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cc&d (v220) (the May 2011 Issue)



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Tranced in the Existential Trenches

Melvin F. Ballew

I want your touch
velvet and lavender, lightning and rush
I know I do
I think of it often
but I know, only too well
the fear of your touch
how it will burn me, to the core
how you will leave me, hanging like fire on the cross
how it will leave me
abandoned and hurting
in desperation of the ache
wounded, a cryout in the night
under blackout skies much too close to the bone

I want your touch
your kisses, the closeness of your body to mine
the sultry whispers, the midnight passion of your eyes
your scent, your sex
long, passionate, hot sex
steady, sometimes unbelievable
a rose for endless variations in continuity
but, BUT .....
if I let you let me
I will pay for it, until my heart bleeds dry
until the sky is deep no more

I want your touch
like great thirst with no room for subtleties
I want your touch
for the love of a woman
but damn, it is impossible
and the pages turning
do not render the distance in a softer light
nor do they release me from so many subliminal distortions
or tangles in lost and forgotten echoes

I want your touch
velvet and lavender
because I need the touch, the touch of you
the lace of presence, the ongoing bonding
because I sweat at night, under moonglow
for contact, for your touch
for an impossible resurrection of love
because I need to get out of this hell
or through, or over it
I want out of this theater of lesser authenticity
I want mostly
my life back the way it was
before, I wanted your touch



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