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This writing was accepted for publication in the 84 page perfect-bound issue of cc&d (v226) (the November 2011 Issue, You can also order this 5.5" x 8.5" issue as an ISSN# paperback book:						This is also in this 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback “No Return” Order this 6" x 9" ISBN# book:

Order this writing in the book Fragments (a cc&d collection book)		get the 322 page September-December 2011 cc&d magazine issue collection 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback book:

The Avant-Garde Swan Song

Lisa Cappiello

You take a giant step to avoid the mahogany framed full-length mirror
as the mere thought of viewing your mangled reflection first thing in the morning is far too much to handle
I lay still amongst the tousled sheets
secretly hoping you’ll come back to bed and hold me like you did all through the night
as if I was the only buoy in the middle of the ocean and you were clinging to your life
Familiar sounds murmur in the distance:
the train passing through the elevated station, a Spanish folk song blaring from the neighbors’ clock radio, the sizzle of your scalding hot shower water
But it’s only your voice I hear as I replay the words that you whispered hours ago, preceded by a gentle kiss in the center of my forehead
“Before I can hand you my heart, I have to love myself”
My chest is heavy but it is not due to the familiar poking of the unknown that I know all too well
the feeling that creeps in at sunrise and taunts me obsessively throughout the day
Perhaps I am somewhat relieved
that you had the foresight to close the amusement park before I had an opportunity to experience the remaining roller coasters
or maybe, I find comfort in the thought that we mirror the oil painting that hangs on the wall closest to where I’ve grown accustomed to resting my head
A clear, promising image of two very different hands that extend far enough for the tips their middle fingers to touch
As you reenter the doorway of the bedroom, car keys in hand, neck craned
I control my breath and resume a stagnant position, enabling you to retract with some degree of dignity
Because I already handed you my heart, lifetimes ago

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