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This writing was accepted for publication in the 84 page perfect-bound issue... Down in the Dirt magazine (v094) (the May 2011 Issue) You can also order this 5.5" x 8.5" issue as an ISSN# paperback book:						This writing also appears in this 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback “Looking Beyond” Order this 6" x 9" ISBN# book: (also available through amazon.com)

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Waiting for Death

Victor Phan

    Brian and Dan sat against the cabin wall. Their pallid faces panged with hunger and exhaustion as both men looked to be on death’s doorstep. Wooden planks with nails and makeshift bindings sealed the windows shut. Remnants of a violent brawl left the furniture scattered all over the floor. Flies swarmed around the thick brown coagulated bloodstain coating the wooden floor leading to the barricaded front door. Brian breathed heavily and summoned the strength to move slowly towards the window. He closed his eyes hoping that when he looked out, he wouldn’t see the horror that kept them locked away like prisoners.
    Brian reopened his eyes and cautiously peaked through the crack in the boards. It was too dark to make anything out. The cabin was in the mountains, far away from streetlights. The moon was the only source of illumination, like the way it was for primitive man. In the age of iPads and iPhones, how ironic it was for Brian to be reverted back to days of homoerectus peering out of his dark cave, hoping not to see predators stalking in the moon light. Unfortunately for Brian, the predators he feared were much worse than saber-toothed tigers or feral wolves. Far worse. Primitive man had it easy.
    Dan stirred towards Brian and weakly spoke through his dried blood encrusted lips, “I don’t know why you even bother.”
    Brian didn’t let the words deter him; he couldn’t let the words deter him. Even though he knew he was being foolish, he still held onto some childish notion of hope that when he looked out that window, there would be nothing there and they would finally be free from the nightmare that kept them captive for a week. He squinted into the darkness focusing his vision on the outside world. He felt his heart sink into his stomach as his eyes adjusted to the darkness and made out moving shapes.
    Throngs of the undead surrounded the cabin, skulking around in a trance. Their decomposed flesh and tattered clothes swarmed with waves of flies. They made ghastly sounds whenever their gaping mouths opened, either attempting some form of communication or expelling gasses from their rotten innards. These were the predators of the modern age, mindless, fearless, and coming in great masses. They shambled aimlessly in circles around the cabin as if lost in some dream. Absolutely defeated, Brian sat back down next to Dan.
    “Well?” Dan inquired.
    “Still there,” Brian replied, wishing he were lying.
    “It’s like they can smell us or something.” Dan surmised.
    “We’re sitting ducks here, Dan. We need to find help.” Brian slumped and grabbed handfuls of his own hair, trying to think of ways to escape their situation.
    “Are you crazy? We had a hard enough time getting in here in the first place. If we leave now we’re as good as dead,” Dan replied.
    Brian instinctively looked to the bloodstain at the front door and his mind replayed the shoot out on the first day they arrived and took refuge in the cabin. They both almost lost their lives that day. They originally came up to the mountains for camping but instead found themselves surrounded by waves of mindless cannibals. While fleeing from the zombies, Brian and Dan stumbled upon the abandoned cabin. They shot their way through the entrance and barricaded the door.
    The safety they found was only momentary. As soon as they turned around an infected version of the original cabin-owner had leapt on Dan. Dan hit the ground hard struggling to keep the cabin-owner’s hungry jaws away from his throat. Brian soccer kicked it in the face sending bits of corroded teeth flying everywhere. Dan crawled out from under it and right when it looked up at Brian with its horrible gaze, Brian put a bullet between its eyes. They dragged the body outside and lit it on fire, keeping the others away from the cabin momentarily.
    Brian pondered if it would’ve been better if they had died that day. It would have spared them from the predicament they currently found themselves in. No matter how much the odds were against them, he still couldn’t surrender to just withering away without attempting escape. Brian said, “We’re just waiting for death here anyway. I’d rather die out there than stay another day in this tomb.”
    Dan began to cough violently and squeezed his own arm. Dan had been nursing his arm ever since his struggle with the previous cabin-owner. He must have hurt it during their tussle. To make matters even worse, Dan became more and more lethargic as each day passed. When the coughing stopped, Dan swallowed down the bile in his throat and inquired, “How many bullets you got left?”
    Brian felt the cold steel of the revolver against his waistband. He felt a slight sense of safety whenever he felt the metal against his warm skin; that always meant, for a moment anyway, he didn’t have to use it. He had lost so much weight he was surprised the gun never slipped out and thudded on the floor. Brian pulled out the revolver and opened the chamber. There were 5 empty slots and only a single bullet left, only one more chance of freedom or salvation.
    “One,” Brian said.
    “One bullet. We don’t stand a chance even if we were strong enough to fight our way through them,” Dan reasoned. The coughing came back.
    As much as Brian hated to admit it, Dan was right. Brian had never felt a worse or more disempowering feeling than the utter helplessness he currently found himself in. In a fit of rage, Brian sprang to his feet and knocked over the table. His boiling blood made him forget all of his fatigue. He kicked his foot through a chair. “Fuck! We can’t stay cooped up here forever! There’s no food or water in fuckin’ shit hole!”
    Dan curled up like a frightened child as Brian yelled at the top of his lungs.
    Outside of the cabin, zombies wandered around aimlessly. The cold sting of the mountain air no longer bothered their dead skin. Their minds were so far gone they only knew the company of silence, but the silence was broken by Brian’s angry voice penetrating the night’s crisp air. “I’m not gonna die here! If you want to go right ahead but . . .”
    Some of the zombies stopped dead in their tracks and turned their heads towards the voice coming from within the wooden walls.
    Inside the cabin Brian continued fuming at Dan, “I’m fuckin’ out of here!”
    Dan struggled to get up. Dan felt his aching joints give out forcing him to stumble back onto the floor. He crawled to Brian’s legs and begged, “Please, Brian, don’t leave me. I’m too weak to go with you.”
    Brian couldn’t bear to look at this pathetic display. Brian glanced around the room ignoring the man at his feet. Dan collapsed onto Brian’s boots and cried. Tears and foams of mucus covered the black leather. “Please don’t leave alone here!”
    Brian tried his best to ignore his friend’s entreaties. This was how their entire lives have always played out. Brian was always the strong one who was adamant about something, only to sacrifice it for the weaker Dan. The worse time was during their senior year of high school. Brian had received a letter saying he was granted a full academic scholarship to wrestle for Iowa State University. Brian’s life dream was to become a wrestling legend like his hero Dan Gable. Brian immediately called Dan to share the great news with him.
    That night Brian went to Dan’s house to play videogames together after wrestling practice. He found Dan in his room with a noose around his neck and tiptoeing on a stool. Brian ran to Dan and caught his legs, bracing Dan’s weight and removed the noose. Dan cried profusely saying how he would be all alone with Brian gone. Brian pleaded with Dan but there was no reasoning with him. Brian chose to stay in town and go to community college with Dan so he would never be alone. Every year since that incident Brian felt a burn of resentment in his chest whenever he watched the NCAA wrestling championships on TV. Brian often wondered was Dan really the weaker one out of the two of them, or was it himself for always giving in?
    Their current problems in the wooden coffin were much bigger than Brian’s lost dreams. Dan was still at Brian’s feet, hugging Brian’s legs and pleading, “Brian, you’re all I have. I’ll die without you. You’re my best friend!”
    Brian bent over and helped Dan up to his feet. Brian spoke very calmly to soothe his hysterical friend. “Look, Dan. We can’t stay here any longer. We don’t have supplies here and will starve to death if those things out there don’t get us first.”
    Brian paused and carefully considered what to say next. A decision had to be made. “I’ll make a deal with you. We’ll stay one more night so you can gather your strength, but we’re leaving first thing in the morning. I’ll carry you if I have to.”
    The men didn’t do or say anything for a brief second. Then Dan exploded with even more tears than before and hugged Brian tightly. Brian paused, and then sympathetically patted Dan’s back. History had a funny way of repeating itself.
    Dan stopped sobbing just long enough to say, “You’re my best friend, Brian.”

**************************************************************************

    Brian snapped awake to the sound of pounding on the walls. This could only mean one thing.
    “No,” the words barely escaped his lips.
    Brian’s head snapped left to right scanning his surroundings. He saw the wooden planks on the windows being torn down from the outside. Brian immediately thought of Dan. Brian sprang to his feet and searched the enclosure for this friend. He was nowhere in sight.
    “Dan!” Brian called. No answer.
    Brian rushed around the cabin frenzied. “Dan! Where the hell are you?”
    With no trace of Dan in the living room, Brian looked towards the shut bedroom door. Brian immediately ran towards it, as the sounds of splintering wood grew louder. He turned the doorknob but it wouldn’t budge.
    “Dan! Are you in there?” He yelled to the door. Still there was no answer.
    A loud crash came from behind. Brian turned to see a zombie crawl through the open window into the cabin. Brian was petrified by fear. The dead thing scanned the cabin in its dreamlike manner then it looked right at him. Brian frantically jiggled the doorknob until it gave way and turned. Brian threw the door open and rushed into the room, slamming the door shut behind him. He couldn’t even breathe a sigh of relief before he felt hard impacts coming from the other side. He shuttered as the pounds reverberated through the door. Brian grabbed the dresser and propped it against the door buying a few minutes. Brian backed away and turned to the bed.
    He saw the contour of Dan’s body covered from head to toe under the bed sheets. Brian rushed over and yelled, “Dan! We gotta go now!”
    He pulled the sheets away and couldn’t process what he was seeing. Dan lied there absolutely still. His eyes were glazed and his chest wasn’t moving.
    “Dan?” Brian asked still not wanting to accept what his eyes relayed to him.
    Brian covered Dan’s face with the sheet. He turned around and took a single step before collapsing. Brian’s heart shattered and he lamented. Images of their childhood together flashed through his mind. He buried his face in his hands and let the torrent of tears and screams flow from the open wound in his heart.
    In the living room, more zombies entered the cabin. They surrounded the bedroom door and continued their barrage. A fat zombie came to the door and struck using its full weight. The hinges of the door bent with each blow.
    Brian cried alone on the bedroom floor. Brian began holding his breath in attempts to pull himself together. He knew what was on the other side of the door would be in the bedroom very shortly.
    “I gotta go,” he said to himself before getting back to his feet.
    Brian headed towards the boarded up window, his only way out of this nightmare. With his bare hands, he pried the planks off. He placed his foot on the sill preparing to cross the threshold into freedom. Behind him, Dan’s body raised to its feet with the sheets still covering his face.
    Brian sensed something was amiss. He paused and turned around. “No, Dan. Not you.”
    Dan slowly stepped towards Brian. The sheets slid off his face to reveal his new self, the undead version of Dan. The rolled up sleeve on Dan’s injured arm revealed a grotesque bite mark on his forearm. Dan’s mouth opened up spilling out putrid black fluid, hungry for its first taste of warm flesh. The bedroom door behind him burst apart as Dan stepped closer to Brian. Wooden splinters gave way and Brian made eye contact with the fat zombie trying to get in. Brian knew the dresser blocking their path would only hold them for a few more seconds.
    Brian had never felt so defeated in his entire life. Tears stung his eyes as he considered his options. He had very few precious seconds to make his decision before he would be overrun and torn into sticky globs of meat. He took out the revolver from his waistband and said, “You’re my best friend, Dan.”
    Brian aimed and pulled the trigger. The bullet bore clean through Dan’s forehead and exited on the other side, painting the wall behind him red and black. Dan’s reanimated corpse fell lifelessly onto the floor and finally found the sense of peace he never knew in life. Brian wasted no time in turning around and leaping out of the window.
    Brian landed in the dirt and pointed his empty gun in front of him. The path was clear since all the zombies were still inside the cabin. Brian dropped the gun onto the ground knowing that he no longer needed it. He turned around and took one last look at the cabin before running off into the distance – finally a free man.

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