
    So the salesman said to the dog, “Okay, Dixie, say a few words for the man.”
    The dog yawned, scratched behind his ear, and said nothing.
    “Come on, talk for me,” the salesman said. “Don’t make a fool out of me.”
    The dog still didn’t speak. The salesman was baffled.
    “I don’t understand it,” he said to Garber. “Normally this dog would have spoken volumes.”
    “I think that maybe you were pulling my leg,” Garber said. “Everyone knows a dog can’t talk. It’s simply not possible.”
    “I swear I wasn’t lying to you, sir,” the salesman insisted. “This dog really can talk.”
    “Then why isn’t he speaking to us?”
    “I don’t know; I can’t explain it.”
    “I was naîve to have believed you. What you fed me was a load of bull.”
    “I take exception to that statement,” the salesman said. “I am an honest businessman. I wouldn’t try to cheat a customer.”
    “I ought to check you out with the Better Business Bureau. They can tell me if you run a reliable store.”
    “You go ahead and do that. You’ll find that everything I do is legitimate.”
    “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t leave here at once.”
    “If you stay around long enough, the dog may decide to speak. I can only assume that he is shy because you are a stranger. If he gets to know you better, he might start talking to you.”
    “Very well. I’ll remain here for a while and wait for the mutt to talk. If he says something, I’ll buy him from you. But if he doesn’t, I’ll take my business elsewhere.”
    Garber waited several more minutes. The dog remained silent. Garber was about to walk out the exit when the telephone in the next room rang. The salesman excused himself and went to answer it.
    After he had gone, the dog told Garber, “Will you please buy me? I hate living in this place.”
    Garber was dumbfounded. “You really can talk!” he said. “That’s incredible! But why didn’t you talk before?”
    The dog looked at him and said, “What are you griping about, Mister? I just saved you 50 bucks!”

Copyright of written pieces remain with the author, who has allowed it to be shown through Scars Publications and Design.Web site © Scars Publications and Design. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted without express permission from the author.

Problems with this page? Then deal with it...