THE CONVENT
Mel Waldman
ACT 1
SCENE 1
The analyst sits on a black leather chair (downstage center) behind and left of a white psychoanalytic couch. (The analyst, chair, and couch face the audience.) He is alone in his private office. A few minutes ago, the patient for this hour cancelled. And his former colleague’s lover called to tell him his old buddy committed suicide. The next patient is due in 50 minutes.
CHARACTERS:
The Analyst:A
AThe Convent was infested with evil spirits. There should have been an exorcism. Jack and I knew this. But there wasn’t. So I left before it killed me. Jack stayed behind. He wanted to save lives. I wanted to save my own. The day I left, I got ill. The palpitations began. Thought I was in heart attack country. I wasn’t. Just free. Until I got the call. It’s quite simple. My former colleague and dear friend- Dr. Jack Kellerman-committed suicide. Anne, his live-in lover, just called and told me. Apparently, Jack’s patient overdosed a few days ago. Didn’t die. Son-of-a-bitch is still alive. Gonna make a full recovery. Yet Jack blamed himself. So deeply hurt that... It’s simple. It makes no sense. There must be more. Of course, it’s the Convent! Yeah. You see, the Clinic exists inside a very old building-used to be a convent. Jesus! What happened there-before we arrived? And after? I must confess! One by one, we died! Why? I’m a shrink! Not an exorcist! So I left. (The analyst becomes very agitated and disoriented. He sails into a seizure or... His heart pounds rapidly. His chest...!) Forgive me! Forgive me, Jack! Forgive me! The Convent! The freakin’ Convent! Forgive me, Jack! Should have forced you to leave too. It’s fuckin’ evil! You hear me, Jack? I must confess! I killed you! I fuckin’ killed you! (The analyst whirls around and around and collapses on the couch. Blackout!)
CURTAIN
ACT 1
SCENE 2
A few seconds later, the curtain rises rapidly. The analyst leaps off the couch, whirls and twirls and stops suddenly. He gazes at the audience:
AGuilt sucks! Death sucks too! Resurrection! Hallelujah! I’m alive! Just kiddin’, Jack. Didn’t kill you. The Convent did. Life’s my thing. My only thing. Goodbye! (He turns around and walks off-stage.)
CURTAIN
