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Writings To Honour & Cherish
GARBLED SIGNAL

T. Allen Culpepper

He’s sitting alone at a corner table
on the terrace of a Cherry Street restaurant,
and what gets noticed first is the brilliant haircut,
a number-one buzz at the back and sides,
fading up gradually to a spiky top.
It looks hip, sexy, and very gay—whether he is or not—
and he clearly tips his stylist well
or offers his own services in kind.
Shiny silver hoops dangle from both ears;
a stubbly goatee completes the look.
A soft gray muscle tee, frayed denim shorts, and flip-flops
show off hairless arms and smooth tanned legs
as he sprawls in the sun on the patio chair.
A sweating bottle of beer and a pack
of cigarettes rest on the tabletop,
but he’s not drinking or smoking,
just chain-calling on his cell phone,
nearly oblivious of his surroundings,
certainly of the pedestrian voyeur who,
despite a brave attempt to move on,
can’t turn his eyes away and keeps
walking past just one more time,
hoping to get Cell Stud’s attention
but unable to distract him from his phone.
Finally overcome by lust, Voyeur
licks his dry lips, summons his courage,
steps up onto the terrace behind Cell Stud,
brushes an arm across his shoulder,
and whispers, “You are so fucking hot!”
A slight delay and then Cell Stud, stunned,
lowers his phone a couple of inches, turns,
and demands, “What did you say?!”
Voyeur, fearing a right good bashing,
panics, chickens, responds, “I just asked,
‘Are you doing all right,’” and retreats
down the sidewalk to his car.
He just knows Cell Stud, homophobic and
taken by surprise, is back on the phone,
telling a bud about “some fag who just hit on me.”
But as he opens the door to climb in,
he takes one last look over his shoulder
and sees Cell Stud doing the same.



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